Twiggo survives in 2009. Photo © Sirotti
It’s no secret that the cobbles are the domain of the big men. Look through the list of winners in Flanders and Roubaix, and you won’t find any flyweights, grimpeurs or probably anyone under 80kg. Ok, maybe lighter than that, but more likely the weight will be compacted in muscle and distributed over a shorter body than Jolly Naughty Wiggins displays here.
With the Keepers Tour locked and loaded for the Euro Spring, the anticipation of riding the roads I’ve revered for decades is building to a point that could be deemed unhealthy by outside observers. Anyone within earshot gets bombarded with “did I tell you I’m going to be riding the cobbles?”, usually met with a blank stare and a quick retreat. But after I think about the truckloads of awesome to be had riding the hallowed ground, my mind invariably wanders to the ‘what if’ scenarios. What if Il Profetta gets rattled to death and cracks? Well, it’s meant to be, it’ll be dying in its bithplace, a return to the soil from whence it was born. What if The Lion tells me to Rule #5 it and stop being a pussy? I can live with that, even welcome it (especially if we are in the bar after the ride!). But what if my over-zealousness gets the better of me and I’m sent plummeting to the ground, and my spindly Twiggo-esque limbs succumb to the stones that even the Lion’s mighty knee had to concede to? Snap, game over.
So it looks like the best preparation will be a training regime of Welli-Roubaix gravé riding, peppered with weights to build some insulating muscle. And for fuck’s sake, I’m a mountain biker, how hard can it be to ride over some rocks? Harder than I can even imagine, I’d say. I’m praying for a wet Roubaix next Spring, but only for the Pros… I won’t mind riding in dust one bit.
I know as well as any of you that I've been checked out lately, kind…
Peter Sagan has undergone quite the transformation over the years; starting as a brash and…
The Women's road race has to be my favorite one-day road race after Paris-Roubaix and…
Holy fuckballs. I've never been this late ever on a VSP. I mean, I've missed…
This week we are currently in is the most boring week of the year. After…
I have memories of my life before Cycling, but as the years wear slowly on…
View Comments
@DerHoggz
Amazed and confused at the same time here. Amazed that someone took a shit ton of time to think up and then assemble that two wheeled contraption. Confused as to why.
@Souleur
That, and Rule 69.
@Souleur
AWESOME STORY.
@Souleur
You too! For anyone celebrating the holiday, Happy Chow-Down Day!
It's going to be a few awesome months of anticipation & training for all you lads doing the ride! Christmas eve forever and ever.
I was just looking at Le Tour the other day at the uni library, a big photo book covering the entire history of the Tour. I couldn't believe how stocky and thick-legged many of the riders were in the 1960s and 70s. A lot more farm boys I suppose.
Those Twiggos are strange looking.
@Ron
Back then they had "real" jobs in the offseason.
@brett
First post - are you receiving me? How does he generate any power out of those twigs of wood?