Anatomy of a Photo: It’s All About the Shoes

Chucky Mottet wins the '86 Eddy Merckx Grand Prix. Photo: Winners & Champions, V5

It’s been said before, but it bears repeating: the shoes say an awful lot about the rider. More than they’d like them to in retrospect, I’m guessing. Here we have the Prophet, looking mighty dapper, congratulating the unexpected victor in the form of Charley Mottet in the Grand Prix of his own name.

A first glance at the photo reveals a few gems: we witness the first hints of the death of the Cycling Cap at the hands of one of the worst examples of a “baseball cap” in existence. We also have a Kwantum rider whom I suspect had a time of it getting comfortable on his TT bike with that rod shoved up his ass. Whatever works, although that’s more Rule #5 than I’m equipped to deal with in a productive way. The rider who got third, whom I’m assuming is Italian based on his kit and impeccable style, is the only magnificent example of a cyclist in the photo. Aside from Merckx, obviously.

And the shoes. Again I point to the Italian with my “that’s how you do it” finger, and give a brisk wag of the “oh no you di-int” thumb at the other two. Loafers for Kwantum and a pair of what-the-fucks for Chuck. Not good.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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ChrisO says:

Jun 18 2011 at 4:24 am

@Markp

Pictured at the team hacienda, in Morrocco ?
minion says:

Jun 18 2011 at 4:49 am

That bike is beautiful
Marko says:

Jun 18 2011 at 4:55 am

Chuck's hat brim surely must have one of those round silver stickers on it somewhere. You know, like the ones all the "gangstas" have.
Monty Stubble says:

Jun 18 2011 at 5:10 am

I'm intrigued by the shiny pair of black dress shoes that appear to be sharing the podium with Chuck's white pleather clogs. Who do the lurking black shoes belong to, and why is he there?
Ron says:

Jun 18 2011 at 5:14 am

Wow, what the fuck are the What the Fucks Chuck has on? They look like those rubber gardening shoes women wear.

Loafers?!

I do like all three jerseys. I do like that rad trophy with the Merckx symbol. The hat? Chuck seems to be ahead of the curve. Baseball is shitty enough as it is, but now you have all these fat dudes with flat-brimmed hats in baggy pajama pants and no socks or stirrups showing, all of which takes the sport to a new low.

Marko - I'm sure it does have a sticker. What's up with the leaving the sticker on PLUS tucking your ears into the hat? Jeez, that's a really stupid "style".

And wow some more, I didn't realize that was Merckx at first glance. Shame on me.
Ron says:

Jun 18 2011 at 5:53 am

Fignon + Chuck:
Jeez, the guns on display, plus the Gleaming Campagnolo gruppos, plus the bar tape, and those low shoulders make that one awesome photo!
Nate says:

Jun 18 2011 at 6:49 am

Ron:
And wow some more, I didn't realize that was Merckx at first glance. Shame on me.

As penance, hill repeats for you until you accumulate 5 mm Belgian Toothpaste.
frank says:

Jun 18 2011 at 9:21 am

@Monty Stubble

I'm intrigued by the shiny pair of black dress shoes that appear to be sharing the podium with Chuck's white pleather clogs. Who do the lurking black shoes belong to, and why is he there?

Indeed. I have to assume it's Bernard Hinault, carefully evaluating whether the white pleather loafers make Mottet worthy of being pushed off the podium.

You can see here that the attire of the hidden mystery man even matches Hinault's favorite podium-pushing getup.

Blazer? Check. Shiny loafters? Check. I think we have our answer.
Dr C says:

Jun 18 2011 at 11:51 am

Agree about the bad baseball cap - not a good look all

Looking at various other caps, the golf caps would make bad cycling caps too

But if you just happen to be into golf, as well as cycling, I've a smart Titleist cap on Ebay signed last month by Rory McIlroy (he's a local guy here who went to my kids' school). In a drunken moment of alpha male dinner table outbid your mate sport, at the school fundraiser auction last week, I swung my arm at the wrong moment and ended up obliged to the tune of £100 and am the owner of said cap - on Ebay the following morning in an attempt to re-coup my losses - I see he is leading the US Open by 6 shots, having shot the US Open opening 36 hole record.

Might be worth a bit more if he keeps this up....

Golf...... yawn
RedRanger says:

Jun 18 2011 at 12:53 pm

@Dr C
I'm gonna guess you won't get much love for golf around here but you might have a winner depending what happens on Sunday.

I'm just glad to see a bunch of young guys kicking the asses of the boring old farts.