Two means to the same end: Winning. Photo: @Bianchi Denti
Belgium has a host of great names, and not just for Cyclists. Riding past a farm equipment outlet or workshop after Keepers Tour 15 had been consigned to the history books, I was taken by the name Bart Vanacker so much that I commented to William that I was seriously considering changing my own handle to Bart. It’s just more… hard. And the fact that explaining j’mapelle Brett to the French or the Belge is an exercise in vowel movements considerably more tedious and painful than any constipated goings-on at the other end of the spectrum (an anagram of rectums, after all) seemed to make more than a bit of sense.
That would still leave the most un-Belgian surname of Kennedy, which unfortunately doesn’t end in a C or K or a combination thereof. Those letters make up probably 99% of Flandrien monickers, almost always tacked onto the end, just sitting there waiting to be joined and punctuated by an X. It’s a letter that’s more than a little maligned in the English language, but celebrated by the Flemish and in good supply. Sticking an X on an English name will either make it complete, or completely ridiculous.
Among the KT crew were a couple of perfect platforms to awesomise with the 24th letter. @harminator would soon become Rickx, and not just because of his tenacious, numerous and not-entirely futile attacks. He smashed the cobbles and climbed the bergs like Merckx. Frank easily was transformed into Strackx, not so much for his two-wheeled exploits but for the way he piloted the big white van on the motorways like a louder, taller and plainer-looking version of Ickx. International playboy, maybe, but not quite in the same league. Mikey became Micky because William couldn’t quite grasp the concept, so naturally he evolved into Mickx, a serendipitous hybrid of Merckx and Ickx.
Unfortunately, there seems very few avenues to successfully adding an X to my name, and changing it costs more than X amount of dollars. Best to leave Belgian Affirmations to real Belgians.
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Hells bells fellas, can't believe no-one's posted this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLp8ZGAUP4Q
Or this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvASPrrwve4
Damn, F1 was so much cooler in the age of Merckx and Ickx.
Brilliant, if only adding an X to your name would make one faster, there'd be letter doping galor.
This is like a Flanderian version of the Onion's piece about an emergency vowel deployment to Bosnia.
Penax ... I dunno ... just doesn't seem quite right.
Peñarello, however, does have a bit of a ring to it.
That Ickx / Merckx video. Oh, isn't it glorious to see the Prophet in the Rainbow Jersey? Such a wonderful moment... only to be spoiled by a blatant violation of Rule #65.
All is not lost however, so before we get into a big discussion about whether Pro or Prophet transcends The Rules, let me say this: I took note of how the Prophet was having a hard time walking a trade show (aggravating his back and hip injury) and that was 20 years ago. So I'm pretty sure the second violation (#69, as seen in the final shot) wasn't his choice.
This seems to affirm my suspicion that the Prophet would never choose to lay the bike down; it must have been some douchebag film director who thought it would "look cool." And probably did it while the Prophet wasn't looking. I mean, come on - to lay it down is bad enough. But on its drive side? Such disrespect. It's saddening.
Well, as a director not only did the douchebag get it horribly wrong, but he missed the killer shot: the Prophet's bike stood nonchalantly against the side of the race car - buddies or what?!
@Mark Elliott
And imagine how conflicted the bike's owner must be (presuming the Prophet didn't pull one from his own stable). "Holy shit! The Prophet is on my vintage... Holy shit I'mma kill the SOB who laid it down!"
Ickx. Again. Sportscar superstar. Not well thought of amongst his fellow F1 drivers in that period of losing too many compatriots to lack of safety precautions (which have now been carried a bit too far to the point of boredom). While they threatened strike, he fired up his car and prepared to go out for practice. Admirable? In a sense. A warrior, yes. But these were times of horror & needed change. Williamson, Cevert, et al. To this day I'm conflicted. But he was a stud no matter what. On a par with anyone else, no matter the discipline. He was born with the "kx" moniker, but it was well-deserved.
@Joe
There was a small, very sobering room in the Ickx side of the exhibition. It had a half burned helmet on a plinth in the centre while the surrounding walls listed, by year, the names of men killed in motor sport accidents. There hundreds every year. I don't know what the motor sport equivalent of VLVV is but its force must be very strong.
Nice work Brett. But X isn't the 23rd letter. Its the 10th numeral.