The Cogals

Cogals (pronounce it correctly: kog-al) are meetings of like-minded misfits brought together by the promise of beer, preceded by a bike ride. Cogals are free, open to all, organized by our fellow Velominati and are always followed by consumption of post-ride recovery ales and merriment. These are gatherings of unbridled observance of Rule #4.

Cogals differ themselves from other group rides by the meeting the following criteria:

  • First, Cogals are free, organized and supported through Velominati, though not necessarily a Keeper. Anyone is welcome to join a Cogal. Legally speaking, however, we have no involvement, so if you crash or die, it’s your own problem. Please be careful to study the route previously and take precautionary measures to stay safe.
  • Second, a Cogal is a day-long undertaking that focuses 100% on the bike. The rides are categorized (Casually Deliberate,  Rule #5 Rule #10, for example) but are long. This is what you’re doing today, nothing else; see  Rule #4. Rides can be any length, but a minimum distance of 130km should be expected.
  • Third, Cogals always include a session of Malted Recovery Beverage Consumption after the ride. Whenever possible, it should also include a pre-ride espresso.

Not all the events in The Cogals are actual Cogals. We also post rides and events that are of interest to the community, as well as Keepers Tours, which are Velominati-hosted, paid cycling Tours tailored to the tastes of a velominatus.

Any member of the community is welcomed to organize a Cogal. If interested, either post your interest below or email us with the following information:

  • Date of Cogal
  • Starting Address (ideally somewhere neutral, like a café or park)
  • Route (MapMyRide, Bikely, or Strava)
  • Ride Classification (Casually Deliberate, Rule V, Rule VV, or suggest another)
  • A paragraph describing the Cogal

Upcoming Cogals

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Submit Your Own Cogal:

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843 Replies to “The Cogals”

  1. The Cogals »

    @Steampunk

    @Buck Rogers
    Yes, Flesherton. Forks of the Credit is a must. A buddy has a house in Carlisle we could use as a staging ground. Currently making double chocolate cheesecake while listening to Billy Talent and drinking Guinness.

  2. The Cogals »

    @Steampunk

    The Cogals »

    @Buck Rogers
    But you’re the pater familias, godammit!

    Buck has 5. He is the V Pater Familias.

    Also I’ve chimed in a few times above on this topic but must have insulted the dutchmonkey (damn nonbreeder!) somehow as my comments got hung up in the moderation queue.

  3. The Cogals »

    @Nate

    The Cogals »

    @Steampunk

    The Cogals »

    @Nate
    No. Indubitably not. Having said that, I have a theory that Velominati paterfamiliae are 127% more endowed in The V (note the use of >100%, just to rankle Frank). I’ll spare you all the virility angles to this, but:
    1. Our time is invariably limited, so we hammer harder.
    2. Our windows of opportunity are equally reduced, so Rule #9 become a fact of life.
    3. We have a built-in morale sucker (typically referred to as the VMH); if you can still stand upright after Mrs. Steampunk’s withering tirade, you can eat cobblestones for breakfast.
    4. We are responsible for raising the next generation of Velominati. There’s a Darwinian element to this.
    As a result of all this, Velominati paterfamiliae (love that, by the way) tend to fall more heavily into the Cognoscentus camp. I don’t mind breaching Rule #11 from time to time, because to adhere to all rules all the time would tend towards Rule Holism, which isn’t the Hardman way.

    Agree 136%. I haven’t gotten my ride in yet today, as I was engaged in Category IV velominatus paterfamilias activities. Today’s lesson was inspired by Mr. Paris-Roubaix, Roger de Vlaeminck:

    Very strong work! Nicely done.

  4. The Cogals »

    3. We have a built-in morale sucker (typically referred to as the VMH); if you can still stand upright after Mrs. Steampunk’s withering tirade, you can eat cobblestones for breakfast.

    Incidentally, I used to be taller than Frank. Sixteen years of marital bliss, however, has me down to 178cm…

  5. The Cogals »

    @Mikel Pearce

    The Cogals »

    @Steampunk
    @Buck RogersYes, Flesherton. Forks of the Credit is a must. A buddy has a house in Carlisle we could use as a staging ground. Currently making double chocolate cheesecake while listening to Billy Talent and drinking Guinness.

    I’m now deep into a bottle of Grand Marnier mself with my Italian Cafe Music CD spinning and all seems possible!

    Of course the V kiddos are all asleep and the VMH is headed there herself.

    I had better hurry there myself before she falls asleep!

    Until tomorrow, Gentlemen!

  6. The Cogals »

    @Steampunk
    Chapeau. Tomorrow, we ride.

    (I have some 23 year old Pappy Van Winkle if you really like bourbon–I’ll bring it to VT)

  7. The Cogals »

    @Nate

    The Cogals »
    @Steampunk, @Buck Rogers
    Bulleit Bourbon. Padawans fast asleep. Rain. Tomorrow, Rule #9.

    Bulleit makes a rye too. Try it for comparison.

  8. The Cogals »

    @Eightzero

    The Cogals »

    @Nate

    The Cogals »
    @Steampunk, @Buck Rogers
    Bulleit Bourbon. Padawans fast asleep. Rain. Tomorrow, Rule #9.

    Bulleit makes a rye too. Try it for comparison.

    Is that the one with the lime green label? I think I’ve had it. If I recall it had more bite and had less volupte than the bourbon.

  9. The Cogals »

    @buck anytime works for me. Seeing as I work nights and weekends, all I need is a heads up on a finalized date a month or two in advance to ask off the required time. So it doesn’t matter to me (although the later it is the better fitness I should have, but even then a couple of weeks will only help so much)

  10. The Cogals »

    @Buck Rogers

    The Cogals »

    @Steampunk
    Chapeau. Tomorrow, we ride.
    (I have some 23 year old Pappy Van Winkle if you really like bourbon-I’ll bring it to VT)

    Tomorrow, we ride. How simple, how inspiring, how elegant. Must read Work. Sad that the equivalent now has devolved to “Fuck it, Dude, let’s go bowling.” But I can get you a toe.

    I’ll see your Pappy and raise you El Tesoro Paradiso.

  11. The Cogals »

    @Steampunk

    The Cogals »

    @Nate
    No. Indubitably not. Having said that, I have a theory that Velominati paterfamiliae are 127% more endowed in The V (note the use of >100%, just to rankle Frank). I’ll spare you all the virility angles to this, but:
    1. Our time is invariably limited, so we hammer harder.
    2. Our windows of opportunity are equally reduced, so Rule #9 become a fact of life.
    3. We have a built-in morale sucker (typically referred to as the VMH); if you can still stand upright after Mrs. Steampunk’s withering tirade, you can eat cobblestones for breakfast.
    4. We are responsible for raising the next generation of Velominati. There’s a Darwinian element to this.
    As a result of all this, Velominati paterfamiliae (love that, by the way) tend to fall more heavily into the Cognoscentus camp. I don’t mind breaching Rule #11 from time to time, because to adhere to all rules all the time would tend towards Rule Holism, which isn’t the Hardman way.

    So very true indeed. I slunk out of the house at a rather unnatural 5.30am this morning having arisen at 4.50am. No rain but thick fog and 5 degrees centigrade made for Rule #9 and the desire for some breakfast and a hot shower before taking the boys to rugby training meant that no slacking could be tolerated. An alarming list of chores meant that no ride would be possible in the afternoon. The guns are properly cooked and I’m now looking forward to a bottle of bordeaux that my brother in law gave me for my birthday and roast dinner with the family.

  12. The Cogals »

    @King Clydesdale

    The Cogals »

    @buck anytime works for me. Seeing as I work nights and weekends, all I need is a heads up on a finalized date a month or two in advance to ask off the required time. So it doesn’t matter to me (although the later it is the better fitness I should have, but even then a couple of weeks will only help so much)

    Still going for a mid-week ride as the traffic will be less. As for the weeknight. I imagine that you will not feel like working THAT night, even if we finish in time to get you to your work place!

    Good! All comers: I’ll write this up ans send it into Fronk, but we’re looking at the 100 on 200 V Cogal taking place on the 28th of June. Date is set. Let me work the logistics. The only thing that will change the date is if Steampunk’s sidekick cannot make that date. I’ll also try to figure out a way to get some support, at the least rides to the start at 0430-000 timeframe!

  13. The Cogals »

    @Chris
    Very NICE! (Fronk, look the other way for a minute if you would) Love that ride posting ability, what is it from?

  14. The Cogals »

    @itburns
    We’ll have to share some of each in Austin. I have not heard of yours. Pappy VW bourbon is soooo hard to get ahold of, esp the 15 and 18 yr old stuff. But sooooo worth it if you have not had it!

  15. The Cogals »

    @Buck Rogers

    There should be a post above that about the ride, agreeing with @Nate‘s Velominati paterfamiliae post. It’s in the naughty box for some reason.

    The ride wasn’t recorded on anything other than a very simple HRM. ridewithgps.com allows you to map from scratch using their Google maps based stuff. Much better than Strava from that point of view. You can also upload GPS stuff.

  16. The Cogals »

    @Mikel Pearce
    Love that general Carlisle/Kilbride area in general, by the way. I typically come up Snake Rd, along Cedar Springs, and then out on McNiven/Nassagaweya 1, etc. Some great riding: very pretty.

  17. The Cogals »

    @Steampunk

    The Cogals »

    @Buck RogersOr even 200 on 100, which would be more V than the opposite. Twice as much, I would think…

    ! Moment of weakness showing there. Hill repeats this afternoon for me!

  18. The Cogals »

    @Buck Rogers

    The Cogals »

    @itburns
    We’ll have to share some of each in Austin. I have not heard of yours. Pappy VW bourbon is soooo hard to get ahold of, esp the 15 and 18 yr old stuff. But sooooo worth it if you have not had it!

    Paradiso is one of my favorite tequilas. A friend turned me on to Pappy a couple of years ago. That stuff is amazing – others seem to agree because, as you say, it gets harder to find all the time.

  19. The Cogals »

    @Chris

    The Cogals »

    Much better than Strava from that point of view. You can also upload GPS stuff.

    good to see you back out on that gammy knee again – agreed Strava no good for planning – I used mapmyride for ride planning in Espana, as it is the only one that seems to give vert and profile accurately, which is very important , and it still seems the best for that since the Bryton site went and died – that said, it is a bit complicated, and doesn’t easily lend to comparative and cumulative riding that Strava does

    I guess it’s a case of using whichever one suits your porpoise

  20. The Cogals »

    @eightzero

    The Cogals »
    Chapeua to the Keeps, this is fine work. Want to really hurt yourselves? Wonder if there is any WP plugin software out there that allows registered, logged in users to drop a pin on a map where they are located. Velominati everywhere can see their proximity to other Members of the Order, thus promoting cogals.
    WordPress experts out there?

    I’m a WP expert, am I allowed to weigh in? There are some suck plugins. One of the things I’ll be doing is adding that map based on your location as indicated on your community page.

    Because of my (always higher than supported elsewhere) requirements and standards, none of the plugins do what I want, so I’ll code it myself.

    For instance I want to mash it up w MapmyRide and Strava so it also gives you access to that persons rides on the maps. Cool stuff, just takes time, of course.

  21. The Cogals »

    @Cyclops

    The Cogals »

    Can we get a Whidbey Island Cogal V-pint after the fact?

    Absolutely; anyone can order a Cogal V-Pint any time – we’ll be watching the orders, though, and only those who attended the ride will receive them (obviously we’ll contact any orders made in error and issue refunds etc).

    Whidbey Island Cogals attendees: order your pints!

  22. The Cogals »

    @Frank

    The Cogals »

    @eightzero

    The Cogals »
    Chapeua to the Keeps, this is fine work. Want to really hurt yourselves? Wonder if there is any WP plugin software out there that allows registered, logged in users to drop a pin on a map where they are located. Velominati everywhere can see their proximity to other Members of the Order, thus promoting cogals.
    WordPress experts out there?

    I’m a WP expert, am I allowed to weigh in? There are some suck plugins. One of the things I’ll be doing is adding that map based on your location as indicated on your community page.
    Because of my (always higher than supported elsewhere) requirements and standards, none of the plugins do what I want, so I’ll code it myself.
    For instance I want to mash it up w MapmyRide and Strava so it also gives you access to that persons rides on the maps. Cool stuff, just takes time, of course.

    Cool, cool, cool.

    And of course. Time – it isn’t just a pedal.

  23. The Cogals »

    @itburns

    The Cogals »

    @Buck Rogers

    The Cogals »

    @Steampunk
    Chapeau. Tomorrow, we ride.
    (I have some 23 year old Pappy Van Winkle if you really like bourbon-I’ll bring it to VT)

    Tomorrow, we ride. How simple, how inspiring, how elegant. Must read Work. Sad that the equivalent now has devolved to “Fuck it, Dude, let’s go bowling.” But I can get you a toe.
    I’ll see your Pappy and raise you El Tesoro Paradiso.

    I’ll go all in with a 100y/o bottle of Jameson?

  24. The Cogals »

    @Steampunk

    The Cogals »

    @Nate

    The Cogals »

    @Steampunk

    The Cogals »

    @Nate
    No. Indubitably not. Having said that, I have a theory that Velominati paterfamiliae are 127% more endowed in The V (note the use of >100%, just to rankle Frank). I’ll spare you all the virility angles to this, but:
    1. Our time is invariably limited, so we hammer harder.
    2. Our windows of opportunity are equally reduced, so Rule #9 become a fact of life.
    3. We have a built-in morale sucker (typically referred to as the VMH); if you can still stand upright after Mrs. Steampunk’s withering tirade, you can eat cobblestones for breakfast.
    4. We are responsible for raising the next generation of Velominati. There’s a Darwinian element to this.
    As a result of all this, Velominati paterfamiliae (love that, by the way) tend to fall more heavily into the Cognoscentus camp. I don’t mind breaching Rule #11 from time to time, because to adhere to all rules all the time would tend towards Rule Holism, which isn’t the Hardman way.

    Agree 136%. I haven’t gotten my ride in yet today, as I was engaged in Category IV velominatus paterfamilias activities. Today’s lesson was inspired by Mr. Paris-Roubaix, Roger de Vlaeminck:

    Very strong work! Nicely done.

    When we got home it was time for a course in The Right Way to Wash Your Bike, including lessons in How Not To Spray Water At High Pressure Into Bearings (prerequisite: What Are Bearings And How Do They Work), and Introduction To Brushes: Frame and Drivetrain.

  25. The Cogals »

    @all:

    Ride with GPS is a good alternative to mapmyride. Contrary to the name, you can plot routes with it like you do with map my ride.

  26. The Cogals »

    @scaler911

    I’ll go all in with a 100y/o bottle of Jameson?

    100 year? Angels leave more than a dram worth after a century of shares? That wouldn’t be whiskey anymore, that would be the distilled essence of god.

  27. The Cogals »

    @itburns

    The Cogals »

    @scaler911

    I’ll go all in with a 100y/o bottle of Jameson?

    100 year? Angels leave more than a dram worth after a century of shares? That wouldn’t be whiskey anymore, that would be the distilled essence of god.

    It was very nice. I actually considered killing my best friend when he asked for some ice with it one night. Chlorinated water with the elixir of the gods? That request probably caused Ireland’s finical crisis.

  28. The Cogals »

    @scaler911

    The Cogals »
    @itburns

    The Cogals »
    @Buck Rogers

    The Cogals »
    @Steampunk
    Chapeau. Tomorrow, we ride.
    (I have some 23 year old Pappy Van Winkle if you really like bourbon-I’ll bring it to VT)

    Tomorrow, we ride. How simple, how inspiring, how elegant. Must read Work. Sad that the equivalent now has devolved to “Fuck it, Dude, let’s go bowling.” But I can get you a toe.
    I’ll see your Pappy and raise you El Tesoro Paradiso.

    I’ll go all in with a 100y/o bottle of Jameson?

    So you ARE coming to our Austin, Cogal, right?

  29. The Cogals »

    @scaler911

    The Cogals »

    @itburns

    The Cogals »

    @scaler911

    I’ll go all in with a 100y/o bottle of Jameson?

    100 year? Angels leave more than a dram worth after a century of shares? That wouldn’t be whiskey anymore, that would be the distilled essence of god.

    It was very nice. I actually considered killing my best friend when he asked for some ice with it one night. Chlorinated water with the elixir of the gods? That request probably caused Ireland’s finical crisis.

    Would have loved to have tried that. Still trying out different Irish whiskey. I homemade beer and have tried a lot of wine, but now I’m trying whiskies. Any suggestions of good stuff that won’t break the bank? Only have had bushmills and Jameson so far

  30. The Cogals »

    @King Clydesdale

    Early Times! Whiskeius Budgetatus Maximus. A 750 ml bottle is like $12. I drank an entire bottle on a camping trip this past summer, mostly straight out of the bottle.

    As for a serious suggestion, try Isle of Jura – it’s good, and has a spice to it so it’s not quite as sweet as Jameson.

  31. Been busy planning the route for the English Cogal……

    Perhaps the weekend after the keepers tour, or is that too soon?

    I can’t make the whole of the tour, but would love to hook up for a ride over the cobbles at some point.

  32. Bless my Velomissus, she has embraced the tour idea to the extent that she is thinking of coming along too.

    And it appears that it coincides with half term week, which means even if I come on my own for the weekend I don’t cop too much grief about coming back from Abu Dhabi and then buggering off to ride.

    A possibility is emerging that the family (Velomissus and three Velomites aged 15, 12 and 9) may come over, stay somewhere in Ghent, I’ll do the ride on the Saturday and they’ll also come and watch the Ronde.

    Then we may stay in the area for a couple of days, visit Bruges and maybe tour some of the WW1 battlefields, which may mean I am also in the vicinity if the cogal happens during the week.

    Plus if they come they will drive over and bring my bike. Result.

  33. Mini-cogal tomorrow (saturday) morning. melbourne. Leaving Cafe Racer at 6am with G’rilla who is in town for a conference. Riding with Eight Legs bunch. Just to Mordy and back.

    There you go G’rilla. Now you are committed. Anyone else welcome.

  34. @Marcus

    Mini-cogal tomorrow (saturday) morning. melbourne. Leaving Cafe Racer at 6am with G’rilla who is in town for a conference. Riding with Eight Legs bunch. Just to Mordy and back.
    There you go G’rilla. Now you are committed. Anyone else welcome.

    Very cool!!! You guys better share some pictures! Melbournites: make us proud.

  35. @Marcus

    Mini-cogal tomorrow (saturday) morning. melbourne. Leaving Cafe Racer at 6am with G’rilla who is in town for a conference. Riding with Eight Legs bunch. Just to Mordy and back.
    There you go G’rilla. Now you are committed. Anyone else welcome.

    Crap! In town in two weeks, but sans bike anyway.

  36. @Marcus
    Now that I’ve recovered from my disappointment, and reviewed my dickish response, I’ll reframe it.
    I would have love to come, but can’t for various reasons. Hope you have a good one. You’ll need arm warmers!
    Just tell out if you’d like to do another Melbourne round soon, and I’m there.

  37. @Marcus
    Love to join in Melbourne mini Cogal!
    Saturday the 3rd December?
    I’ll be @ Bluff Rd round-a-bout, 7am mass ride start. Might catch Eight Legs bunch ~6.30am Mordy?

  38. @all
    The articles haven’t been published yet, but two additional Cogals have been published on the calendar, Portland Feb 4 and the 200 on 100 June 28.

    More coming. If you’d like to host a Cogal and I haven’t published it – shoot us an email and we’ll hook it up.

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