Categories: Cogals

International Cogal: Festum Prophetae

Artwork: @mcsqueak // Original photograph: Stephan Vanfleteren

It came to me in a moment of absolute clarity, the kind of clarity which only arrives to one in an oxygen-depleted state and at high speed – usually down a steep descent. It would be awfully nice to justify wearing my Molteni jersey, rather than having it hanging in my workshop all the time.

It had been suggested a few times already by the time the notion came to me last winter, that Velominati should organize an international Cogal on which all of us around the world would climb aboard our bicycles in honor of each other, and devote the day to riding. It is, after all, what we do; we ride our bikes. The rest is detail.

While the idea is simple enough, the selection of a date has proven positively futile. Summer on the Upper Half of the planet (you know the one – the one that matters) means VVinter for the Lower Half. When the Lower Half (you know the one, the one with all the convicts and Aztecs) is in summer, the important side is snowed in or sopping wet. You simply can’t choose a day that works for everyone.

The solution, of course, is simple: I unilaterally pick a date for the entire community and shove it down everyone’s throat by the virtue of being louder than almost anyone else (with the exception of the bloke sitting just behind me and to my left at the café; that is one loud-mouthed bastard, that.)

Being the type of person I am, with all the personality defects I have at my disposal, I was still perplexed by the selection of a date that holds significant meaning for all our community. January first, so we may ride off our hangovers. October 3rd, to celebrate Leiden’s liberty from the Spanish. Then the epiphany as I flew down Lighthouse Hill towards the shore of Puget Sound, where Pearl Jam and Sound Garden once rocked out in the weeds: the Velominati International Cogal will be held every year in honor of The Prophet’s birthday, June 17.

Every Velominatus is free to observe this day however they like. Take a holiday from work; declare an exemption due to your specific religious requirements. Ride on the day, in a way that helps you honor the way Eddy rode himself. Ride lots, was his sage training advice. I like to surprise my rivals, was his explanation attacking 70 or 80 or 90 or 100km from the finish. However you ride, on Festum Prophetae each year, we will honor The Prophet. We may also choose, as is customary with other holidays, to arrange within our immediate community to designate the nearest convenient day to observe the holiday. If taking the day to honor him is impractical on the 17th, designate a nearby day that works better for you.

Mark your calendars for June 17, Festum Prophetae*. Personally, I will climb aboard my steel Bike #2 fitted with tubular tires, don my wool Molteni Jersey and head out with only a bit of food in my jersey pocket and water in my bidon with the express intent to meet the Man with the Hammer. No mean feat, considering the Seattle Summer Cogal will have taken place only the day before. Two Cogals in one weekend: I can’t think of a better way to honor him.

Vive la Vie Velominatus.

*A special thanks to @ChrisO for helping determine the “correct” latin phrase.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • Could you imagine if he walked up, grabbed your face, and gave you a hard kiss -- right before a race start?

  • Nope. This is rubbish. Designed to bury your ode to Basso as quickly as possible after he lost more time today.

  • Organizing a double-lake-loop (225km) with an option for some to cut it in half. Clockwise and counter-clockwise. June 17, Festum Prophetae, Lake Murray, South Carolina.

  • Dude, that was close. The Idaho State RR Championship is June 16. I can't go to that since June 16 is also the "Wedding of the Century" when my pastor's son marries a lovely young daughter of a church elder. The church has been scheming/wishing for this the last ten years since they were both just entering puberty and now it has come to fruition. Being the hardy Presbyterian that I am I will be well "liquid carbo loaded" for a ride the next day.

    @versio

    Could you imagine if he walked up, grabbed your face, and gave you a hard kiss "” right before a race start?

    How many of us would mind if the Prophet slipped a little tongue in there?

  • @Steampunk

    Nope. This is rubbish. Designed to bury your ode to Basso as quickly as possible after he lost more time today.

    Me thinks he's right.

  • truly brilliant concept

    Festum Prophetae, it is! Marked, check, loaded and ready to ride
    I believe i have a SS mtn bike race that day, so i will paste the hallowed V to the top tube, and ride in holy rememberance

  • @Cyclops

    @Steampunk



    Nope. This is rubbish. Designed to bury your ode to Basso as quickly as possible after he lost more time today.


    Me thinks he's right.

    Ditto. And as a salve for the Schleckchute!

  • Cyclops...hmm, June 17, eh? I know someone else who is going off that market that day as well!

    I'm still (carefully) working on being allowed to ride to the wedding. As it stands, I've been allowed the rehearsal dinner.

  • @Cyclops

    Dude, that was close. The Idaho State RR Championship is June 16. I can't go to that since June 16 is also the "Wedding of the Century" when my pastor's son marries a lovely young daughter of a church elder. The church has been scheming/wishing for this the last ten years since they were both just entering puberty and now it has come to fruition. Being the hardy Presbyterian that I am I will be well "liquid carbo loaded" for a ride the next day.

    @versio

    Could you imagine if he walked up, grabbed your face, and gave you a hard kiss "” right before a race start?

    How many of us would mind if The Prophet slipped a little tongue in there?

    Now you have cycling recourse on the 17. The kiss is a full on Ricky Bobby and Jean Girard!

  • Brilliant Conceptus

    Festum Prophetae and an international ride in fellowship of the brotherhood!
    great!

    as a lone wolf here in the middle of nowhere, i can do

    that day, however, is a SS mtn bike race for me, so i will paste the V to the top tube and ride in Reverence and Rememberance of the holy one

1 2 3 29
Share
Published by
frank

Recent Posts

Anatomy of a Photo: Sock & Shoe Game

I know as well as any of you that I've been checked out lately, kind…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Men’s World Championship Road Race 2017

Peter Sagan has undergone quite the transformation over the years; starting as a brash and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Women’s World Championship Road Race 2017

The Women's road race has to be my favorite one-day road race after Paris-Roubaix and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Vuelta a España 2017

Holy fuckballs. I've never been this late ever on a VSP. I mean, I've missed…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Clasica Ciclista San Sebastian 2017

This week we are currently in is the most boring week of the year. After…

7 years ago

Route Finding

I have memories of my life before Cycling, but as the years wear slowly on…

7 years ago