Categories: Cogals

International Cogal: Festum Prophetae

Artwork: @mcsqueak // Original photograph: Stephan Vanfleteren

It came to me in a moment of absolute clarity, the kind of clarity which only arrives to one in an oxygen-depleted state and at high speed – usually down a steep descent. It would be awfully nice to justify wearing my Molteni jersey, rather than having it hanging in my workshop all the time.

It had been suggested a few times already by the time the notion came to me last winter, that Velominati should organize an international Cogal on which all of us around the world would climb aboard our bicycles in honor of each other, and devote the day to riding. It is, after all, what we do; we ride our bikes. The rest is detail.

While the idea is simple enough, the selection of a date has proven positively futile. Summer on the Upper Half of the planet (you know the one – the one that matters) means VVinter for the Lower Half. When the Lower Half (you know the one, the one with all the convicts and Aztecs) is in summer, the important side is snowed in or sopping wet. You simply can’t choose a day that works for everyone.

The solution, of course, is simple: I unilaterally pick a date for the entire community and shove it down everyone’s throat by the virtue of being louder than almost anyone else (with the exception of the bloke sitting just behind me and to my left at the café; that is one loud-mouthed bastard, that.)

Being the type of person I am, with all the personality defects I have at my disposal, I was still perplexed by the selection of a date that holds significant meaning for all our community. January first, so we may ride off our hangovers. October 3rd, to celebrate Leiden’s liberty from the Spanish. Then the epiphany as I flew down Lighthouse Hill towards the shore of Puget Sound, where Pearl Jam and Sound Garden once rocked out in the weeds: the Velominati International Cogal will be held every year in honor of The Prophet’s birthday, June 17.

Every Velominatus is free to observe this day however they like. Take a holiday from work; declare an exemption due to your specific religious requirements. Ride on the day, in a way that helps you honor the way Eddy rode himself. Ride lots, was his sage training advice. I like to surprise my rivals, was his explanation attacking 70 or 80 or 90 or 100km from the finish. However you ride, on Festum Prophetae each year, we will honor The Prophet. We may also choose, as is customary with other holidays, to arrange within our immediate community to designate the nearest convenient day to observe the holiday. If taking the day to honor him is impractical on the 17th, designate a nearby day that works better for you.

Mark your calendars for June 17, Festum Prophetae*. Personally, I will climb aboard my steel Bike #2 fitted with tubular tires, don my wool Molteni Jersey and head out with only a bit of food in my jersey pocket and water in my bidon with the express intent to meet the Man with the Hammer. No mean feat, considering the Seattle Summer Cogal will have taken place only the day before. Two Cogals in one weekend: I can’t think of a better way to honor him.

Vive la Vie Velominatus.

*A special thanks to @ChrisO for helping determine the “correct” latin phrase.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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  • To celebrate the day, my VMH and I gave ourselves a present.  We rode our just completed Davidson tandem for the first time on Sunday morning.

    Only the day before at the Seattle Cogal,  Frank and his evil crew tore my legs off, beat me senseless with the stumps, crushed my soul, set it on fire, pissed on the ashes and then ground the soggy ashes into the dirt. A tandem ride with my sweetie was a welcome change.

  • @Collin

    I spent the first 8 hours of Festum Prophetae doing the last 8 hours of a 24-hour bike race. After knocking out the first 320km in about 9 hours, the only other rider with me started cramping and suffering from heat exhaustion (afternoon temps hit 96). In Mercxian fashion, I just went off the front solo...for the next 15 hours. Aside from the heat, there were three hours of rainstorms and then 20mph+ winds throughout the night "” my aerobars "sing" when the wind goes about 20mph. As the night loop was 7.5 miles long, my world reduced two a two square mile box of pain. I had exactly one person pass me in the 13 hours I spent on that loop, and he clearly had been sleeping.

    My legs blew up around 5am, but one lap ridden at a crawl and they woke back up. My race crew got a good laugh as I flew by yelling, "My legs just woke up!" And then I took off again. At this point, the sun started coming up, so we could start to recognize one another. There were repeated calls from a couple guys of, "Dude, you are just killing it out here" or "You've been riding like a madman all day!" True.

    I rolled across the finish line for the last time at 7:56am, fist-bumped my crew, and tried to get off my bike. Distance traveled? 760km. And second place? 672km. Win.

    I'll post some photos when I get copies.

    Brilliant - chapeau

  • @ChrisO

    @Collin

    If there had been a Rapture on the Festum Prophetae you would have been first to beam up.

    Would love to read a full report of it, including your preparation and recovery. There is talk about a 12 hour being held here at the end of the year and I quite fancy it.

    Did a 12 hour once - couldn't piss properly for a day or so afterwards - it was like passing napalm.

  • So me and Lay Brother Simon did the Trossachs Ton. 

    158km's of scenery and midges. Anyone with a flat was doomed as all their blood would be sucked out by the little bastards long before you could get the wheel off the bike. I didn't stop at all and still got bitten. In this country if you go slowly butterflies don't nest in your wheels midges eat your guns. They even got behind my shades where the atmosphere was so dank and vile they died in two great tear drops of insect corpses

    Kept up with the club for 45km's or so and then I started to fall off as we hit the rolling hills beyond Aberfoyle and round Loch Katrine although I generally climb well for my weight. Lay Brother Simon's in a grump because he reckons I fixed it so that it was his turn on the front when we hit the first hill and he got dropped after 50 metres never to be seen again. 

    I got comprehensively dropped around 80kms when I started to cramp. The two week lay off with the back trouble took its toll on my conditioning but thanks to everyone's advice @doc @oli the lower tyre pressures did the trick and it was like riding on a billiard table. My back may have been fine but I was in @frank's "pain cave" for the last third - there's a long drag called The Crow Road over the Campsies - nothing to it unless you have cramp and have 130kms in your legs - torture. Met the first of the "walkers" on that hill - one with Speedplays - who sold her those?

    Finished in 5 hours 52 minutes and change. Went home and drank a bottle of Leffe in honour of The Prophet.

    Two weeks to the Coast to Coast - need a cramp cure quick...

  • @the Engine

    Two weeks to the Coast to Coast - need a cramp cure quick...

    I'm not sure this is The Cure but I always put a good shot of sea salt in all my bottles as I sweat a lot. I'm not sure 'loss of electrolyte' is a primary cause of cramps but it's an easy thing to try.

  • @Collin Jeepers! Great effort!

    @the Engine Glad to hear the lower pressures worked, but I hope the conditioning comes up quick for you and your cramp issues don't arise again!

  • @The Engine

    Everyone has a cure for cramp but a lot of it is placebo effect I suspect.

    The guys at sportsscientists.com did an article on it a while back, analysing various tests and study data.

    The shocking conclusion IIRC was that cramp is not cause by lack of salt/electrolytes or any of the common reasons attributed, but to basically working harder than what you have trained for. Imagine that !

    Your 158 km ride after a two week lay off fits the bill. After all, it's unlikely anyone is going to lose a lot of water or salt in a ride in Scotland in the summer...

    But it means the only quick cure is to ride within your limits, whatever they might be at the time.

  • Glad to hear so many great stories. And the photos are excellent too!

    Yikes, broken RDs and cracked BBs?! Good luck to getting those sorted out.

    I got in a casual 50 km with a pal, kept it slow to keep the BFGs primed for standing still to exchange some vows. Ha, I think those ten minutes were the longest I've ever gone without moving! Thanks to the lot of ya for your well wishes. It was a great weekend, a very nice wedding, I definitely scored an awesome VMH, and saw many friends I hadn't seen in a bit.

    Photo to come. The father-in-law has some on his camera that I'll share when he sends them to me.

    First Festum Prophetae is in the books!!

  • Oh, and Collin - OH MY! That's insane.

    Nate - hmm, that card is so awesome maybe it could be turned into small greeting cards that we could have made up for Followers? I sure as heck would LOVE having a stack of little cards to send out to friends with such a cool drawing on it. And on that note, two best wedding gifts: a friend's father welded us a very cool little bicycle with a hoop attached to the top tube - it holds a potted plant! The VMH is a gardener and landscape architect and I'm a cyclist so really awesomely combined our two passions. Also got a book on bicycle art from an aunt!

    And wait, not only is Rigid a great cyclist and oozes style but he bakes chocolate cakes? Incredible!

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