Anatomy of a Photo: Michelin Man

Does the Prophet make me look fat?

I’m trying my best to stay thin this winter, but I’m nowhere near where I was when it was warm and the days were long. I keep flashing back to the last time I felt genuinely skinny and declared to myself, “This time, I’ll keep it off!”

This photo is a metaphor. Winter me is on the right, Summer me is on the left. Minus the good looks and soul-crushing engine.

Also please note the whole lotta WTF that’s going on in this here photo.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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markb says:

Dec 11 2014 at 9:43 am

Not sure what the problem is here (apart from the fact I have to login 8 times to get to post - someone trying to tell me something?) Winter is the ideal time to get out and ride. No hiding in a bunch as the roads are clear because all the fair-weather cyclists are hiding - just you, the weather and the terrain.

If you can't face that and feel like a sissy-boy, get on the turbo trainer. 2 hours of that will numb your mind so much that you'll dream of being out in the real world.

There is no excuse for getting fat, accept you've chosen to do it and sit there stuffing your drooling gob with shit.
Ccos says:

Dec 11 2014 at 10:24 am

The Prophet looks none too thrilled to be suffering this indignity.
wiscot says:

Dec 11 2014 at 10:50 am

@SamV

There's also this terror...

He appears to be condemning the man to a life of rolling the boy in the inner tube for eternity.

Re: seasonal bloat...I was on my rollers for the first time this season. They'll burn calories, but being less enjoyable than being outside, I'll use them less. Alcohol consumption spikes for me this time of year, too. I can't ride, don't ski, what else am I supposed to do?

Thanks for posting! If the one with the Prophet wasn't weird enough, imagine that scary bastard showing up on a podium these days . . .
Carel says:

Dec 11 2014 at 11:10 am

from Wikipedia: PremiÃ¨re affiche reprÃ©sentant Bibendum par O'Galop 1898 (First appearance of bibendum man) Note the nail and glass in his drinking glass, he laughs at it while his fellow drinkers are left out of air. Always liked the image. Nunc est bibendum e.g. let's have a drink (of that Belgian recvery drink). Cheers!
geoffrey says:

Dec 11 2014 at 11:15 am

Rollers.
wiscot says:

Dec 11 2014 at 1:02 pm

@Carel

from Wikipedia: PremiÃ¨re affiche reprÃ©sentant Bibendum par O'Galop 1898 (First appearance of bibendum man) Note the nail and glass in his drinking glass, he laughs at it while his fellow drinkers are left out of air. Always liked the image. Nunc est bibendum e.g. let's have a drink (of that Belgian recvery drink). Cheers!

Damn, posters were just so cool back then, weren't they? I mean, even movie posters suck ass these days.
brett says:

Dec 11 2014 at 1:17 pm

@the Engine

Still sticking with the PoW diet here - grim.

On the upside Frank has stopped baiting me about my size in recent photographs.

If you live in the PNW please keep feeding him so that I can crush his soul on the pave in April.

Whoa! This is gonna be something to watch!
PeakInTwoYears says:

Dec 11 2014 at 2:42 pm

@brett

@the Engine

Still sticking with the PoW diet here - grim.

On the upside Frank has stopped baiting me about my size in recent photographs.

If you live in the PNW please keep feeding him so that I can crush his soul on the pave in April.

Whoa! This is gonna be something to watch!

I only just met him at the Heck of the North, but it appears that he will soon be all engine and no cargo.
extra special and bitter says:

Dec 11 2014 at 3:22 pm

The Michelin Man in more modern attire.

Hopefully I can work it off during the spring.
Mikael Liddy says:

Dec 11 2014 at 4:22 pm

hehe, while you're all whining about getting cold & adding winter weight, I'm using a dual attack of Australian summer conditions & a bout of food poisoning to ensure I'm at a weight where climbing relatively well is actually the same as climbing well!