Anatomy of a Photo: Michelin Man

Does the Prophet make me look fat?

I’m trying my best to stay thin this winter, but I’m nowhere near where I was when it was warm and the days were long. I keep flashing back to the last time I felt genuinely skinny and declared to myself, “This time, I’ll keep it off!”

This photo is a metaphor. Winter me is on the right, Summer me is on the left. Minus the good looks and soul-crushing engine.

Also please note the whole lotta WTF that’s going on in this here photo.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

Next Guest Article: V-Books of the Year - A Personal Choice »

Previous « In Memoriam: Loose Ball Bearings

View Comments

SamV says:

Dec 11 2014 at 5:24 pm

@wiscot Gladly. I work in marketing and have dabbled in advertising. I can't imagine a meeting where an idea like this was pitched and got the green light...different times, different worlds.

The worst part is, there's more of them. A quick image search for 'Michelin Man' yields a dozen or so lumpy effigies of fear itself.

Though maybe they could replace the models on the podium, as seems to have happened here.
ped says:

Dec 12 2014 at 1:43 am

Not sure about these cleats, nice blunt, tho
RedRanger says:

Dec 12 2014 at 2:34 am

@Mikael Liddy

@RedRanger think you'll find if you look very closely that MM's 2nd eye is running parallel with the line of the photo on the very front of his face toward the back of the photo (on what would be MM's left).

It was so exciting to think that MM only had one eye back then...
Ron says:

Dec 12 2014 at 8:11 am

I love having a rest after eating, even if it's not a siesta but at night. Alas, I'm going to be hungry these days. The good thing is how light you feel on the morning cross ride. And, how nice it is to eat breakfast.
gilly says:

Dec 12 2014 at 2:51 pm

WTF is skinny?
sthilzy says:

Dec 12 2014 at 3:00 pm

@gilly

WTF is skinny?

This is pretty close,
gilly says:

Dec 13 2014 at 3:03 am

@sthilzy

@gilly

WTF is skinny?

This is pretty close,

Aaah The Chicken. That is not a good look @sthilzy
Ccos says:

Dec 13 2014 at 7:00 am

@gilly

@sthilzy

@gilly

WTF is skinny?

This is pretty close,

Aaah The Chicken. That is not a good look @sthilzy

I'm suprised all those melenomas haven't killed him yet (unless they're supernumeray nipples).
gilly says:

Dec 13 2014 at 1:05 pm

@Ccos

@gilly

@sthilzy

@gilly

WTF is skinny?

This is pretty close,

Aaah The Chicken. That is not a good look @sthilzy

I'm suprised all those melenomas haven't killed him yet (unless they're supernumeray nipples).

Do chickens have nipples? Can you milk a chicken? I only learned about milking cats from " Meet the Fockers."
wiscot says:

Dec 16 2014 at 6:50 am

I won't post the chicken pic again, but I have one question: has his torso ever seen a ray of sun in his life? As for the moles, I think they're tattoos of the stars in the northern sky - which is where he was when he said he wasn't because he was somewhere else training.