Anatomy of a Photo: The Four Pillars of Awesome

The mighty pillars

Whenever I send out an Out of Office reminder at work, I take special care to indicate where I’ll be, which is always Awesomeville. It amazes me how few questions this raises, but I chalk it up to it being a foregone conclusion. Imagine my surprise, then, when upon my return from Maui someone asked me where, precisely, Awesomeville was. I patiently explained that Awesomeville is anywhere within a three-meter radius of me. “As a matter of fact, you’re in Awesomeville right now.” The blank stare was a refreshing change from the puzzled bewilderment I normally encounter when I talk about my personal life at work.

Maui was incredible, with the notable exception of the deathmarch up Haleakala. In fact, it was so incredible that we experienced something I had only ever theorized was possible: The Awesomeness Singularity. This is a condition where there is so much Awesome in one location that the Awesome reaches critical mass to where no Suck at all can enter.

The photo above was taken moments before the first singularity occurred, at an incredible lookout along the West Maui Loop. It’s a good thing that no Suck could enter our space, since we had just struggled up a brutally steep incline which Gianni and his VMH danced up and had neglected to warn us about, and my right cleat was broken and fastidiously violating the Principle of Silence.

Because normally, that’s the kind of thing that would piss my shit off.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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frank says:

Feb 25 2011 at 2:54 pm

@Co-mo

The west maui loop is awesome ++. The high point of my every-other-year trip to Maui. That steep hill is called THE WALL by the wags at the bike shop in Lahina where I rented my ride.

The West Maui loop is awesome. Especially since it ends at a Brewery, which Gianni ensured it would. That man knows how to end a bike ride. In a word, "genius".
sgt says:

Feb 25 2011 at 4:07 pm

I can't see the word Awesome written that many times without thinking of this:

Delenda est Alberto
sgt says:

Feb 25 2011 at 4:08 pm

Let's try this again:
Nate says:

Feb 25 2011 at 4:46 pm

@sgt
This post is so Awesome, it showed up in my feed reader at least 12 hours before it went live.
Pedale.Forchetta says:

Feb 26 2011 at 12:42 am

The Awesomeness Singularity is a fantastic definition!
Gianni says:

Feb 26 2011 at 6:49 pm

When did this post appear?

Well, I have some video to add to this post. I had my jersey pocket-sized Flip video camera with me when we took Frank and Michelle on an abbreviated West Maui ride. It became abbreviated when Michelle let me know, in no uncertain terms that we had reached the turn around point. "F'ing Gianni!"

I wanted to show as much as possible to our Seattle friends. Michelle had prepared for this visit by not riding her bike for four months. Hilarity ensued.

Here is a bit of unedited video showing a bit of the magic that is West Maui. Shaky camera work, unexplained references, general awesomeness.
West maui view on Youtube
Steampunk says:

Feb 26 2011 at 9:36 pm

frank:
I arrived at the office this morning to a piece of paper taped over my name plate on the wall outside my office that said, "Mr. Awesome."
True story.

Which means the janitorial staff didn't show and nobody took down your post-it note?

Big props for Awesome++, though. That was awesome.
il ciclista medio says:

Feb 26 2011 at 11:19 pm

frank:

It doesn't really work that way. People who enter the sphere just get more awesome. In fact, it's not limited to just people. Anything within 3m is more Awesome. A software developer might say it's Awesome++.
I arrived at the office this morning to a piece of paper taped over my name plate on the wall outside my office that said, "Mr. Awesome."
True story.

Even more awesome than I had thought.
Dan O says:

Feb 26 2011 at 11:35 pm

The Awesomeville/Awesoneness explanation was, uh....awesome. I actually laughed out loud (the kids apparently call this LOL), which is rare from me reading something.

"Three meter radius" - funny stuff. LOL.
Ron says:

Mar 1 2011 at 1:35 am

My VMH has long wondered what I'm going on about regarding The Velominati and why I'm on the site so often. She happened to be next to me as I read the first few sentences of this post and when she heard me laughing leaned over to see what was going on. She too found Frank's intro amusing.

I think she gets it a bit more know. Welcome to Awesomeville, Caroline!