Anatomy of a Photo: Injustice

The hair, the shoes, the slicks. That's enough for me.

One of my favorite pass times is to chuck a cycling term into Google’s Image Search, set the filter to Large, and see what turns up. It is incredible how much porn you have to sift through, by the way. I would really think words like “shaved” and “hardman” would be innocent enough, but take it from me – that is not the case.

I have found, however, that through perseverance, determination, and a dash of grit comes reward, and this photo is evidence of that. I don’t know who this strapping young stud is, but he wrote at least one of the chapters in the Book of Awesome. The hair, the cap, the brazen expression, the jersey, the guns, the Chuck Taylors, and riding cross on slicks. And that’s not a fucking compact, either. Well done, my son. It is an injustice beyond comprehension that you did not become a Giant of the Road.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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Jeff in PetroMetro says:

Jan 22 2011 at 12:30 pm

@xyxax
Yeah. I didn't do a damn thing on my bike for years here. Honestly, I was scared to death of the traffic and disgusted by the sprawl.

I started racing in high school in Dallas, raced all through college in Austin (until '90), then moved to Houston in '94.

It's weirdly hot here from April through October. It's a stale, humid, still, sour, acrid, chemical burn kinda hot. Until you step off a plane in Houston in early September, you can't imagine its quality. It takes your breath away.
Jeff in PetroMetro says:

Jan 22 2011 at 1:03 pm

@Buck Rogers
I live in the shade of Downtown Houston--nowhere near San Antonio. I'm about 3 1/2 hours east of San Antonio by car.

San Antonio is pretty cool. You'll be on the southern end of the Texas Hill Country. Lots of hills, big live oak trees, limestone outcroppings, spring fed rivers. Boerne, TX is northwest of San Antonio by about 40 minutes by car. It's cool. That's where the state championship road course was for a while. To the northeast by about 100 minutes is Austin.

San Antonio is really just a city, but I like it. Once you get out of the city and into the Hill Country, it gets really nice.
xyxax says:

Jan 22 2011 at 3:01 pm

Jeff in PetroMetro:
It's a stale, humid, still, sour, acrid, chemical burn kinda hot.

Mmmmm. Texas City and an off-shore breeze.
Carbon fiber is less useful as a lung component.
Jeff in PetroMetro says:

Jan 22 2011 at 10:36 pm

@xyxax
1. When I first moved here (August of '94), I asked a person I worked with what that smell was in the air first thing every morning. His answer, "Money." Actually it was benzene.

2. About five years ago, Houston made the top of three lists in the same year: fattest city in America, worst air quality in America, and worst traffic in America.

3. There is no zoning in Houston. You can have a topless bar next to a church next to a mansion next to a crack house next to a strip mall next to a used car lot next to a school next to a freeway.

4. Two years ago, my daughter's elementary school had the 2nd highest number of confirmed cases of swine flu in any one school in America.

Come on back, xyxax. We miss you!
Buck Rogers says:

Jan 23 2011 at 8:42 am

@Jeff in PetroMetro
Thanks for the info! Doesn't sound too bad after all. Cannot wait to et there and start doing some riding in the area and figure out routes, local clubs, etc.
Jeff in PetroMetro says:

Jan 23 2011 at 1:10 pm

@Buck Rogers
San Antonio's not too bad. The tourist stuff (the Alamo, the Riverwalk) is just that--for tourists. You owe it to yourself to see what the fuss is about. But when you start to go into the Hill Country, there are some places that are pretty special.

We'll chat when you get here. I can be persuaded to drive to the Hill Country to ride. Just don't expect me to climb well for my weight.
xyxax says:

Jan 23 2011 at 2:19 pm

@Jeff in PetroMetro
Man, you know I would be there in a heartbeat, but both my napropath and herbalist recommend a low benzene environment for me. I do visit my brother in Nacogdoches every few years.
Hats off to you for making cycling work in the town of Buffalo Speedway.
Jeff in PetroMetro says:

Jan 23 2011 at 3:50 pm

Ah, Buffalo Speedway. Yeah, I guess they shot all the buffalo before I got here. Makes things safer.
Buck Rogers says:

Jan 24 2011 at 2:07 pm

@Jeff in PetroMetro
We'll see you this late summer/early fall out on the roads, then. And do not worry about the climbing wieght, I'm still about 5 kilo's over my ideal weight myself!
Jeff in PetroMetro says:

Jan 24 2011 at 7:36 pm

@Buck Rogers
See you in the fall!