Perusing the Velominati Archives of Cycling Photos Liberated from the Interwebs (VACPLI), I stumbled across this little gem. I’m sure they are lovely people on the inside, but this photo showcases one of the most unflattering examples of spectators we find along the roadside of the Great Races. I’m not sure how you can be at the Queen Stage of the 2009 Tour – on the final climb no less – watching the key break led by three of the finest climbers in the world, and look quite so…constipated.
Here we have a misguided Euro hipster doing his best impression of an American Frat boy douchnozzle. Whomever decided it was cool to perch a baseball cap backwards and tilted like a yarmulke should be given a stern talking to. I can only assume this a strategy to protect the neck from flying debris. Unacceptable. Please review the three-point system immediately. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200.
The cap on what I’m guessing is a woman with unnecessarily wide shoulders letting out a Bantha call is really no better, but can be blamed on the Tour caravan that passes before the race and distributes this type of paraphernalia to fans whose judgement has been impaired by a combination of sun exposure, boredom, excitement, and copious quantities of alcohol. Nevertheless, those hats should be summarily incinerated, and all photographic evidence destroyed.
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While I truly believe you shouldn't judge a book by its cover..... I do love analysing these photo's and imagining the worst.
back facing cap = tosser frat boy douchenozzle, could possibly be an inbred
gingham sun hat = not sure if they would even hand those out from the caravan, think that one's been brought along for the ride. She's kinda cute though in that Euro way
I'm guessing the goose in the matching Caisse kit is the partner, though me thinks he may be checking out the brother's grimpeur arses
spotty cap is cool. The look of genuine awe and admiration in her (?) face is great. I'd have a similar look myself, though a bit older and more wrinkly
Mr. Adidas - probably spent quite a lot of time pondering what outfit to wear to look as sporty as possible but... fail. Love the brand, shame it has to look like this
red and black sweater tied around neck (top right) with what looks like knicks on the bottom, fuck me, that look went out in the 80's didn't it? Unless it's Barry Manilow incognito
blue and white cap, no teeth, (top middle) letting out a bantha call, guessing it may be related to back cap, possibly sister/brother and/or partner, probably both.
Male pattern baldness awareness group (front bottom group)- nice to see them sticking together but gotta remember, it's either sunscreen or hats to protect the noggin. The first one at the front of the pic does look like he may be trying to pull a condom over his head for a bet while yelling "hey Contho, this is what a dickhead looks like"
thanks frank, it's Friday after a busy week, I needed a good laugh
@minion
That's how we do casually deliberate and the three point system down this way!
I love Fred Dagg. Thoroughly ruined by moving to Strayla.
@minion
You forgot the velcro gloves
Have to agree with you there.
You know John Clark, along with Bryan Dawe, still pops up here on the ABC - 7.30 report every week night over here. Dawe is always the straight man interviewing Clarke, who usually plays a politician. Their political commentary/satire is second to none and hilarious. Brilliant man.
I met Fred Dagg (John Clarke) at an art gallery function here (Melbourne) for Kiwi contempory art recently (que Marcus for predictable Friday kiwi bashing sledge). He's even cooler in real life than on the telly.
Jeff in P - I am one of those who will be on the side of the road up the big climbs of this year's Tour maintaining high standards of viewing attire and personal grooming.
@sgt
ok, you're fishing and I'm biting. I take great umbrage at the suggestion Australians dress like Americans. I think you will find we are sartorially far superior to the mall attending masses.
To wit, please refer to one of our Australian Living Treasures, the be-suited and inestimable Sir Les Patterson. This photo is from the Australian National Portrait Gallery, no less. It is a point of personal pride that in his construction of this character,Barry Humphries chose to give Sir Les as education from the school that I attended.
Any idea on the choice of sartorial splendour? I only ask so I know what to look for
@sgt
btw ++1 on the Ruprecht inclusion.
And speaking of Cuddles, look at what landed on my door last night. Auctioning this for charity tomorrow night. Signed by all members of the 2010 Aussie World Champs team.
Sir, two things to envy about you.
Perhaps we should propose a common theme or tell tale sign, that will make the Velominati stand out in the crowd? I realise that the high standard of dress codes that will be applied by the Velominatus/ta will more than likely set one apart from the slovenly dressed general public, but imagine being able to spot the Velominati as the camera's roll by!