Twiggo survives in 2009. Photo © Sirotti
It’s no secret that the cobbles are the domain of the big men. Look through the list of winners in Flanders and Roubaix, and you won’t find any flyweights, grimpeurs or probably anyone under 80kg. Ok, maybe lighter than that, but more likely the weight will be compacted in muscle and distributed over a shorter body than Jolly Naughty Wiggins displays here.
With the Keepers Tour locked and loaded for the Euro Spring, the anticipation of riding the roads I’ve revered for decades is building to a point that could be deemed unhealthy by outside observers. Anyone within earshot gets bombarded with “did I tell you I’m going to be riding the cobbles?”, usually met with a blank stare and a quick retreat. But after I think about the truckloads of awesome to be had riding the hallowed ground, my mind invariably wanders to the ‘what if’ scenarios. What if Il Profetta gets rattled to death and cracks? Well, it’s meant to be, it’ll be dying in its bithplace, a return to the soil from whence it was born. What if The Lion tells me to Rule #5 it and stop being a pussy? I can live with that, even welcome it (especially if we are in the bar after the ride!). But what if my over-zealousness gets the better of me and I’m sent plummeting to the ground, and my spindly Twiggo-esque limbs succumb to the stones that even the Lion’s mighty knee had to concede to? Snap, game over.
So it looks like the best preparation will be a training regime of Welli-Roubaix gravé riding, peppered with weights to build some insulating muscle. And for fuck’s sake, I’m a mountain biker, how hard can it be to ride over some rocks? Harder than I can even imagine, I’d say. I’m praying for a wet Roubaix next Spring, but only for the Pros… I won’t mind riding in dust one bit.
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View Comments
@brett
If your pins (hardly guns) are that skinny: On the bright side, at least you will have no problems with dosing up on Belgian Toothpaste due to the massive amounts of beach sand that you must have ingested over the years.
@michael
Here's the link if anyone wants to see:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/the-pepper-spraying-cop-meme
@brett
I was going to preface my comment by saying "I have no right to say this but I am going to say it anyways." Then I remembered this is the internet.
Shit no wonder I cant climb. Im 79.38 kilos.
@wiscot
Best explanation yet.
@michael
I thought it was the Mapei vomit kit.
Haha. BTW, my Uncle lives in Brussels. Has an empty nest there. Next time we're in Europe, we're bound to stop in.
To rub it in, he owns a flat in Chelsea as well. Could never afford to stay in it, but nice to know it's there.
That pic of Twiggins never fails to shock me!
Not really sure what you can do to prepare for the pave. I rode it this year for the first time; totally awesome!
Just amazing that the pros manage to ride it at such speed. Chapeau!
I think it sucks when you are bombing along on nice smooth pave' and then come to a stretch of "Idaho Department of Making My Life Miserable" chip-seal. Seriously the speed drops 2-3kph and the amount of concentration required to keep hammering at the previous rate is mentally taxing and we're talking mere chip-seal. I can only imagine what the cobbles must be like.
+1 cyclops
here in the ozarks, that shit-n-seal was more like pave' than any hillbilly would credit. For example one time I was toodling along on a 10k stretch of rough as a corn cob shitnseal and my freaking lock ring worked loose and came off, my 12 t slipped off and all of a sudden I am singlespeeding it the rest of the way home, mid cassettethe end of the freebody and I moved the chain up half way, just hoping it didn't split up on me. Soft pedaled the way home as I don't carry any lock ring tools in the ole pocket. Got home though and just shook my head.