Anatomy of a Photo: Michelin Man

Does the Prophet make me look fat?

I’m trying my best to stay thin this winter, but I’m nowhere near where I was when it was warm and the days were long. I keep flashing back to the last time I felt genuinely skinny and declared to myself, “This time, I’ll keep it off!”

This photo is a metaphor. Winter me is on the right, Summer me is on the left. Minus the good looks and soul-crushing engine.

Also please note the whole lotta WTF that’s going on in this here photo.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

RedRanger says:

Dec 10 2014 at 6:16 pm

Somehow the Michelin Man has grown a second eye since the. And clearly The Prophet is not into cross species mating.
Mikael Liddy says:

Dec 10 2014 at 7:08 pm

@RedRanger think you'll find if you look very closely that MM's 2nd eye is running parallel with the line of the photo on the very front of his face toward the back of the photo (on what would be MM's left).
Nate says:

Dec 10 2014 at 7:27 pm

For fucks sake and for the love of all things Gallic, let us call him bt his proper name: Bibendum.
Mikael Liddy says:

Dec 10 2014 at 9:28 pm

@Nate see, this is what I think of you when you mention that word... http://www.bibendum.com.au/
Nate says:

Dec 10 2014 at 10:41 pm

@Mikael Liddy they need @frank to perform a little magic on their "about us" copy.

Apparently Bibendum's name comes from the Latin phrase, nunc nest bibendum, meaning "now it is time to drink." Here, here. Source: http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bibendum
piwakawaka says:

Dec 10 2014 at 10:57 pm

Michelin Man, was, is, will always be.
pistard says:

Dec 11 2014 at 12:20 am

Bibelobis was blazing a fatty while pulling elephant trunk skids on his fixie about a century before it was uncool. Serious bike handling skills considering his avoirdupois:
fenlander says:

Dec 11 2014 at 1:29 am

Think on of the coolest Bibs is the running one seen on the front mudguards of scary 90's 500 gp bikes(usually seen launching riders into the stratosphere);

As for the winter bulge it hasn't affected me yet despite the decline in mileage over the last couple of weeks;I'm shure christmas will change that.
rfreese888 says:

Dec 11 2014 at 1:50 am

I have been spotted sprouting a spare tire by my VMH recently.

A month off for meditation over Xmas and New Years is next.

So February will truly be the cruelest month in terms of getting back to fighting form for 2015.

Prophet looks ready to annihilate Mr. Stay-puft there.
rs_sttr says:

Dec 11 2014 at 2:01 am

It's the beers for me.