Categories: Breaking The RulesDefining MomentsLa Vie Velominatus

Drive Side/Non-Drive Side

Hey guys, we're turning non-drive now.

I have a hard time with labels, which is why I am terrible at remembering people’s names. I remember the person and the conversation, but I rarely remember their name; the person had meaning, the label did not. I also can’t tell my left from my right which similarly feel like labels for “this way” or “that way”. For me to remember which is which, I generally have to imagine which hand I write with, and then I’m off to the races. Usually several hundred meters after the turn I was supposed to take.

With alarming frequency, some bright spark will remind me of the childhood trick to distinguish the directions: your left hand makes an ‘L’. I’m also dyslexic, so both hands look like an ‘L’. I just wind up standing about with my hands in front of me as though I’m trying to frame a photograph.

This problem is not uncommon, but it nevertheless presents a bit of a challenge on group rides, especially with new riding partners. The old sages have all been been issued the “Frank Manual” and are normally briefed on any revisions to the manual in case they hold an outdated edition. As a matter of necessity, newcomers are generally given the crash course on my directional challenges on-demand. “Crash” being used here more figuratively than literally, but I am compelled to report that the record is not perfect in this regard.

I’ve ridden with @Haldy several times, but only on Cogals where the dynamics of the group dictate something less than a 1:1 dependency on riders being able to perform this basic skill we typically master as a child. This weekend was different; @Haldy and I headed out for our first training ride together, a jaunty 4-5 hour spin about the northern Seattle suburbs and country roads. We had hardly left the house before my weakness was exposed.

Haldy: Left at the stop sign.

Frank: Oh, you should know I can’t tell my right from left, and I’m dyslexic, in case you have a clever childhood trick to suggest.

Haldy: [without missing a beat] Turn to the non-drive side.

And just like that, he solved the riddle.

Therapy by Cyclists should be a thing. Vive la Vie Velominatus.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

dinosaurJR says:

Mar 16 2016 at 2:28 am

As a child I struggled to tell left from right (and right from wrong but that is another story). Then I broke my arm playing football (proper football, where you actually use your foot to propel the ball).

From that day on; left = broken arm, right = non broken arm.

Easy peasy.

Not that I recommend breaking a major bone just to simplify the left/right thing, but it certainly helped me.

Side question - why is the drive side on the right side, anyway? Has is always been this way? Or are there bikes out there that are driven "da sinistra".
Winnipeg CycleChick says:

Mar 16 2016 at 6:26 am

@wiscot

Thank you, sir! Critical questions indeed.
1) Over, always.
2) Not a chance.
3) Always. We are, after all, not savages.
Mikael Liddy says:

Mar 16 2016 at 4:26 pm
@VbyV
Hi guys long time lurker. As it came up in the thread, can anyone suggest sites from which to stream cycling events?

Criteria:
- I am in the United States.
- I don’t have cable TV, so I can’t use logins for NBCSports, Univision, etc.
- I am willing to pay for the streams.
Thanks

Tom
Have a look at paying for a decent VPN service that will relocate your internet connection to Australia, then check out the Cycling Central site. They provide a live stream that's a carbon copy of the telecast that goes out Australia wide on free to air TV (yeah, we've got it pretty good).
bea says:

Mar 17 2016 at 9:30 am

@VbyV

Maybe you find something here: five ways to watch pro cycling
DeKerr says:

Mar 17 2016 at 9:59 am

My god that was bloody brilliant. I love (as in truly enjoy in a deep and profound way) stories about shifting perspective or a change in context opening up a whole new solution to an old problem.

Also, this furthers the general V-theory that cycling fixes everything.
frank says:

Mar 17 2016 at 10:47 am

@Winnipeg CycleChick

@wiscot

Thank you, sir! Critical questions indeed.
1) Over, always.
2) Not a chance.
3) Always. We are, after all, not savages.

You, ma'am, are a lady and a scholar.
frank says:

Mar 17 2016 at 10:48 am

@dinosaurJR

As a child I struggled to tell left from right (and right from wrong but that is another story). Then I broke my arm playing football (proper football, where you actually use your foot to propel the ball).

From that day on; left = broken arm, right = non broken arm.

Easy peasy.

Not that I recommend breaking a major bone just to simplify the left/right thing, but it certainly helped me.

Side question – why is the drive side on the right side, anyway? Has is always been this way? Or are there bikes out there that are driven “da sinistra”.

I've seen fixies around town with the drive side on the left, but I think it's only because the twunt that built it didn't know any better and was too busy chopping the handlebars down.
dinosaurJR says:

Mar 17 2016 at 12:36 pm

@frank

A cursory google search has shown me things... Horrible and wonderful things...

Bikes with double drive (?) Who the fuck needs two chainrings, chains and cogs?

Twunts indeed with their super narrow bars, facial hair and capri pants...
Teocalli says:

Mar 17 2016 at 12:50 pm

@dinosaurJR

They probably thought they were going to build a 2 wheel drive, built the cranks and then just before fitting the chain to the front wheel thought ....ah.......or maybe they did not realise why these were really made......though it would be amusing if someone assembled with 2 chains but different cogs.........
litvi says:

Mar 17 2016 at 1:11 pm

@Winnipeg CycleChick

@wiscot

Thank you, sir! Critical questions indeed.
1) Over, always.
2) Not a chance.
3) Always. We are, after all, not savages.

Mind putting together a helpful visual guide on sombrero rim width? I can't seem to ever get it right.