Twiggo survives in 2009. Photo © Sirotti
It’s no secret that the cobbles are the domain of the big men. Look through the list of winners in Flanders and Roubaix, and you won’t find any flyweights, grimpeurs or probably anyone under 80kg. Ok, maybe lighter than that, but more likely the weight will be compacted in muscle and distributed over a shorter body than Jolly Naughty Wiggins displays here.
With the Keepers Tour locked and loaded for the Euro Spring, the anticipation of riding the roads I’ve revered for decades is building to a point that could be deemed unhealthy by outside observers. Anyone within earshot gets bombarded with “did I tell you I’m going to be riding the cobbles?”, usually met with a blank stare and a quick retreat. But after I think about the truckloads of awesome to be had riding the hallowed ground, my mind invariably wanders to the ‘what if’ scenarios. What if Il Profetta gets rattled to death and cracks? Well, it’s meant to be, it’ll be dying in its bithplace, a return to the soil from whence it was born. What if The Lion tells me to Rule #5 it and stop being a pussy? I can live with that, even welcome it (especially if we are in the bar after the ride!). But what if my over-zealousness gets the better of me and I’m sent plummeting to the ground, and my spindly Twiggo-esque limbs succumb to the stones that even the Lion’s mighty knee had to concede to? Snap, game over.
So it looks like the best preparation will be a training regime of Welli-Roubaix gravé riding, peppered with weights to build some insulating muscle. And for fuck’s sake, I’m a mountain biker, how hard can it be to ride over some rocks? Harder than I can even imagine, I’d say. I’m praying for a wet Roubaix next Spring, but only for the Pros… I won’t mind riding in dust one bit.
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I'm not going to read anything in this section either. Bastards.
Dunno, looks easy to me:
@Blah
Why are they paperboy-ing over cobbles? Doesn't that just prolong the agony?
@Nate
I figured it was sliding side to side because it's so slippery.
I believe the pic is of Johan Museeuw just after he crashed in 1998, smashing up his knee.
It's in the Arenberg, and they're really moving along when they hit it.
The pileup in the background may mean the guy side on to camera is just getting moving again. The guy to the right of screen is off his bike, which supports that.
@G'phant
Seconded.
Call the cops, someone stole Twiggo's calves.
Sweet Baby Jeebus that's an ugly photo up top!
Compare those "guns" to what you see in shots of the Badger or Kelly, the emaciation is scary. I don't care if the lesser weight makes them quicker, I can't abide a sportsman that has to look malnourished just to be competitive!
@Blah
I think you are right about that.
@Marcus, @Mikael Liddy
Look at that thigh on the Leeuw van Vlaanderen. The Twiggo twigs are a disgrace by comparison.
" And for fuck's sake, I'm a mountain biker, how hard can it be to ride over some rocks"
I am also a mountain biker, but despite years of racing in mud, there are not too many things on the planet slicker for rubber tires than mud covered uneven surfaces with something solid underneath- i.e. cobblestones!
While I am unable to attend the upcoming epic keepers' cobblefestwoodstockpalooza, I secretly have the same fear as Frank mentioned. The thought of riding over slimed covered cobbles on skinny tires scares the pavè out of me. The advice I have heard over and over from those who have made the pilgrimage to Mecca (Merckxa) is to ride fast, keep your head up, with loose elbows/arms. The more tension you have in your upper body, the more likely you are to to meet the fate of Wiggo.