The Rules

Guest Article: Testing Rule #12

If Rule #12 does not smolder deep in your soul, you might not be a Velominatus. I'll still be riffling…

9 years ago

Guest Article: Drink Properly

Where would cycling be without the malted recovery beverage? Does El Pistolero crush a few pints after the Giro? A…

9 years ago

Look Pro: Baller

Whenever something tries to be something it isn't, you wind up getting into trouble. Those Cutlass Cruisers in the 70's…

9 years ago

On Rule #3: The Apocalypse

[rule number=3/] With The Rules being officially published in three languages (English English, American English, and soon Dutch) and now also…

10 years ago

Guest Article- When Is a Sticker Not a Sticker?

We are presently in the calm eye of the Spring Classics typhoon. Last weekend the Ronde blew through leaving more…

10 years ago

On Rule #9: The Badass Within

The rain is coming down in sheets, blowing sideways out from the coast. I hear its intensity more than I feel…

10 years ago

On Rule #10: The Mandlebrot Set of Pain

My training hasn't gone as I'd like it to be going. My days keep getting loaded up with things that…

10 years ago

On Rule #12: The Luxury of Passion

Rule #12 is a luxury of passion; the #1 for good weather and epic rides or races, the Nine Bike…

10 years ago

The Shaving

[rule number=50] Back when this Rule was coined, it seemed to have little meaning or relevance at all to Cycling.…

10 years ago

No Frame Mounted Pumps-Rule #30

Either CO2 cannisters or mini-pumps should be carried in jersey pockets (See Rule #31). The only exception to this rule…

10 years ago

Les Maîtres de la Casquette

It doesn't take a genius to see what's going on here. Rule #5, Rule #9, Rule #10; every rider in…

10 years ago

The Nature of Rule VV

It never gets easier, you just go faster. - Greg LeMond Rule #5 looms above the other Rules in terms of…

10 years ago

Summer Ripening

Summer is a time for getting fat. Winter is a time for getting fat as well, but in a different…

10 years ago

Preloading The Brain

Brett's fine Nick Cave article got me thinking about music and cycling. We spend lots of time alone on our bikes.…

10 years ago

Rule #33 and the Summer Barbecue

Rule #33- Legs are to be carefully shaved at all times. This is one of the Rules that really defines the…

10 years ago

La Vie Velominatus: Transcension

When it comes to Rule Compliance, we have at our disposal three viable options. The first is to Obey the Rules. That…

10 years ago

Rule#74 Conundrum

Maui Velominatus Dave is tapering for this Saturday's Cycle to the Sun. It is more mass start, time trial to…

10 years ago

Guest Article: Proposed New Rule #96, the Marcellus Rule

This note arrived to the Velominati Bunker back in April. It was a confession. It was a cautionary one. Everyone…

10 years ago

European Posterior Tubular (EPTB)

The divisive nature of Rule #29 is not to be underestimated. It is but a humble satchel, but our rejection of its use…

11 years ago