I kind of like the fact that I still have to look up what number certain Rules are. Some stick in my mind, usually due to their relevance to my everyday riding and living situation. That’s how I could justify hairy legs over a ride-barren winter, loose-fitting (I refuse to call them baggy) shorts for gravé…
As far as Cycling and racing iconography goes, Paris-Roubaix sits at the very zenith. It’s the most revered race among fans not only because of the pavé and the punishment it hands out, but there’s also the traditional finish of the race in the old velodrome, and what are possibly the most photographed showers anywhere in…
Rule #33 has to be one of the most discussed, deconstructed and divisive of all the Rules. I suppose there’s something about grown men who are non-professional cyclists taking a razor to their pins that brings out some strong emotions and it never fails to generate conversation and opinion. But really, who cares what someone else does…
Cycling is made up of hundreds of minute details, forming a larger entity which is generally simplified and viewed as the intrinsically simple act of riding––or racing––a bicycle. Getting on and pedalling, fast, may be the crux of winning the Tour, Roubaix, or the local B grade crit, but if it is held as the most important aspect, then…
Sylvester wasn’t happy with his second shot at the 13th. “I say, I’ve blimmin well hooked that one tewwibly to the left, old chap.” “Oh yes, made a right hash of it, a real dog’s breakfast” chimed in Roderick, his live-in help, part-time caddy and full-time lover. “Let me get that for you, I don’t…
Diego Ulissi did us all a service on stage 4 of the Giro. Not only did he win in the best way possible for a rouleur with a sprint – by not having to sprint – he timed his attack so perfectly that he only had time for a split-second salute, and an even quicker…
“A fine suit is only as good as its lining” once said someone more versed in the art of the clothier than me. They didn’t actually, I just made that up. But it sounds like it could be something that an Italian tailor would say, but I’ve never met one of those either. The point…
Tradition and innovation sit mostly comfortably alongside each other in Cycling. The bicycle itself is inherently a very simple machine, the basic design of which has remained the same for centuries; frame, two wheels, cranks, saddle, handlebars. It’s what has been done to these elements along the way that has shaped what the modern road…
Can you feel that? That itchy, twitchy feeling… that’s anticipation, it’s expectation, it’s Belgian fucking racing fever! You know you’ve got it, and you can’t fight it, you don’t want to fight it, you need it bad because it’s been way too long. Some may call it Spring Fever, Cobblebone, or Kassientitis. It manifests itself deep in…
I never used to get injured. I could ride all day on hardly any water or food, under the Australian sun with nary a squirt of sunscreen, drink four beers directly after and then go and DJ and dance til the wee hours of the next morning without stretching or any form of ‘warming down’. To me,…
Kids are assholes. Kids are also sensitive and vulnerable, and the two extremes are usually not found together in the one vessel. When you’re a kid, or more specifically a young teenager, being skinny (or conversely, overweight) can be somewhat testing for a developing brain. Processing jibes and deflecting taunts from meatheads and low-rent bullies…
Returning to your roots can be both a rewarding and sobering experience. The nostalgia one feels for the halcyon days of youth, the memories of carefree times in the sun with the only concern to make it home in time for dinner, the hidden alleyways and secret spots where the bike would take you and…
Going against the grain is something I think I’ve been doing with some degree of success for a good portion of my existence. A lot of people look at my life with a kind of disdain, mixed with a hint of envy and a dash of bemusement; how could I not have a wife/kids/mortgage and…
Modern society is pretty much fucked. The world is made up of vacuous, self-centered morons brainwashed by the internet and mainstream media, who in turn are no more than puppets of .ooo1% of the population who own 99% of the wealth and pull the strings of every major government, bank, business and institution. 1984 is a…
Outside of East Flanders, little is known of Bart Vanacker’s elder half-brother Fons. Around the streets of Ronse, however, The Fons was a regular sight, well-dressed, perfect hair with a beaming smile and “hallo!” for everyone whose path he would cross on his daily walk to Fons’ Flandrien Farming outlet, the business he’d established in 1974 in…
It’s still a month away. You’ve got plenty of base. If those words were being spoken about an upcoming DJ set, then I’d probably not take them completely with a grain of salt. When they are in reference to a 160km event with a shitload of hills, and the sum total of post-KT riding can…
Belgium has a host of great names, and not just for Cyclists. Riding past a farm equipment outlet or workshop after Keepers Tour 15 had been consigned to the history books, I was taken by the name Bart Vanacker so much that I commented to William that I was seriously considering changing my own handle to…
You can never have too much Muur. It’s a proven scientific fact that too little Muur can be detrimental to a Cyclist’s state of mind, even if they have never ridden the most iconic climb in Flanders. And if they have, then the withdrawals are something not to be taken lightly. Every so often we…
Cycling is all about energy. If you don’t have it, you don’t have it. It can be sucked out of you as quickly as a Dyson sucks up dust. Even on those days when you feel a million bucks, use your energy unwisely and you’ll be spat out the back and struggling to make a piece of…
If the best things in life are free, Messrs Lennon and McCartney must’ve just been given a huge bag of top-grade cocaine and were off their little chops when they wrote that one. There are plenty of great things in life that are free, the outdoors, mountains, air, but no-one is giving away bicycles, cocaine or…