Twiggo survives in 2009. Photo © Sirotti
It’s no secret that the cobbles are the domain of the big men. Look through the list of winners in Flanders and Roubaix, and you won’t find any flyweights, grimpeurs or probably anyone under 80kg. Ok, maybe lighter than that, but more likely the weight will be compacted in muscle and distributed over a shorter body than Jolly Naughty Wiggins displays here.
With the Keepers Tour locked and loaded for the Euro Spring, the anticipation of riding the roads I’ve revered for decades is building to a point that could be deemed unhealthy by outside observers. Anyone within earshot gets bombarded with “did I tell you I’m going to be riding the cobbles?”, usually met with a blank stare and a quick retreat. But after I think about the truckloads of awesome to be had riding the hallowed ground, my mind invariably wanders to the ‘what if’ scenarios. What if Il Profetta gets rattled to death and cracks? Well, it’s meant to be, it’ll be dying in its bithplace, a return to the soil from whence it was born. What if The Lion tells me to Rule #5 it and stop being a pussy? I can live with that, even welcome it (especially if we are in the bar after the ride!). But what if my over-zealousness gets the better of me and I’m sent plummeting to the ground, and my spindly Twiggo-esque limbs succumb to the stones that even the Lion’s mighty knee had to concede to? Snap, game over.
So it looks like the best preparation will be a training regime of Welli-Roubaix gravé riding, peppered with weights to build some insulating muscle. And for fuck’s sake, I’m a mountain biker, how hard can it be to ride over some rocks? Harder than I can even imagine, I’d say. I’m praying for a wet Roubaix next Spring, but only for the Pros… I won’t mind riding in dust one bit.
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View Comments
as in ....
stay calm
@Mikael Liddy
@Nate
@Marcus
Go easy on Twiggo there guys... see, the point I was making is my 'guns' are kinda similar... but put out less firepower, obviously.
@Dr C
Classic! :D
@Steampunk
Thirded, rebel scum.
@michael
These are killing me. So funny, in a holocaust sort of humor way.
@michael
I think the Lion is getting pepper sprayed because he is passively sitting somewhere that the UC Davis cop feels he shouldn't be. He is blocking a public thoroughfare and therefore "deserves" to be attacked.
Damn fine photoshopping job, by the way.
You know, I actually came around on Twiggo and Cav this year to an extent, but can we PLEASE go back to being greeted by The Prophet when we click on the homepage?
It amazes me that Wiggo took a look at his wool oversocks and said, these are not nearly tall enough. Best I get my socks to pull up through them to make up the difference.
@brett
Can't believe you thought about not bringing it. You building up tubs, or are you going with your Abrossio clinchers?
If my beloved R3 dies upon the stones, we shall make a pire of our loyal machines and allow the Lion to throw in the match. A-Merckx.
Then it will be like any other conversation you have with anyone else?
precious, frank, precious
I would just pray to the arenberg forest that mercy be applied upon the Rule V, gracefully that the bikes life at least be spared
but then again, somethings are just worth it
@brett, that is a killer photo
It goes to remind me that our PRO's suffer beyond measure, and are just a walking pile of dust sometimes, catalyzed w/calcium and some iron, for others healthy doses of CERA/EPO and speed, but for mortals, they are just starving
I always look at the prologues to see who comes in form, measuring the gap between the jersey sleeve, and upper arms...they usually gap pretty good for those who arrive in form, not to mention the sunken cheeks/eyes, and prominent maxilla bones