I must admit to not having read most of the cycling memoirs in the Works. I may eventually but the local public library doesn’t carry any of them and never will so I’ll have to buy them or ask Frank to tote everything he has to Hawaii. I did get off my wallet and buy these two and it was money well spent. David Millar and Tyler Hamilton have produced two excellent cycling books, parallel stories in very general terms and times. The contrast of how two people in similar straits handle the truth and the divergent roads it puts them on is compelling.
Doping in professional cycling is still secretive enough that it is best told from someone all the way on the inside. Journalists will be lied to by cyclists. Federal grand juries do better at getting the truth but we usually don’t hear it. Cyclists who lived the lie and need to unburden themselves make a good conduit. I can’t begin to explain it as well as Tyler or David did; their inner world of professional cycling is nothing we hear much about. In the 1990s it was the wild west where the law was absent. Spanish “doctors”, syringes and mini-centrifuges ruled the day. It’s such a huge subject, too interwoven with passion and pressure, so much grey area. For a person like me who likes to talk about doping in black and white, I’ve learned how institutionalized and insidious it was (past tense, I hope). It’s not so simple. It’s tragic. To feed the young ambitious athlete into a system where there is no choice but to accept the drug system is criminal. When money is at stake and the UCI is complicit, as is team management, those are some criminals.
Racing Through the Dark-by David Millar. I’ll also admit to being a long time admirer of David Millar. He has always been well- spoken and not afraid to confront, two qualities I admire and personally lack, but they make a good writer. Millar is a military brat who found his cycling talent in the 10 mile British time trial club races. He ended up living his dream, riding on the Cofidis team, France’s well- funded but dysfunctional squad. He spent his first few years with Cofidis riding clean, yet watching how others “prepared”.
“In my youthful exuberance, I was telling anybody who would listen that I’d won in De Panne and broken the course record with a hematocrit of only 40 percent. I went to see Casagrande and his roommate, whom I refer to as L’Équipier (the teammate), so that I could show Casagrande the test results.
I stood there, a big grin on my face, expecting Casagrande to congratulate me and say something morale boosting. But he didn’t. After a pause, he handed the results back to me and then turned to speak to his roommate in Italian.
“Perché non é a cinquate?” Casagrande asked L’Équipier, puzzled, Why isn’t he at fifty?
No one talked about doping and no one talked about not doping. Eventually, after VDB self-destructed and Casagrande was busted, Millar became a team leader. And with that mantle came the responsibility to produce results, be a professional. And eventually he was implicated by a teammate, evidence was found, he was out of cycling, deeply in debt, and drinking his way to the bottom.
For some interesting video here is a recent Spanish documentary from the inner ring.
The Secret Race-by Tyler Hamilton and Daniel Coyle. Tyler Hamilton and I grew up in the same end of Massachusetts, he went to the same prep school @rob and I dropped out of, so I always felt slightly connected to him. So I was a fan boy and stood by his fantastic excuses for too long.
The whole wretched story of doping in cycling is right here. Tyler Hamilton cheated and lied for so long, it took until 2011 before he could tell his parents the truth. And despite his decade of lying, this book rings true. His reward was getting out from under the lie. I think he would have written the book for free just for the unburdening. He states many times the lightness of being after testimony and though he knows it’s very unlikely, hopes Lance can feel the same lightness that comes from telling the truth. This book is Tyler Hamilton’s story but it is closely linked to part of the Armstrong saga.
Like Millar, Hamilton was unaware of systemic drug use until he had joined the professional ranks. US Postal drugs were at first team- provided and paid for. Once you proved yourself as one of the best riders on the team, as someone who could help Lance win the Tour, you earned the right to use EPO. It is fascinating reading, it’s horrifying, it’s depressing. Most unsettling is Lance Armstrong’s behavior. There are many revelations regarding Armstrong’s psychotic need to win. I’ll share just this one.
Tyler was eased out of US Postal because he was too strong a rider and perceived as a threat to Armstrong. So Tyler left and signed with Phonak in 2004. There was a time trial up Mont Ventoux in the 2004 Dauphiné Libéré weeks before the Tour de France. Tyler beat Lance in the TT. Later during the Tour, Floyd Landis, who was still riding for US Postal rode along side Tyler.
“You need to know something”
I pulled in closer. Floyd’s Mennonite conscience was bothering him.
“Lance called the UCI on you,” he said. “He called Hien, after Ventoux. Said you guys and Mayo were on some new shit, told Hien to get on you. He knew they’d call call you in. He’s been talking shit nonstop. And I think it’s right that you know.”
This little story is amazing for many different reasons and the only good one is Floyd Landis telling it to Tyler. I’m guilty of saying some negative things about Floyd, mostly because he was such an idiot liar. But at a point, when he has nothing to gain and he has lost everything else and he starts telling the truth, he gains back my respect, just like Tyler Hamilton has.
I ended up reading these books one right after the other. As I said before, I recommend them both. David Millar is a better writer. He actually has more demons to battle than Hamilton so his story of redemption is inspiring. Tyler Hamilton’s story is more depraved (in a doping sense) but both books are important. A lot of people in cycling are now admitting to past deeds in very unspecific terms. These two authors are both shining lights into some dark corners and making the inevitability of drug use in cycling more human and understandable. Also, in reading these books back to back, it highlights the contrast in how these two people dealt with their fates.
Both had the bad luck to be nearly singled out as dopers when a large percent of the riders were dopers. Millar realized it was the doping that killed his passion for even riding a bike. He took no joy in his EPO-assisted victories, only a temporary satisfaction that the task at hand was completed. He decided to come clean and to become an advocate for clean racing and changing the corrupt system.
Hamilton could not admit to anyone but his wife (who already knew) that he had been a cheat. His lie was so crushing he couldn’t even see a way out. He then spent all his money and energy protecting the lie for years, for nothing, obviously. It was the threat of perjury in that finally broke open the dam. It’s a cruel lesson to learn; the truth will set you free, even if it takes forever.
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I have t say that at this pint I couldn't really give shit anymore whether Big Mig doped or not. That whole era, whatever, it's done and gone. And I'm sure that at some point I'll probably fire up you tube after a few beers and watch Pharmy, Jan and Il Pirata ride up mountains at speeds that I couldn't even descend at.
I am however fucking livid with the cunts who are trying to brush all of this under the carpet, McQuaid, the rest of the UCI, Sammy Scumbag (regardless of whether he might actually be clean) and Big Mig for failing to comprehend where the sport is at today.
I'm also fucking pissed off with Sky for their ridiculously inflexible attitude. It's completely unhelpful.
@Chris
I have to say that at this point... I've not been drinking, yet. That depends on how hard it is to swap out a compact for a standard chainset.
@Chris
ROFL! I was not sure whether that was a mistake or a Freudian slip but seeing as I am long a few beers (2 days to the ankle operation and therefore on a farewell tour of Stella..) I nearly pissed myself at that one.
More seriously though, I am not sure you are staring down the barrel of retribution or reconciliation any time soon. Not because of the UCI, the riders, the past riders, the journos, the mechanics, the tea ladies or the girls that slept with the fans that slept with the riders wives who slept with the riders all telling their stories........more just because it is "out of season" for those of us who are either injured or do not CX. In political parlance...it is silly season...and it will probably last until January.
My suggestion, learn to love it, or take 2 EPO and call me in the morning :)
(apologies for the emoticon....I must learn to stop doing that!)
@Deakus
Yup, wee Bob from Glasgow. I'm sure he would have told Lance where to go if asked to dope in no uncertain terms. Pretty damn sure Obree would have told COTHO the same. Stellar characters both of them. I dream of what Millar would have achieved in a modern, clean era with a decent team and manager. Obree could have been king of the TTs and likely more too given his bloody-mindedness and willingness to suffer.
@Chris
I concur! There's nothing that encourages people to tell the truth like threatening them with the sack! But unfortunately Brailsford has painted himself into a corner with his high and mighty policy of only employing clean staff. The fact that he then bypassed it when he thought no one was looking has just made him more determined to not get caught with dopers again. I think that's pride fucking with him.
Why not ask them to tell the truth, publicise it no matter how bad it is (that would get me back on the side of Team Sky), and then support them to move forward in a clean environment?? With his current plan, he will either end up with a lot of liers or a lot of vacancies!
Does anyone, anywhere believe that Wiggo would be fired if he admitted to doping in a confidential interview? Absolutely not. (I don't think he doped - I'm just offering a possibility.)
@Chris
Don't want to be confrontational so this response is not personal, my opinion is the opposite in that for it all to move forward, I think get rid of anyone with ties to doping, otherwise there is always doubt? There is always a story for the rabid cycling media, and now the general media, to savage our sport with as long as someone with doping history is tied to the sport. I mean, when the USADA thing broke and it became apparent doping in cycling would start selling copy, the dailys and net sites basically went on a search for the history of everyone in Sky in order to try to find someone with a doping history, in contravention of Sky's policy, in order to sell papers or clicks.
It would be a shame to lose all the experience, and in cases it would be people forced to dope, and there would be sad personal stories of people turning their back on doping and promoting clean cycling. But there will always be doubt if people with such history are involved.
That is my opinion, but I don't think it will come to pass. People with history will always be involved, administrators will always be questionable, and doping will move from what it is currently, to something else that is not catchable. I think this will just be a cycle, to be repeated. the sport is too hard and rewards for success too great for people to not try to find another edge. Sure, the top teams may be able to stay clean, but there will always some muppet that gets caught doing something illegal to keep up.
And I find it strange how so many past cyclists are revered universally despite their questionable histories or proven doping history and the less advanced testing in the past. IMO for example Hamilton doesn't become a better cyclist by tellng all in a book. At best he comes level on a moral redemption, but he still was part of the problem. Pantani, Mercx etc etc..
Merckx dammit
@Beers Don't worry, it's not taken as personal at all, but I can't disagree with you more, my view is that if you provide only one route for anyone with a past they will feel that their only choice is to do anything to avoid exposure. Offer them a second chance, albeit with sanctions up front and on the condition that they co-operate in broadening the picture, they'll most likely make the most of it.
Hamilton didn't become a better cyclist by telling all but he became a better cyclist than one who'd doped, kept quiet or intimidated others to maintain his secrete and refused to acknowledge that he'd doped even when there was nothing left to cling to to show that he hadn't.
Yes agree with @Chris. I do understand the other point of view, but I'm convinced Truth and Reconcilliation is the way forward. It's hard enough for ex pro cyclists as it is without teams like Sky getting all puritanical and saying you can't work for them if you've ever had any connection with doping. I hope guys like Sean Yates and Servais Knaven are clean, but if not, there's no need to chuck them on the scrap heap given, the history of the sport that we've been discussing for ten fucking pages. The Garmin / Slipstream approach is much more enlightened.
@wiscot
Totally agree!
The look on LA's face on the podium at any time, it does not look like the face of a genuine, happy, winner!