I awoke Sunday morning to the sound of the driving rain on the windows, buffeted by gusts of wind. I got up, made myself a double espresso, and called to the dogs for their walk. Smackimus, the mutt who embodies Rule #5 in everything he does, came bounding down the stairs. Beene, the lummoxy Great Dane, followed…
Author: frank
The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking.
As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it.
Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen.
Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.
We met by chance, or so it seems. I suppose there really is no such thing as “chance”. I was ready for it, and it was there. I wasn’t really looking but, you see, it had been a while since I’d been happy. I’d even strayed about some, trying a bit of this and a bit…
Robots. Automatons. Modern professional cyclists. I am tempted to say these three terms are interchangeable, but I know that’s not right because a “robot” endeavors to convey the impression that it acts of it’s own intent, whereas automatons and professional cyclists are merely self-operating machines. It is difficult for a Velominatus to look at old cycling…
I remember two principle things from the 2007 Men’s Elite Road Race. First, my favorite rider at the time, Danilo Di Luca, was barred from starting due to his implication in the Oil for Drugs doping investigation. Second, there was a controversy over the fact that Paolo Bettini had refused to sign the UCI’s Code…
Americans, I think, generally feel they play just on the far side of the boundaries; that perhaps history doesn’t apply to us. We are quick to forget the past and our sights are always focused away from today and towards tomorrow. We are a country who feels it deserves it’s place in the World Order…
We gather here today to pay our respects to one of the icons of our great sport, the cycling cap. The perfect union of form and function and an excellent example of why the former follows the latter, and why together they are beautiful. The brim is just long enough to shield the eyes from the elements,…
It’s funny how malleable our definition of “local” becomes when emotion gets involved. Seattle is a fiercely independent town where “local” is meant to imply your immediate neighborhood and we struggle to consider people who inhabit a community less than a kilometer away to be little less than an étranger. On the other hand, I have yet to meet a cyclist in…
This picture makes me think, “There’s a right way to ride the cobbles, and a wrong way.” Those riders who have raced on the cobbles of Flanders and Northern France will tell you that riding the stones fast takes a “something” that can’t be taught. The trick seem to be finding a subtle space between…
I have to admit, until BigRingRiding bestowed upon us the honor of gracing their site with our humble image, I had never heard the term “Inhaling a Wasp” being used as a climbing tactic. My Great Aunt once swallowed a wasp; she was rather portly and since I think the wasp might have been in her…
For Danish cycling, before Bjarne Riis, there was Rolf Sørensen*. Before Rolf Sørensen, there was Ole Ritter. Ritter was a badass, a champion, rode Bianchis for Bianchi. He had himself built the lightest bike available at the time, by a company that specialised in making the most badass handlebar tape in the history of this…
It only takes the most cursory glance through the Lexicon to realize that we have a special love for nicknames here at Velominati. I’m not sure what it is that compels us to call things by some made-up name instead of the actual ones; it almost seems like we’re bragging that we know something well…
Until I started wearing the sacred threads of the V-Kit, I believed firmly that Assos produced the finest clothes in cycling. Their winter clothes are toasty-warm and lack the bulk of most winter garb, while no epidermal cell has ever been lost to chaffing while wearing a pair of FI.13 bibs. For a company who…
Laurent Fignon passed away today at the age of 50, after suffering from cancer for several years. Fignon was an amazing rider, and a true all-rounder. He won year-round, in stage races, time trials, and one-day classics. His victories include wins in the Giro as well as the Tour, and classics like La Fleche and…
There are several moments in my childhood when I realized the bike held a more meaningful place in my life than the other fancies and desires one experiences growing up; those instants that somehow stand out from the others in the endless stream of memories that hold greater significant than the rest. One such moment…
Brett’s article on the the 1995 Worlds set the standard of quality in our fledgling Anatomy of a Photo series. The great tale he had to tell of watching it from Spain, the artifacts of mid-90’s racing such as the neon colors and handlebar attachments, to say nothing of the identification of Oliviero Rincon (who, I believe may…
I always strongly consider observations from anyone willing to wave a 44 Magnum in people’s faces. As such, I’ve always appreciated Dirty Harry‘s recommendation that a man know his limitations. For example, I can appreciate that I am not an elegant creature and it is best if I avoid sports involving hand-eye coordination. I’ve also noted that…
Performance-enhancing methods. This is a term we hear so often in cycling; it refers to the practice of using products or processes that elevate your performance beyond what you could naturally do. It is a terribly complicated matter for the fans, and I can only speculate as to how complicated it is for the professionals…
Posting on the Tour de Blast, Bob asked if any of us were doing the Climb of Death up Cougar Mountain in Issaquah, WA, a climb locals refer to as “Zoo Hill”. Like an idiot, I registered, and have set about preparing for the event by doing very little training and blocking the event from my…
Helmets became mandatory in professional road racing in 2003, following the tragic death of Andei Kivilev from head injuries sustained in a fall during Paris-Nice. With the adoption of that regulation died one of the most iconic images of professional cycling: the racer riding over the high mountain passes of Europe with their eyewear perched…
It’s a good question, this: who in their right mind would willfully hurt themselves doing something they “enjoy”? I’m guessing psychologists have a word for this type of behavior, and I’m not afraid to assume it’s not a flattering one. Indeed, we are all of us completely nuts. When I’m not filing TPS Reports, it’s my job to help…