Book Reviews: Racing Through the Dark, The Secret Race
I must admit to not having read most of the cycling memoirs in the Works. I may eventually but the local public library doesn’t carry any of them and never will so I’ll have to buy them or ask Frank to tote everything he has to Hawaii. I did get off my wallet and buy these two and it was money well spent. David Millar and Tyler Hamilton have produced two excellent cycling books, parallel stories in very general terms and times. The contrast of how two people in similar straits handle the truth and the divergent roads it puts them on is compelling.
Doping in professional cycling is still secretive enough that it is best told from someone all the way on the inside. Journalists will be lied to by cyclists. Federal grand juries do better at getting the truth but we usually don’t hear it. Cyclists who lived the lie and need to unburden themselves make a good conduit. I can’t begin to explain it as well as Tyler or David did; their inner world of professional cycling is nothing we hear much about. In the 1990s it was the wild west where the law was absent. Spanish “doctors”, syringes and mini-centrifuges ruled the day. It’s such a huge subject, too interwoven with passion and pressure, so much grey area. For a person like me who likes to talk about doping in black and white, I’ve learned how institutionalized and insidious it was (past tense, I hope). It’s not so simple. It’s tragic. To feed the young ambitious athlete into a system where there is no choice but to accept the drug system is criminal. When money is at stake and the UCI is complicit, as is team management, those are some criminals.
Racing Through the Dark-by David Millar. I’ll also admit to being a long time admirer of David Millar. He has always been well- spoken and not afraid to confront, two qualities I admire and personally lack, but they make a good writer. Millar is a military brat who found his cycling talent in the 10 mile British time trial club races. He ended up living his dream, riding on the Cofidis team, France’s well- funded but dysfunctional squad. He spent his first few years with Cofidis riding clean, yet watching how others “prepared”.
“In my youthful exuberance, I was telling anybody who would listen that I’d won in De Panne and broken the course record with a hematocrit of only 40 percent. I went to see Casagrande and his roommate, whom I refer to as L’Équipier (the teammate), so that I could show Casagrande the test results.
I stood there, a big grin on my face, expecting Casagrande to congratulate me and say something morale boosting. But he didn’t. After a pause, he handed the results back to me and then turned to speak to his roommate in Italian.
“Perché non é a cinquate?” Casagrande asked L’Équipier, puzzled, Why isn’t he at fifty?
No one talked about doping and no one talked about not doping. Eventually, after VDB self-destructed and Casagrande was busted, Millar became a team leader. And with that mantle came the responsibility to produce results, be a professional. And eventually he was implicated by a teammate, evidence was found, he was out of cycling, deeply in debt, and drinking his way to the bottom.
For some interesting video here is a recent Spanish documentary from the inner ring.
The Secret Race-by Tyler Hamilton and Daniel Coyle. Tyler Hamilton and I grew up in the same end of Massachusetts, he went to the same prep school @rob and I dropped out of, so I always felt slightly connected to him. So I was a fan boy and stood by his fantastic excuses for too long.
The whole wretched story of doping in cycling is right here. Tyler Hamilton cheated and lied for so long, it took until 2011 before he could tell his parents the truth. And despite his decade of lying, this book rings true. His reward was getting out from under the lie. I think he would have written the book for free just for the unburdening. He states many times the lightness of being after testimony and though he knows it’s very unlikely, hopes Lance can feel the same lightness that comes from telling the truth. This book is Tyler Hamilton’s story but it is closely linked to part of the Armstrong saga.
Like Millar, Hamilton was unaware of systemic drug use until he had joined the professional ranks. US Postal drugs were at first team- provided and paid for. Once you proved yourself as one of the best riders on the team, as someone who could help Lance win the Tour, you earned the right to use EPO. It is fascinating reading, it’s horrifying, it’s depressing. Most unsettling is Lance Armstrong’s behavior. There are many revelations regarding Armstrong’s psychotic need to win. I’ll share just this one.
Tyler was eased out of US Postal because he was too strong a rider and perceived as a threat to Armstrong. So Tyler left and signed with Phonak in 2004. There was a time trial up Mont Ventoux in the 2004 Dauphiné Libéré weeks before the Tour de France. Tyler beat Lance in the TT. Later during the Tour, Floyd Landis, who was still riding for US Postal rode along side Tyler.
“You need to know something”
I pulled in closer. Floyd’s Mennonite conscience was bothering him.
“Lance called the UCI on you,” he said. “He called Hien, after Ventoux. Said you guys and Mayo were on some new shit, told Hien to get on you. He knew they’d call call you in. He’s been talking shit nonstop. And I think it’s right that you know.”
This little story is amazing for many different reasons and the only good one is Floyd Landis telling it to Tyler. I’m guilty of saying some negative things about Floyd, mostly because he was such an idiot liar. But at a point, when he has nothing to gain and he has lost everything else and he starts telling the truth, he gains back my respect, just like Tyler Hamilton has.
I ended up reading these books one right after the other. As I said before, I recommend them both. David Millar is a better writer. He actually has more demons to battle than Hamilton so his story of redemption is inspiring. Tyler Hamilton’s story is more depraved (in a doping sense) but both books are important. A lot of people in cycling are now admitting to past deeds in very unspecific terms. These two authors are both shining lights into some dark corners and making the inevitability of drug use in cycling more human and understandable. Also, in reading these books back to back, it highlights the contrast in how these two people dealt with their fates.
Both had the bad luck to be nearly singled out as dopers when a large percent of the riders were dopers. Millar realized it was the doping that killed his passion for even riding a bike. He took no joy in his EPO-assisted victories, only a temporary satisfaction that the task at hand was completed. He decided to come clean and to become an advocate for clean racing and changing the corrupt system.
Hamilton could not admit to anyone but his wife (who already knew) that he had been a cheat. His lie was so crushing he couldn’t even see a way out. He then spent all his money and energy protecting the lie for years, for nothing, obviously. It was the threat of perjury in that finally broke open the dam. It’s a cruel lesson to learn; the truth will set you free, even if it takes forever.
@ken Yeah baby, Garmin may be able to hire Yates and Servais, who has to be next. I agree with you, Sky is fucked to do this. So who could they hire? Charlie Mottet and Bradley McGee?
@ken
You could’ve had a V8!
@Marcus
Amen to that… this is just getting to be absurd now.
I think Sky genuinely believe that the only way to eradicate doping is to not have anybody on the team who has been involved in it, and if the sport needs to go through that catharsis then so be it.
Yates knew what Sky’s policy was when he joined. It’s been very clear from Day 1 when they didn’t sign Miller.
He hasn’t just been involved in doping he has also presumably not been completely honest with his employer, and that doesn’t leave them with a lot of choice.
@ChrisO I agree, Chris… this had to be done w/ Sky.
@ In General: As far as Sky’s policy and if they’re fucked in the head for doing things this way… I don’t see it that way at all. It’s their policy from inception and more power to them for sticking to their guns on this instead of backtracking under public scrutiny. I’m not saying I agree or disagree with Sky’s policy… what I’m saying is that until EVERY team adopts Sky’s policy, none of these dismissals from Sky are likely to result in the end of their careers.
I think most of these guys will find their place again, work into a new team, champion the new cause, and all parties (including professional cycling) will be all the stronger for it.
Keep that restroom fan on, continue venting the shitty air… things will eventually freshen up. At this point, we’re still standing over the porcelain bowl watching the COTHO swirl around in circles, leaving a thick stain in his wake.
@ChrisO I’m not sure whether Sky believe this will eradicate doping or just hope that the world will see them as a clean team if they have no ex dopers on the team.
I admire them for sticking to their guns but they have lost at least three of their best staff in Yates, Julich and De Jongh. We’ll see what impact that will have on their results next year…..
@ChrisO
Another point that has bearing on this is that Brailsford has said that they will go through every member of the team again and they will “be supportive” I think we can read in to that “If you fess up now, will give you some sort of severance package and conclude your contract amicably, if you hang on and get discovered, we will just sack you on the spot”. It is therefore not surprising that we are seeing a set of x dopers or people who have been connected to it now decide that their best option is to go now, at least get something and then get a job with another team.
Brailsford is an adamant anti-doper, you can call in zealous but ultimately he has the courage of his convictions and is following them through, he wants a pure team and in a way he is taking chances doing it….but….if it comes off then he will known as “the guy who cleaned up cycling” even though there are many more than him involved. I think he is making a pretty bold move and is probably pissed off that people have lied to him….if it works he is to be congratulated, if not then he will be hanging out there with his arse in the wind!
@Oli
Yes, fair point.. it’s just that this “holier than thou” tone from Sky is sticking in my throat a bit….
Well, it’s cold wet and windy outside. Great! Time to do some pedalling instead of posting….
If Brailsford didn’t know or suspect Yates, Rogers, Leinders, De Jongh and Julich (not to mention some others) had a history then he’s either a dumb fuck or a fucking liar. Simple.
“Julich, Yates and De Jongh will all receive parachute payments for confessing to their past but any members of staff signing a declaration of innocence who are subsequently “outed” as proven former dopers will be sacked with no financial package.”
thought as much….expect a purge….
@brett
+1 Much more eloquent than I could ever hope to be on the subject. I know that he insisted his riders had a clean history, but it’s not obvious to me that he ever extended that principle to his staff – this seems like a new position to me.
But, then again, he’s the boss, so he has the responsibility and therefore the right to run the team as he sees fit. As well as for hanging on to his sponsors. So, cut off an arm to save the body I guess. And some parachute payments may help to ease the exit for guys like Yates.
But I’m still pissed with him. Right, I really am going to stop writing this crap and go and ride instead.
I read Hamilton’s book the other day. Fascinating and sickening at the same time. I’ve heard/read about some of the stories in the past, but then having them laid out with details – eye opener. After reading it, you can’t condone what Hamilton and others did, but it certainly sheds more light on why. Puts doubts in your own mind about what you’d do in the same situation.
Hamilton comes across as the honest guy you originally thought he was – before the doping and unborn twin excuse nonsense. Huge kudos to him and other pros finally telling the truth, even if they were forced to under testimony.
Others, Lance included, appear to have their heads stuck in the old school sand. We know now it all. Time to publicly fess up…
Sky are saying Yates’ departure is nothing to do with the zero tolerance policy.
Their statement is pretty unequivocal so we have to take it at face value but I’d be fascinated to know what the whole story is.
Maybe it is really for personal reasons, but the timing is just too weird, and the way it came out before any public statement, over a weekend. Something doesn’t add up.
@ChrisO
Rats…yes I smell one…
In the whole sorry affair this witty article just about summed it all up and brought a wry smile to my face…
http://velocastcc.squarespace.com/post-peloton-transcripts/2012/9/3/useful-idiots-transcript.html
@Deakus One would hope that Paul Sherwen is there by Ligget’s side correcting him, once again, only this time with a mega-phone and a baseball bat.
@Marko I had always thought of Phil as “The voice of cycling” and not paid much more attention to him than that. I went and looked up the original interview and the follow up once USADA had released its findings on ballz radio on youtube.
I can only say “What a deluded C***T” (sorry I don’t use that word very often) he obviously has not even bothered to read the reasoned decision document and blatantly needs retiring with an overdose of EPO asap…
I may have to watch the tour footage this year with the sound turned down!
Sky are really starting to take the piss… nothing to do with the zero tolerance policy? Yates has a clear conscience? What a bunch of wanker cunts. Fucking UK Postal.
As for Phil, here’s his latest confused ramblings… one minute he’s saying “there’s so much evidence”, the next “there’s no solid evidence”. Just fuck off already. Break your contracts, get paid out and fuck off.
I’m really getting sick of these old, lying, omertà -pushers in the sport.
@brett A-Merckx to that!
Frankly, to be charitable for a second, he just sounds like an ageing cycling fan who is struggling to face up to the reality of his fallen heros: listening to what he’s saying, he’s trying to rationalise and get to grips with the situation, like many people who were big believers in the Armstrong story, including a few people here. And it’s clear he feels let down by people who told him to his face they didn’t dope, who now admit they did. Can’t blame him for that.
But he lacks incisiveness on some key points and sounds muddled on others, when what we want instead from commentators (especially from someone who would wish to be known as the voice of the sport) is clear headed insight and clarity of thought.
But that’s nothing new: he’s been rambling for a few years now and is past due for retirement, which even he himself acknowledges.
@Deakus
Who knows, there are ongoing investigations, of which revelations of Yates inviolvement could predjudice, so maybe they have to go this way about it?
Also, knowing Sky is a major sponsor, perhaps all of this shit extends as part of a contractual arrangement. Sky signed up for clean riding, so now Brailsford has to follow through on the managements team after pressure from those with the Benjamins. It is a business afterall?
And then there is the whole annoying duality of the thing, the past legends are forgiven for enhancing (Merckx et al), then we are livid with current dopers, but then people are mad at a team that won’t accept doping as part of peoples past? I understand the reasons why (promotes people to continue to lie), but it is just such a conflicted position, forgive people their history and accept that riders or management will not be a part of doping again, but be fucking mad if they dope? But we let them remain part of the sport in the first place? How many dopers have multiple transgressions?
If doping stopped today, it’s going to take the passing of time to get rid of anyone involved with doping through their natural retirement from the sport under the ‘apologise and go on clean’ approach. I still contend there will be controversies over drugs related to current riders and staff until that time, maybe 40 or more years from now. Let alone anything new that comes along…
Hmm, reading it again, I guess what I was getting at is there isn’t a black and white resolution to such a black and white problem. I mean, not that many people were happy Vinokourov won the Oly road race, even though he is now clean?
@Marko Except of course Paul was the Motorola publicity hack for years and was even thicker with LA then Phil ever was.
@Oli
Well there is that little bit of untidiness isn’t there. What a tangled web. At the end of the day, it’s a soap opera and really much ado about nothing. Cool thing? Guys like you and I can go ride our sweet bikes whenever we want, for fun, cleanly, and live la Vie Velominatus. Now that’s something.
Hear hear, Marko.
Thinking that same thing on Friday and Saturday’s rides… both days were incredibly wet-cold-windy, but despite my mind wondering back and forth over this cleansing process (especially how to support LeMond’s return to grace), I kept coming back to the fact that I’m not suffering, I’m living… living the five-life, and living it well.
A growing list of team officials tarnished by the doping brush: http://velorooms.com/the-doping-section/the-dodgy-team-staff-thread-a-work-in-progress/
@marko Cheers! That’s the real truth of the matter. All of this is interesting gossip, but doping, pro cycling, whatever…..even if it didn’t exist, all of us, throwing our legs over our machines and facing off with ourselves is all that really matters. VLVV
@Oli
Hey Oli. Contact me off list. I have a question for you: skbugco@yahoo.com. Thanks!
@JFT
@graham d.m.
A-Merckx brothers. To be honest – when I’m riding – rarely do I think about pro riders. I focus on my sensations, the beauty of the day, and hopefully not my bike because I don’t know it’s there. And rides always, always, have the affect of clearing my mind. So even if I did think this shit was important in the grande scheme, a ride would put it in perspective.
@Oli
Wow… that’s scary.
Some of the links are a bit tenuous – on their own they might be given the benefit of the doubt, but when they are employed alongside others who are in it up their elbows it is hard to be charitable.
This is why I disagree with Miller and Vaughters’ position – while all these people are still involved in the sport how will it ever be clean.
I like Marcel Kittel……
Argos-Shimano rider Marcel Kittel has made known his opinions regarding the Lance Armstrong doping case. Using social media network Twitter, the German sprinter spoke out against those who have been supportive of Armstrong despite the dossier published by the American Anti-Doping Agency (USADA) and the subsequent lifetime ban issued on the American by the UCI.
“I feel SICK when I read that Contador, Sanchez & Indurain still support Armstrong. How does someone want to be credible by saying that?!” Kittel tweeted, following recent pro-Armstrong comments made by the three Spaniards in the press.
“I mean, it makes it all worse. They should play their false game somewhere else. Or do they ride for money instead of joy?!” he continued to ask.
Unequivocal about his anti-doping stance, Kittel even answered a critical Tweet from another user, who suggested, “Don’t you think it’s better to shut your mouth. Cycling history always turns back 2 people like you.” The German responded: “Not anymore! I’ll risk it!”
The Human Condition has never been able to deal with grey areas or ambiguity – unfortunately the only way to deal with this, is with a cudgel – anyone who thinks this new dawn can occur otherwise will be living in the same world they thought they had just got rid of
I used to think the benefit of doubt was a reasonable principle, but 20 years of being a doctor has taught me it just doesn’t work with humans
Sorry to see those who got caught up in something they would rather not have been caught up in, losing their jobs, but they took a decision to take other peoples’ jobs (those who did walk away from the temptation), so hopefully nowadays, those who are tempted, will know that longterm, it will catch up with you, and it will be better to reject it now (ie, current generation)
I clearly support David Brailsford
@Marko
A-Merckx
After only a few rare and unconfirmed sightings over the last couple of months, @Dr C, kicks down the door and steams in swinging. Great quote from Kittel but I’m not sure about the second post.
Surely the beauty of the human condition is being able to selectively grant the benefit of doubt where you see fit. Otherwise there’d be no room to take David Millar at face value and say “it could all be ‘rse saving bollocks but I’ll chose to believe that he is repentant and all this is aimed at giving the sport a strong future”, you’d be stuck with categorising him with the likes of Alejandro “who? me dope? never. and Armstrong is the victim of a witch hunt” Valverde.
@Chris
I appreciate that there are ex-dopers both currently in the peloton and in management roles that truly wish to leverage their past experiences with doping to help clean up the sport, but as far as Millar goes, he lost a lot of credibility in my book with the ridiculous tweet he made calling out Rabobank for ending their sponsorship. He may mean well, but chastising a financial sponsor for not doing what he feels is the right thing regarding helping to clean up the sport is just laughable. I’m currently mid-read of his book, but find it hard to take him seriously now.
@VeloVita I hadn’t really looked at it that way, it’s a good point. My initial thought on the subject was WTF, Rabobank had always come across as being part of the Dutch cycling institution and I’d maybe felt that they’d got more out of the deal as a result of people seeing them in such a light. At the end of the day though, you’re right, they’re just a financial sponsor.
On the other hand, it doesn’t lesson my view of Millar that he get’s passionate about something that potential has serious implications to the sport.
@Chris
The Rabobank pull-out surprised me as well seeing as they stood by cycling through a plethora of doping scandals, but I think their press statement regarding their reasoning says it all. That said, I respect that while their name won’t be on the kit, they are fulfilling their financial obligations through next season. Obviously we don’t know the details of their agreement, but I’d guess that if they really wanted to put up a stink about it, they could get out of some of their obligations as a result of Egg Timer’s admissions as well as the Barredo inquiry.
I appreciate Millar’s passion, but think that he should be funneling it into doing what he’s paid to do (riding) and perhaps into mentoring young cyclists by sharing his experiences (both positive and negative). Leave the commentary and criticism of the system and its various players to people who won’t make fools of themselves by opening their mouths.
@VeloVita
Understand your point, but don’t believe Milar has made a fool of himself. The reverse. I’d say he’s shown courage in calling out those elements of the system that he see’s as broken and arguing for change, whether it be the UCI, sponsors, or whoever, especially because he does so as a current rider. Virtually none of the other riders have done so, for me it makes a refreshing change. One rant at Rabobank doesn’t change in my view. If cycling is to change it needs a collaboration of people working towards changing it: riders, teams, sponsors, UCI etc. He’s playing his part, for that I applaud him.
@ken
I suppose his comment re: Rabobank just really rubbed me the wrong way. I agree with you and have no problem with him pointing out the problems with the UCI and other governing bodies, team management or other riders, but I draw the line at bitching out a sponsor. The sport already has problems attracting sponsors in the wake of all the doping scandals, and those sponsors, who are the sole funding for the teams in the absence of a revenue-sharing scenario in regard to television revenue, get value for their investment only by having their name/products/services associated with the team. They pay for their name on a jersey and apart from paying the invoice for that real estate have no responsibilities period. For Millar to come out and publicly chastise Rabobank ‘How dare you’ really shows a pathetic lack of understanding as to what the role of a sponsor is and perhaps what a rider’s place is. You want to keep sponsors in the sport? Give them something beneficial to be associated with. Short of that, don’t expect them to stick around – they’re not there to serve you and support your mission, its actually quite the reverse.
@Dr C
Whoa! Just hang on one cotton pickin’ minute there. I don’t mind if you want Team Sky to drum out every man and women who’ve ever indulged in a sneaky aspirin to dull the pain in their guns. Don’t even mind if you think Brailsford’s the next Mother Theresa and want to have his babies, but …
… the Human Condition is defined by ambiguity! That’s one of the aspects of the conscious beings that we are: that we can see black, white and the many (50, according to my wife) shades of grey in between. Yes we love to simplify, to set rules, to define right and wrong. But as soon as we do, we love more to justify breaking the rules, to redefine the boundaries of crime and punishment. We’ve been at it since the dawn of time.
Whole religions are of course based on your premise: they define themselves in terms of commandments, heaven and hell. No ambiguity there. Fuck, even as Velominati, we love our Rules. Great for removing ambiguity – it’s part of the Human Condition, no doubt about it. But you know what? We love more to argue and debate them. To redefine them. We revel in it. We’d have nothing to talk about if life were so easily defined as black and white.
And those religions, even they love their ambiguity: always forgiving those pesky sinners just when you thought you knew where the boundaries were: all that’s needed is a simple confession and you can sleep with your neighbour’s ass. Or say three ‘hail Merckx’ and I’m sure I can be absolved of the fact that I rode like a pussy yesterday instead of a Lion.
Anyhow, another casualty today from Team Sky today. And whilst I love my shades of grey and whilst I’d admire him more for taking what I’d see as a braver, more enlightened approach, as I said before, it’s Brailsford’s team and he’s got the right and responsibility to shape it how he sees fit.
@VeloVita
Yes, I see where you’re coming from, good point… Don’t bite the hand that feeds…
I thought Juan would’ve asked McConaughey to play him, being Texan and all that bromance-n-stuff.
Matt Damon could play Lance Armstrong in film about cyclist’s downfall
South Park on Lance…..awesome
http://www.usatoday.com/story/gameon/2012/10/30/south-park-shot-at-lance-armstrong-yellow-band-livestrong/1668323/
Following on from the Team Sky “Truth and Get Fucked” commission, Rapha comes to the rescue:
@mouse I just did a beer spit-take after reading that!
@mouse Pure Genius!
@Chris
Excellent, just saw Skyfall last night and kicking doors down and swinging (fists) is where it is at!
I have nothing against a lot of the chaps who doped a bit in the past, and feels sorry for some of them, as they were probably put under appalling pressure to do it to keep their jobs – it’s the Godfather’s who need fully rodgered, like Gunderson and his cronies
But the reality is, if we show any leniency now, it will all creep back in – these guys had a life that the non dopers didn’t get, and we can’t take that away from them – losing their jobs now is not that severe when that is put in persepctive – they will get jobs elsewhere, just not in our Blue Riband level that everyone is meant to wow at
@Dr C Very good point! Let’s be clear these people are not being kicked out in to the cold winter weather without a jacket on their back likes the young up and coming riders might have been if they did not dope. They are resigning with the relevant termination payments and may well go work for another team.
If they choose to retire then so be it, but that is their choice, no-one is saying they are now unemployable..effectively Sky are saying “all ex-dopers are redundant, come get your severance packages” I am sure some of the leavers are delighted….get a lump sum, go work elsewhere..result!
The hard bit will be those that hang on and continue to hide the skeleton in the closet…round 2 will come and they will get booted with nothing and it will serve them right, they had their chance and they did not take it..
If there was any doubt that Valverde was a complete twatwaffle, look to his latest quote: “Then asked if he had ridden clean throughout his career, Valverde replied: “My conscience is clear. I won and I have kept on winning. Each person can think what they want.”
Dude should be banned for life