Categories: Cogals

International Cogal: Festum Prophetae

Artwork: @mcsqueak // Original photograph: Stephan Vanfleteren

It came to me in a moment of absolute clarity, the kind of clarity which only arrives to one in an oxygen-depleted state and at high speed – usually down a steep descent. It would be awfully nice to justify wearing my Molteni jersey, rather than having it hanging in my workshop all the time.

It had been suggested a few times already by the time the notion came to me last winter, that Velominati should organize an international Cogal on which all of us around the world would climb aboard our bicycles in honor of each other, and devote the day to riding. It is, after all, what we do; we ride our bikes. The rest is detail.

While the idea is simple enough, the selection of a date has proven positively futile. Summer on the Upper Half of the planet (you know the one – the one that matters) means VVinter for the Lower Half. When the Lower Half (you know the one, the one with all the convicts and Aztecs) is in summer, the important side is snowed in or sopping wet. You simply can’t choose a day that works for everyone.

The solution, of course, is simple: I unilaterally pick a date for the entire community and shove it down everyone’s throat by the virtue of being louder than almost anyone else (with the exception of the bloke sitting just behind me and to my left at the café; that is one loud-mouthed bastard, that.)

Being the type of person I am, with all the personality defects I have at my disposal, I was still perplexed by the selection of a date that holds significant meaning for all our community. January first, so we may ride off our hangovers. October 3rd, to celebrate Leiden’s liberty from the Spanish. Then the epiphany as I flew down Lighthouse Hill towards the shore of Puget Sound, where Pearl Jam and Sound Garden once rocked out in the weeds: the Velominati International Cogal will be held every year in honor of The Prophet’s birthday, June 17.

Every Velominatus is free to observe this day however they like. Take a holiday from work; declare an exemption due to your specific religious requirements. Ride on the day, in a way that helps you honor the way Eddy rode himself. Ride lots, was his sage training advice. I like to surprise my rivals, was his explanation attacking 70 or 80 or 90 or 100km from the finish. However you ride, on Festum Prophetae each year, we will honor The Prophet. We may also choose, as is customary with other holidays, to arrange within our immediate community to designate the nearest convenient day to observe the holiday. If taking the day to honor him is impractical on the 17th, designate a nearby day that works better for you.

Mark your calendars for June 17, Festum Prophetae*. Personally, I will climb aboard my steel Bike #2 fitted with tubular tires, don my wool Molteni Jersey and head out with only a bit of food in my jersey pocket and water in my bidon with the express intent to meet the Man with the Hammer. No mean feat, considering the Seattle Summer Cogal will have taken place only the day before. Two Cogals in one weekend: I can’t think of a better way to honor him.

Vive la Vie Velominatus.

*A special thanks to @ChrisO for helping determine the “correct” latin phrase.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

wiscot says:

Jun 18 2012 at 9:07 am

@Nate

And my Father's Day card, very much in the spirit:

As someone who works in the art biz, that's a great drawing! Minimal use of line and color, yet manages to clearly identify the subject at hand as well as convey both the speed and enjoyment of riding a bike. The wee fella has your number! Get it framed up!. See if he'll do an annual card featuring a bike - those would be great to collect over the years.
Nate says:

Jun 18 2012 at 9:18 am

@wiscot

Thanks!
Collin says:

Jun 18 2012 at 9:28 am

I spent the first 8 hours of Festum Prophetae doing the last 8 hours of a 24-hour bike race. After knocking out the first 320km in about 9 hours, the only other rider with me started cramping and suffering from heat exhaustion (afternoon temps hit 96). In Mercxian fashion, I just went off the front solo...for the next 15 hours. Aside from the heat, there were three hours of rainstorms and then 20mph+ winds throughout the night -- my aerobars "sing" when the wind goes about 20mph. As the night loop was 7.5 miles long, my world reduced two a two square mile box of pain. I had exactly one person pass me in the 13 hours I spent on that loop, and he clearly had been sleeping.

My legs blew up around 5am, but one lap ridden at a crawl and they woke back up. My race crew got a good laugh as I flew by yelling, "My legs just woke up!" And then I took off again. At this point, the sun started coming up, so we could start to recognize one another. There were repeated calls from a couple guys of, "Dude, you are just killing it out here" or "You've been riding like a madman all day!" True.

I rolled across the finish line for the last time at 7:56am, fist-bumped my crew, and tried to get off my bike. Distance traveled? 760km. And second place? 672km. Win.

I'll post some photos when I get copies.
roger says:

Jun 18 2012 at 9:32 am

@Nate

The negative space of the cyclist, to the bars and front wheel is the first thing I noticed. A giant "heart" shape.

Very awesome card.
versio says:

Jun 18 2012 at 9:36 am

@Collin

I spent the first 8 hours of Festum Prophetae doing the last 8 hours of a 24-hour bike race. After knocking out the first 320km in about 9 hours, the only other rider with me started cramping and suffering from heat exhaustion (afternoon temps hit 96). In Mercxian fashion, I just went off the front solo...for the next 15 hours. Aside from the heat, there were three hours of rainstorms and then 20mph+ winds throughout the night "” my aerobars "sing" when the wind goes about 20mph. As the night loop was 7.5 miles long, my world reduced two a two square mile box of pain. I had exactly one person pass me in the 13 hours I spent on that loop, and he clearly had been sleeping.

My legs blew up around 5am, but one lap ridden at a crawl and they woke back up. My race crew got a good laugh as I flew by yelling, "My legs just woke up!" And then I took off again. At this point, the sun started coming up, so we could start to recognize one another. There were repeated calls from a couple guys of, "Dude, you are just killing it out here" or "You've been riding like a madman all day!" True.

I rolled across the finish line for the last time at 7:56am, fist-bumped my crew, and tried to get off my bike. Distance traveled? 760km. And second place? 672km. Win.

I'll post some photos when I get copies.

Amazed! Way to handle it in the saddle. Glad to hear that you made it your race -- 2nd! I just may be inspired to follow up on 24 hours of brutality and beauty at the same time. Get those photos!
Tartan1749 says:

Jun 18 2012 at 9:36 am

@Collin

I spent the first 8 hours of Festum Prophetae doing the last 8 hours of a 24-hour bike race. After knocking out the first 320km in about 9 hours, the only other rider with me started cramping and suffering from heat exhaustion (afternoon temps hit 96). In Mercxian fashion, I just went off the front solo...for the next 15 hours. Aside from the heat, there were three hours of rainstorms and then 20mph+ winds throughout the night "” my aerobars "sing" when the wind goes about 20mph. As the night loop was 7.5 miles long, my world reduced two a two square mile box of pain. I had exactly one person pass me in the 13 hours I spent on that loop, and he clearly had been sleeping.

My legs blew up around 5am, but one lap ridden at a crawl and they woke back up. My race crew got a good laugh as I flew by yelling, "My legs just woke up!" And then I took off again. At this point, the sun started coming up, so we could start to recognize one another. There were repeated calls from a couple guys of, "Dude, you are just killing it out here" or "You've been riding like a madman all day!" True.

I rolled across the finish line for the last time at 7:56am, fist-bumped my crew, and tried to get off my bike. Distance traveled? 760km. And second place? 672km. Win.

I'll post some photos when I get copies.

Damn. Frank, get Collin a mini Molteni jersey icon (does it exist?) for the year! That's deservedly the most impressive ride of the day - for me, at least. Nearly 100k over your nearest competiror? Wow! Hardman.
ChrisO says:

Jun 18 2012 at 9:39 am

@Collin

If there had been a Rapture on the Festum Prophetae you would have been first to beam up.

Would love to read a full report of it, including your preparation and recovery. There is talk about a 12 hour being held here at the end of the year and I quite fancy it.
Flying Crowbar says:

Jun 18 2012 at 9:54 am

@Collin

That is some serious Five and Dime right there. Outstanding!
mcsqueak says:

Jun 18 2012 at 10:32 am

@Collin

760 km!!! Wow.

You, sir, are a hardman. Badass.
wiscot says:

Jun 18 2012 at 10:43 am

@Collin Incredible! Congrats on having the physical and mental strength to do such a thing. (I think they still have 24 hour TTs in the UK, but I'm sure they're as rare as hen's teeth.) Makes my 170kms yesterday seem like the work of a "fat, lazy bastard" to misquote Cav . . . .

By the way, did anyone else see the Sporza interview with Cav? Didn't do the Tour de Suisse because he race organizer hates sprinters and gives them nothing to go for. "Fat, lazy bastards" is how he feels the organizers feel about sprinters. As for not winning a stage against such good opposition, he said the tour is the tour (not a wee stage race in Holland) implying he's ready to go for green.