Categories: CogalsThe Rides

Cogal Report: East Maui Loop 2013

Frank

I didn’t want to climb the Eiger, I wanted to have climbed the Eiger.
– Jon Krakauer, Eiger Dreams

Gianni’s Take

This Cogal seemed like a good idea to Frank. Right up until he understood we had to be riding at 5:25am to meet up for espresso or muffins, or dense fuel omelette loaded with cheese and sausage (Peter only). This ride had been weighing heavily on my psyche for a long time and I needed to get it underway. I needed to have done the East Maui Loop. Long distances and climbing are two of the many weak points of my cycling. This was by no means the Too Much on 100 slog; the East Maui Loop was 50% the distance and 80% of the climbing.

Frank proclaimed he was going to do this cogal without fuel. Frank is other worldly. He is from Mars and I, evidently, am from some outer orbiting pussy planet. I had stuffed one of my rear pockets with Clif products. Hell yes, bonking is dumb and I didn’t need to add that to my list worries. Why would one propose such Rule #91 folly? To meet the Man with the Hammer, a confirmed date with him, to really get it square in the forehead? No, Mr. Body Dismorphia wants to lose weight. With tongue cleanly bitten off I mimed that it was a fine idea.

After a zero dark thirty start we met the other riders, most of whom had no idea what a Cogal was. They were just up for a day of riding through the many climates and geographies of the East Maui Loop, followed by pizza and beer gorging. Frank and I were the only East Loop virgins on this ride. @mauibike was our guide but with one road and no turns, he didn’t have to worry about us getting lost.

Everyone returned to their starting points. Frank suffered a non-fixable flat with five miles to go and had to call in the support truck. He will have to come back to  finish this one. It was a hell of a ride. I’m glad to have done it. Everyone else treated it like an easy roll around session. Rob even added some climbing after dragging me along.

The beer and pizza made us whole again.

Frank’s Take

At a cozy 160km with and a few thousand meters of climbing, this ride has been given something of mythical status by Gianni ever since our first trip out to Maui a few years ago. Poor tarmac, dirt roads, loads of climbing, and heat all add their unique elements to Maui’s already unique climate.

Being a small island just big enough to have distinct climates in different areas, there is a tropical rainforest on the north and northeast sides of the island, desert in the south, and normal in the isthmus that runs between East and West Maui. That makes this ride the only ride I’ve ever been on that takes you through all these weather zones in one day. I’d experienced part of this when riding the Kaupo ride with my friend Dave Ezzy on our last trip, and I was thrilled at the chance to ride the whole thing.

Bad roads and peer pressure meant a last-minute change to clinchers, as the wheels I had brought were my Café Roubaix climbing wheels and it was (repeatedly) postulated that I might destroy them when introducing fat ass, carbon, and potholes. I scrambled to get tires and valve extenders sorted out and claimed the VMH’s Zipp 404s for the ride. This turned out to be a bad idea as the extender I bought sucked, and the inner tubes I repurposed from her wheels were old and cracked and destined to fail just prior to us completing the ride. You’ve never been doing this so long that you can’t learn a basic lesson: never change your equipment the night before an important ride.

I had a rough night; I stayed up late writing, and staying up late writing customarily requires ample portions of wine. When I finally got to sleep, it was soon interrupted by phone calls from work when the servers chose to fail. I was awake just long enough to realize how hung over I was going to feel in the morning and how few hours were left before the alarm would go off.

Hangover, no food, and coffee seemed like an excellent way to meet the Man with the Hammer, and though I brought a Clif bar and a few shots by way of escape chute should I need it, I was determined to run the tank empty. This endeavor was aided somewhat by losing a bidon on the Maui Pavé.

This is dragging on, so I’ll stop after making a few final points. First, this is an amazing ride and despite the pouring rain, was one of the most beautiful I’ve done – full stop. Second, riding from desert into rain forest is one of the coolest things you’ll ever do. Third – and this is mostly just for the islanders – that tarmac on the back end of the island is rough, but it is nothing like the Pavé of Northern France and Belgium.

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Gianni

Gianni has left the building.

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  • @the Engine

    Nothing useful to add but here's a picture of the youngest Engine looking at me with the Eiger behind him taken on Saturday when I probably should have been out on my bike...

    I am guessing that was taken at the hotel in Grindelwald where the whole saga of Angerer, Hinterstoisser and Tony Kurz unfolded.  Amazing place I would love to visit, by all accounts you can walk to the bottom of the Nordwand (as long as you can dodge the Bergshrund).

    My personal favourite though (as a reader of mountaineering literature, having only once donned crampons above 3000m) is the north face of Changabang.  Andy Cave book Learning to Breathe is epic.

    I also treated myself some years ago...back when the world economy was not in its knees, to a first a edition of The White Spider.  Its sits proudly on my bookshelf as an inspiration to me as to what dedication and focus can achieve! (them climing it, not me saving up to buy it!)

  • @Deakus

    @the Engine

    Nothing useful to add but here's a picture of the youngest Engine looking at me with the Eiger behind him taken on Saturday when I probably should have been out on my bike...

    I am guessing that was taken at the hotel in Grindelwald where the whole saga of Angerer, Hinterstoisser and Tony Kurz unfolded. Amazing place I would love to visit, by all accounts you can walk to the bottom of the Nordwand (as long as you can dodge the Bergshrund).

    My personal favourite though (as a reader of mountaineering literature, having only once donned crampons above 3000m) is the north face of Changabang. Andy Cave book Learning to Breathe is epic.

    I also treated myself some years ago...back when the world economy was not in its knees, to a first a edition of The White Spider. Its sits proudly on my bookshelf as an inspiration to me as to what dedication and focus can achieve! (them climing it, not me saving up to buy it!)

    It was taken from the cafe balcony at Kleine Scheidegg Herr Doktor Deakus. The ambiance of the immediate vicinity is somewhat spoiled by a high douchebag ratio owning to the large numbers of pretentious/wealthy types sliding ostentatiously downhill. I'm more a solitary wilderness type of guy.

  • @the Engine

    @Gianni

    @scaler911

    @the Engine

    There are probably a few hard climbers on the face in that photo. A nice winter ascent of the Eiger? I'll stick with a winter East Maui Loop.

    As I recall the one's that don't get to the top and expire are left in situ until they can be safely removed - they don't even do that on the Tourmalet

    In the case of the Eiger this happened because one of Kurz party was suspended from ropes and could not be reached in the conditions.  He was fetched down soon after.

    At higher altitudes they do sometimes leave them there because they are too exhausted to do anything of worth to get them down and in some cases it is seen as a burial site.  Why move them...where to...what is better than being interned somewhere close to 8000m above all the shit the earth has to offer.

    Probably one of the best known amongst mountaineers is Green Boots (best to read the link to explain)

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Green_Boots

  • @Deakus

    @Deakus and I meant to put a pic of Changabang in.......fingers moving faster than brain as usual!

    NICE about the First edition.  What a book.  Right up there with Herzog's Annapurna as the most classic in climbing literature in my opinion.  I have a signed first edition of K2: The Savage Mountain by Bates and Houston.   Charlie Houston was a med prof emeritus at my med school and as I was the climbing club president, I had him come and give a super talk.  He brought old reel-to-reel films from when he was on expeditions with Shipton and Tilman.  He was their Doc on the Nandi Devi expedition in '36, even though he was a 23 year old Columbia med student.  The tales that guy told and to be with him was just amazing.  Really cool and humble guy.

  • @Buck Rogers

    @Deakus

    @Deakus and I meant to put a pic of Changabang in.......fingers moving faster than brain as usual!

    NICE about the First edition. What a book. Right up there with Herzog's Annapurna as the most classic in climbing literature in my opinion. I have a signed first edition of K2: The Savage Mountain by Bates and Houston. Charlie Houston was a med prof emeritus at my med school and as I was the climbing club president, I had him come and give a super talk. He brought old reel-to-reel films from when he was on expeditions with Shipton and Tilman. He was their Doc on the Nandi Devi expedition in '36, even though he was a 23 year old Columbia med student. The tales that guy told and to be with him was just amazing. Really cool and humble guy.

    There is however one book that beats them all.  If you cannot find it in book shops I think it is on ebooks...short and hilarious!!

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ascent_of_Rum_Doodle

  • @the Engine

    @Buck Rogers

    @the Engine That's the Nordwand, aka Mordwand of the Eiger in the background isn't it?

    Man, The White Spider is one of my all time favorite reads.

    @scaler911

    @the Engine: Fan-f'n-tastic. I love climbing as much as I love cycling. Such majesty. Chapeau!

    When I was a teenager I read everything I could about rock climbing and tried a few classic Scottish routes. As I have the climbing ability of something that has no climbing ability whatsoever (Cavendouche?) this was in the category of "I'll do it to prove that I can and that'll do me adventures" - a bit like visiting New Jersey perhaps.

    Anyway until I'd never seen the Eiger let alone the Nordwand but after ten minutes #3 Engine was showing signs of advanced boredom and early hypothermia as a told him tales of the White Spider and the Hinterstoißer Traverse and even Clint Eastwood. Man - I knew every lump on that piece of rock from reading about it 30 years ago.

    The Eiger is now added to the TdF, New York, The Great Pyramids and the Grand Canyon in the list of things that haven't disappointed me when I've seen them for real.

    Tower Buttress? (The Ben), or did you ever stray to the Buchaille?

  • @Deakus

    @Buck Rogers

    @Deakus

    @Deakus and I meant to put a pic of Changabang in.......fingers moving faster than brain as usual!

    NICE about the First edition. What a book. Right up there with Herzog's Annapurna as the most classic in climbing literature in my opinion. I have a signed first edition of K2: The Savage Mountain by Bates and Houston. Charlie Houston was a med prof emeritus at my med school and as I was the climbing club president, I had him come and give a super talk. He brought old reel-to-reel films from when he was on expeditions with Shipton and Tilman. He was their Doc on the Nandi Devi expedition in '36, even though he was a 23 year old Columbia med student. The tales that guy told and to be with him was just amazing. Really cool and humble guy.

    There is however one book that beats them all. If you cannot find it in book shops I think it is on ebooks...short and hilarious!!

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ascent_of_Rum_Doodle

    I often find that Glacial Lasissitude strikes me even at work.  Thank God I do not have to try to scale a 41,500 foot peak!!!

  • "You've never been doing this so long that you can't learn a basic lesson: never change your equipment the night before an important ride."

    It provides me with a degree of comfort that even a Keeper has to relearn this from time to time. I know it too, but I've also ignored it. With similar results.

    Great photos, looks "fun."

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