Categories: Anatomy of a Photo

Anatomy of a Photo: Drifting Stones

I would have put this under the new “Belgian Affirmations” category, but was overcome with fear that King Kelly would hunt me down and strangle me with his death stare for the crime of suggesting he wants to be anything other than Irish.

It is said that some people ride the cobbles with greater ease than the rest. It isn’t necessarily a skill that is learned; on the contrary, some simply ride with a lighter touch than others resulting in them going over the stones a few kilometers per hour faster. These are the riders who excel in the rain-addled editions of the Cobbled Classics. In the absence of evidence to the contrary, I have no choice but to assume I have this skill.

King Kelly, on the other hand, got so bored riding shit-slicked pavé that he decided to start doing tricks and stunts on his way to his second victory in Paris-Roubaix. A moment after this shot was taken, he popped a one-handed Lone Ranger, causing Urs Freuler’s mustache to grow three sizes in amazement before temporarily falling off, ultimately leading to the loss of his ch’i and the race.

Unapologetic Cobblebone continues as I find myself thinking about little else other than Keepers Tour 2012: Cobbled Classics.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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  • @frank

    @Rookie_Roubaix

    His interviews in "Road to Roubaix" are awesome.

    VMH in Kenya, so I'm watching Cycling videos almost non-stop. Road to Roubaix has got to be the best cycling film made. Awesomeness.

    It's so damn awesome that I grabbed it via a bit torrent, which a friend kind of explained to me, but which I'm not that informed about, and watched the whole thing a bunch of times...before my computer had a massive issue. I had to get a friend to help me fix it and adamantly claim that I was watching cycling vids, not porn. And I really was.

    There are so many different parts from it that give me the chills. I need to put that on my holiday gift list. Of course, the only things I'm asking anyone for are cycling-linked.

  • @itburns

    @mcsqueak

    What always gets me is climbing out of the saddle in wet weather, when you get rear-wheel slip as you lose and regain traction on the wet road surface - gotta watch your rear-front weight balance in those situations.

    Getting out of the saddle on rollers will help with this. Forces you to focus on smooth weight distribution.

    Hell, man! I can hardly get my water bottle out of the cage and back again without shooting through the wall on rollers! That takes some skill, there.

  • @itburns

    @mcsqueak

    What always gets me is climbing out of the saddle in wet weather, when you get rear-wheel slip as you lose and regain traction on the wet road surface - gotta watch your rear-front weight balance in those situations.

    Getting out of the saddle on rollers will help with this. Forces you to focus on smooth weight distribution.

    Ha, best work up to this type of riding on rollers. It ain't easy, but does get easier. A lot of stuff on rollers makes you positive you'll kill yourself, even just getting on them the first time. But yes, it will help for sure.

    You know what else helps bike handling skills? Cross racing after only a handful of proper cross rides and absolutely zero background in off-road riding. Whistle blows, some fat, slow fucko cuts you off and forces you to sit in for a bit, and then you just start to hammer it and go as fast as you can, while keeping it upright.

    After just a bit of cross racing I feel like I'm a much, much better bike handler. Shoot, even corner on the road now seems vastly easier, smoother, and improved.

  • @Xyverz

    @Ron
    Many of my riding buddies on Strava have CX bikes. My coworkers are all MTB-ers. I've only got a single road bike (which I do know violates the rules, but I'm working on it - I'm a broke bastard), and a CX bike might just fill the gap between the two worlds. I've been considering it a lot, especially since my LBS currently has a wide selection of 'em on sale right now...

    I might get shouted down for this, but if funds are low at the moment, but you need the n+1, I'd say get a cross bike and run it with wide road tires or some light cx tires. A second, third, or fourth road bike is awesome, for sure. I kept on buying more road bikes, since I love road riding and everyone needs a carbon, a steel Italian, a classic bike, et cetera.

    But, you can get a pretty solid cross bike for a great price, especially on sale. Not worth it to get a so-so road bike, best to save for something slick you really like and lust after. And, if you only have two bikes the cross bike is key. You can use it for winter train, you can throw on full fenders, or, you can do some cross racing.

    I have four road bikes & one cross bike I picked up in April. Just last week I saw a cross bike on sale and couldn't pass it up. As an all-arounder, cross bikes make far more sense than a road race machine. More versatile, more air in your tires, cheaper, less sensitive about care, etc.

    Road bikes are great, but if you already have one and would like a second bike, a cross bike just allows for more applications. I tried to turn an Italian steel road bike into my do-it-all bike, but the geometry wouldn't allow for full fenders + bigger tires. And, it's a shame to lock up such a nice bike. And, no matter how much I told myself it was my n+4 road bike, I still couldn't just ride it in rain and be done with it.

    That's just my input for someone who has been bitten by the cx bug and decided to trade out a road bike for a cross bike. I truly admire people with just one bike. And sometimes it makes me kick myself, since the more bikes you have the more options/headaches you have.

  • @Ron
    Just don't get it too dirty so you can trade it in for whatever's in fashion next year.
    Snarky, I know, sorry. And they do make a lot of sense.
    Just really noticed how CX has taken off this season.
    This is a year old, but relevant.

  • @mcsqueak

    @itburns
    Well, luckily I've never had it cause a crash but those moments when you push down on the pedals and they don't "push back" like you'd expect are interesting, to say the least!

    I took a core sample of my knee like that mountain biking once. BUMMER! You know its deep when it takes a solide minute or two before it bleeds. And then...whooosh!

    As @itburns says, it's all about balance. That, and learning when to put more on the back wheel versus the front, because different road surface, as you're discovering, won't accept the same balance. Finally, you can learn what we do in old school Mountain biking back when they still rode uphill (and I assume in 'Cross) to stick your ass out over your wheel and keep your shoulders over your bars so you keep both ends weighted. That's a beauty.

    @Oli

    @Ron
    Ron, it sounds like you should try riding a cyclo-cross bike - I have a feeling you might enjoy it.

    Now you're just making things up! How could you possibly know??

  • Ah ha ha. Nice work, lads. I'll keep it clean. And, I might like cyclo-ing.

    Oli, don't get me all worked up!

    Blah, I think I know what you mean. An interesting mix of folks ride/race cross. It IS pretty cool these days.

  • @Blah

    @Ron
    Just don't get it too dirty so you can trade it in for whatever's in fashion next year.
    Snarky, I know, sorry. And they do make a lot of sense.
    Just really noticed how CX has taken off this season.
    This is a year old, but relevant.

    I'm not so sure CX is a fad; it's just a sport that's gaining popularity. Fuck the hipsters. RDV did it. Merckx did it. That's good enough for me.

    And do debunk my earlier statement about best cycling movies, I have to admit I love this one an awful lot.

  • @frank
    Too true. I did admit it was a snarky comment that, as you said, focussed on the quick rise in popularity of the sport.

    And yes, fuck the hipsters. But that's kind of implied in most comments posted here.

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