I know the feeling, Laurent. Sometimes I just want to give the cross winds a big, “Fuck You”, too.
I know as well as any of you that I've been checked out lately, kind…
Peter Sagan has undergone quite the transformation over the years; starting as a brash and…
The Women's road race has to be my favorite one-day road race after Paris-Roubaix and…
Holy fuckballs. I've never been this late ever on a VSP. I mean, I've missed…
This week we are currently in is the most boring week of the year. After…
I have memories of my life before Cycling, but as the years wear slowly on…
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@minion
Bahahahahahahahaa
@minion
It's funny. Only just the other day I was thinking about New Zealanders. And then I forgot about them.
Fignon is a god to me, even more so after reading his book soon after he passed away. A true sportsman.
Fuck me, they road 53/42s. Manhood, ultimate manhood.
2 cents.
PS-Frank, fucking awesome picture. Thank you.
@minion
An Aussie, a Kiwi, and a South African are at a bar one night having a beer. All of a sudden the South African drinks his beer, takes off his diamond encrusted watch, pulls out a gun and shoots the watch to pieces. He says "In Seth Efrika we have so many diamonds that we don't need to wear the same diamond twice".The Kiwi (obviously impressed by this) drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces. He says "Wull bro, in Niw Zulland we have so much sand to make the glass that we don't need to drink out of the same cup twice".
The Australian then pulls out his gun and shoots the Kiwi
An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small town and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun.
Ventriloquist: "G'day Mate! Good looking dog, mate. Mind if I speak to him?"
New Zealander: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie."
Ventriloquist: "Hey dog, how's it going old mate?"
Dog: "Doin' alright."
New Zealander: (extreme look of shock)
Ventriloquist: "Is this Kiwi your owner?", pointing at New Zealander
Dog: "Yep"
Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play."
New Zealander: (look of disbelief)
Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
New Zealander: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either...I think."
Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool."
New Zealander: (extreme look of shock)
Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at New Zealander)
Horse: "Yep"
Ventriloquist: "How's he treating you?"
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."
New Zealander: (total look of amazement)
Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
New Zealander: "The sheep's a liar!"
When it's a kiwi we call them jokes. When it's an Aussie it's a documentary.
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for Six days. Eventually, Michael the Archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made." Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet, replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance".
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth.
"For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot."
"Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people" God continued, pointing to different countries. "And over there, I call this place America.
North America will be rich and powerful and cold, while South America will be poor, and hot and friendly. And the little spot in the middle is Central America which is a Hot spot. Can you see the balance?"
"Yes" said the Archangel, impressed by Gods work, then he pointed to a smallish land mass and asked, "What's that one?"
"Ah" said God. "That's New Zealand, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful mountains, rainforests, rivers, streams and an exquisite coast line. The people are good looking, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found traveling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace. I'm also going to give them super- human, undefeatable, strong in character citizens who will be admired and feared by all who come across them".
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then exclaimed, "You said there will be BALANCE!"
God replied wisely. "Wait until you see the buggers I'm putting next to them"
@frank
Ahahahaaaa! I think that saying has been around a lot longer than Velominati, Frank! You're not bad...
But otherwise I agree, hence (after sussing out he wasn't trolling) my reply being more educational than confrontational.
I was just becoming a fan of PRO cycling in the late 80s. I'm thrilled I can say I watched him while he was still racing, not just in archival footage.
Love photos of him in his hogwashers bibs...
Oh yeah, I know it's an advert, but some of the stuff Cancellara says is rather outstanding. The locked fingers, with him on top...awesomeness. You gotta want to win to win.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jcE4vPyyV2I
@Xponti
By the way. We have just had our Census here down under, and I marked my religion as "Velominati". What did you put down @marcus
Awww dude, you so shouldn't have. Each "fake" religion vote in the Census counts as a vote for Aus as a religious country & then contributes to organised religions receiving more govt funding to continue their touching of little boys & girls...