Anatomy of a Photo: Top Dog

...and now let me tell you about the time I made Roger cry.

I have it on excellent authority that life is good when you’re at the top. I myself am, of course, nowhere near the top but I felt a glimmer of it today, briefly savoring the unique palate of having some semblance of form in January. Which feels a lot like a victory over Christmas. And kicking Christmas’ ass feels pretty rad.

Then suddenly – and quite rudely, I might say – my rear axle broke, at which point the performance characteristics of my bicycle were diminished not unsubstantially. Our experience atop the peaks are brief; the journey we call life takes place primarily in the valleys and upon the slopes.

If life has taught me anything, it’s that you should feel free to grab the pompoms on any Marine’s hat anytime you please, particularly if you happen to be wearing a totally sick Molteni Alimentari jumper.

If you also happen to be Eddy Merckx and you recently had your sideburns oiled by your man-servant, then said Marines might not even celebrate your gesture by killing you.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

Teocalli says:

Jan 6 2016 at 4:53 am

@the Engine

For me it was on the Jurassic Sportive summer before last. Terrifying high speed descent in a gale crosswind, near got blown off the road. Got to the bottom of the hill ready for the next up and had a totally free free hub. Turned out the pawl spring had gone on the descent. Was in the middle of nowhere (relatively speaking) took ages to get recovered and it was a tad chilly.
PantaniForever says:

Jan 6 2016 at 5:27 am

@frank

@Ron

Turns out it wasn’t the axle but the inner bearing on the Chris King freehub exploded due to my crushing it so wicked hard. Bearings everywhere when Doug over at Branford Bike tore it apart.

I’m sure its just due to wear, but some breakages just make you feel tough!

Even if it was the axel, by the way, it really can’t go anywhere if the quick release is closed tight, so you just ride home. In my case the breakage did loosen the hub and freehub along the axle so the wheel could move around by about 1cm in either direction. Made for goofy handling, that’s for sure, but it was rideable enough. Like riding your cross bike in mud.

I'm curious what you think of the Chris King hubs? I'm looking to pay off my student debt this year and want to start hiding cash under a mattress for a new set of wheels. Shop near me wants to lace some Mavic Open Pros to Chris King R45s. I can't decide between that or the same rims with DT Swiss 240s or just being bland and getting a set of mavic Ksyriums of some variety. I'm not looking to carbone at this point in time.
the Engine says:

Jan 6 2016 at 6:02 am

@PantaniForever

@frank

@Ron

Turns out it wasn’t the axle but the inner bearing on the Chris King freehub exploded due to my crushing it so wicked hard. Bearings everywhere when Doug over at Branford Bike tore it apart.

I’m sure its just due to wear, but some breakages just make you feel tough!

Even if it was the axel, by the way, it really can’t go anywhere if the quick release is closed tight, so you just ride home. In my case the breakage did loosen the hub and freehub along the axle so the wheel could move around by about 1cm in either direction. Made for goofy handling, that’s for sure, but it was rideable enough. Like riding your cross bike in mud.

I’m curious what you think of the Chris King hubs? I’m looking to pay off my student debt this year and want to start hiding cash under a mattress for a new set of wheels. Shop near me wants to lace some Mavic Open Pros to Chris King R45s. I can’t decide between that or the same rims with DT Swiss 240s or just being bland and getting a set of mavic Ksyriums of some variety. I’m not looking to carbone at this point in time.

DT Swiss are the tits but it's probably down to personal choice, aesthetics and budget
Ron says:

Jan 6 2016 at 7:57 am

Paying off your student debt? You'd better be a lot older, as that is a dream that won't come true for quite awhile.

DT Swiss just did me a solid yesterday. Couldn't find the spoke nipples I was after anywhere in the U.S., called them and they agreed to sell them to me. Nice! 2nd wheelset in a few months and will get the steed to the shape/look I'm after. Can't wait, been wanting to update this wheelset for 5 years.

And wow, while breaking parts is never fun, at least a hub explosion that is rideable ain't so bad, as it confirms your draft horse strength! It sucks when you think "Ahh, I have all the bikes in tip-top shape, can't wait for months of focussed riding..." And then something blows up. Oh well, I guess it happens when you ride all the time. Stuff breaks. Even nice stuff, as demonstrated by a King hub failure.
frank says:

Jan 6 2016 at 9:20 am

@litvi

@frank

I’m sure its just due to wear, but some breakages just make you feel tough!

Rule #65! I knew it! So busted.

Although, I guess I can’t throw stones. I once had to call a sibling from a golf course payphone for a ride home on account of a broken chain. This was many years ago, when I was lad, before multi-tools including pin drivers of course. Plus the payphone reference should lend a hint of ‘back when’ that absolves me to some extent.

A pay whatnow?

And it wasn't Rule #65 violation, it was pure, unabated pooooowwwwwaaaaaaaaahhh!
frank says:

Jan 6 2016 at 9:25 am

@Joe Cline

Form in January? Lest thee be a cross specialist: “Small gears in January, big gears in June. Big gears in January, nothing in June.”

Having form and riding big gears are two different things. I won't switch from my 53x39 to my 66x54 until May.
frank says:

Jan 6 2016 at 9:30 am

@the Engine

Please see above.

@PantaniForever

@frank

@Ron

Turns out it wasn’t the axle but the inner bearing on the Chris King freehub exploded due to my crushing it so wicked hard. Bearings everywhere when Doug over at Branford Bike tore it apart.

I’m sure its just due to wear, but some breakages just make you feel tough!

Even if it was the axel, by the way, it really can’t go anywhere if the quick release is closed tight, so you just ride home. In my case the breakage did loosen the hub and freehub along the axle so the wheel could move around by about 1cm in either direction. Made for goofy handling, that’s for sure, but it was rideable enough. Like riding your cross bike in mud.

I’m curious what you think of the Chris King hubs? I’m looking to pay off my student debt this year and want to start hiding cash under a mattress for a new set of wheels. Shop near me wants to lace some Mavic Open Pros to Chris King R45s. I can’t decide between that or the same rims with DT Swiss 240s or just being bland and getting a set of mavic Ksyriums of some variety. I’m not looking to carbone at this point in time.

Friends don't let friends ride Ksyriums.

I love my CK's - I've got a newish set on my V-Wheels, love them. These that blew out are very old, as in V or six years and other than this little mishap, they are still smooth as silk. The ratchet mechanism in their hubs is second to non, and the engagement is so quick every other wheel I have feels soggy on initiation. Both my main road bikes (the nine bike and the #1) have CK hubs, different models. I think the #1 below has 45's.

That said, I spun a set of DT Suisse 180 ceramics over at Branford and they felt so smooth it was like they were sitting on a magnetic field, not a bearing.
frank says:

Jan 6 2016 at 10:35 am

One day I'll sit down with Fabian and show him how to properly apply some power to the pedals.
Gianni says:

Jan 6 2016 at 11:05 am

@frank

Is that blackened, incinerated, by the Frank-V? Awesome.
Bruce Lee says:

Jan 6 2016 at 11:08 am

Talk of broken axles reminded me of this photo. Sucks when that extra-light bit gives up the ghost when you least expect it.