Categories: Breaking The RulesDefining MomentsLa Vie Velominatus

Drive Side/Non-Drive Side

Hey guys, we're turning non-drive now.

I have a hard time with labels, which is why I am terrible at remembering people’s names. I remember the person and the conversation, but I rarely remember their name; the person had meaning, the label did not. I also can’t tell my left from my right which similarly feel like labels for “this way” or “that way”. For me to remember which is which, I generally have to imagine which hand I write with, and then I’m off to the races. Usually several hundred meters after the turn I was supposed to take.

With alarming frequency, some bright spark will remind me of the childhood trick to distinguish the directions: your left hand makes an ‘L’. I’m also dyslexic, so both hands look like an ‘L’. I just wind up standing about with my hands in front of me as though I’m trying to frame a photograph.

This problem is not uncommon, but it nevertheless presents a bit of a challenge on group rides, especially with new riding partners. The old sages have all been been issued the “Frank Manual” and are normally briefed on any revisions to the manual in case they hold an outdated edition. As a matter of necessity, newcomers are generally given the crash course on my directional challenges on-demand. “Crash” being used here more figuratively than literally, but I am compelled to report that the record is not perfect in this regard.

I’ve ridden with @Haldy several times, but only on Cogals where the dynamics of the group dictate something less than a 1:1 dependency on riders being able to perform this basic skill we typically master as a child. This weekend was different; @Haldy and I headed out for our first training ride together, a jaunty 4-5 hour spin about the northern Seattle suburbs and country roads. We had hardly left the house before my weakness was exposed.

Haldy: Left at the stop sign.

Frank: Oh, you should know I can’t tell my right from left, and I’m dyslexic, in case you have a clever childhood trick to suggest.

Haldy: [without missing a beat] Turn to the non-drive side.

And just like that, he solved the riddle.

Therapy by Cyclists should be a thing. Vive la Vie Velominatus.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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frank says:

Mar 15 2016 at 8:47 am

@BaltoSteve

Speaking of spring races, I’m just checking: When will the 2016 Super Prestige be opened? Thanks.

Today.
frank says:

Mar 15 2016 at 8:54 am

@Barracuda

@brett

@Neil

Or you could just remember what other tasks you do, other than writing, with each hand. You know, tasks that you would have performed with great frequency. And at formative ages…

We’re dealing with a special case here…

First rule of fight club

If you call it fight club, you might be doing it wrong.
frank says:

Mar 15 2016 at 8:55 am

@Andrea Tetrault

I’m afraid I am similarly challenged. My childhood trick goes back to second grade, standing in my parents’ living room practicing a Mexican folk dance for an upcoming concert at the school. The dance started with a step forward with the left foot, which happened to be the foot closest to the picture window in the living room. Needless to say, this mental cue, while rock solid, is rather cumbersome in tight situations – like when passing other riders, for example. The combination of being passed, plus being passed on the opposite side one is expecting, tends to make people a little cross. Perhaps my cheerful sombrero lessens the sting.

The drive side vs. non-drive side method is so much simpler. Brilliant.

My brain broke after trying to imagine a Canadian girl trying to do a Mexican folk dance.
frank says:

Mar 15 2016 at 8:57 am

@mike casselton

@hudson

we all have our handicaps @frank. However, I know a pretty good tattoo artist out on the left coast if you want a permanent fix.

@Hudson,

With the dyslexia, he could still end up on the wrong coast in NYC or Boston.

I say mark the tops of their hoods and toes of their shoes. Maybe their gloves. … Garanamals for adults

I totally had to think about that.
Ron says:

Mar 15 2016 at 9:46 am
@wiscot
@mulebeatsdrums
I love the idea of “therapy by cyclists”. I actually first became interested in our beautiful sport as a result of therapy (or the cause of it):

I was seeing a therapist for chronic depression and anxiety (with which I still suffer, but thankfully not nearly as badly at the time), and both my therapist and my academic mentor (I was at university at the time) suggest I do some more sport/exercise.

During a particularly bad couple of weeks in July 2013, I was lying prone on the floor, flicking through TV channels and thought I’d ‘see what all the fuss about that Tour de France thing was about’. Granted, it wasn’t the most exciting of races, and I’ve since watched footage dating back decades that are infinitely better to watch, but it was a gateway nonetheless.

And the rest, as they say, is history.
Thanks for sharing. I think you’ll find many Velominati spend $$$ on bikes and related stuff that might otherwise go for therapist bills. I know that when I had an insanely stressful 2012 and 2013 it was the bike that allowed me to cope.
I've been playing sports for my entire life and still set my days/weeks to them. My life is pretty simple and repetitive, but as long as it involves cycling, hiking, and soccer, I'm a happy fella.

Glad that you've managed to pull yourself out of that, or at least learn how to make things better. I'm repeatedly amazed at how even a short ride can totally transform your mindset and your day. It's like traveling to another dimension for awhile.
mulebeatsdrums says:

Mar 15 2016 at 10:22 am
@Ron
@wiscot
@mulebeatsdrums

I love the idea of “therapy by cyclists”. I actually first became interested in our beautiful sport as a result of therapy (or the cause of it):

I was seeing a therapist for chronic depression and anxiety (with which I still suffer, but thankfully not nearly as badly at the time), and both my therapist and my academic mentor (I was at university at the time) suggest I do some more sport/exercise.

During a particularly bad couple of weeks in July 2013, I was lying prone on the floor, flicking through TV channels and thought I’d ‘see what all the fuss about that Tour de France thing was about’. Granted, it wasn’t the most exciting of races, and I’ve since watched footage dating back decades that are infinitely better to watch, but it was a gateway nonetheless.

And the rest, as they say, is history.

Thanks for sharing. I think you’ll find many Velominati spend $$$ on bikes and related stuff that might otherwise go for therapist bills. I know that when I had an insanely stressful 2012 and 2013 it was the bike that allowed me to cope.
I’ve been playing sports for my entire life and still set my days/weeks to them. My life is pretty simple and repetitive, but as long as it involves cycling, hiking, and soccer, I’m a happy fella.

Glad that you’ve managed to pull yourself out of that, or at least learn how to make things better. I’m repeatedly amazed at how even a short ride can totally transform your mindset and your day. It’s like traveling to another dimension for awhile.
Totally! Since I graduated I've been working full-time in London, and even though the traffic, pollution, and general jeb-ends on the road make a commute far less enticing than going and pummelling the local climbs, even the bleakest morning is rectified by my 45-minute ride in (sub-30 at the weekends on the #1).

I'm extremely fortunate to live in a country where healthcare is free for all, even for mental health (although it takes a bit more work to get what you need), so the money that I would spend on insurance/private therapy and medication if I lived in the U.S. instead goes towards the occupants of my Stable. (As of this week, n=3, because my wife is lovely and bought me a new frame to build around! I've mentioned this elsewhere, but I'm excited about it so I'm telling everyone!)
PeakInTwoYears says:

Mar 15 2016 at 11:09 am

Yes!

Riding is like meditation in that (in my experience, anyway) it can both treat the symptoms of depression and/or anxiety *and* re-wire the brain over the long term to make it more resilient to stress.
VbyV says:

Mar 15 2016 at 1:01 pm
Hi guys long time lurker. As it came up in the thread, can anyone suggest sites from which to stream cycling events?

Criteria:
- I am in the United States.
- I don't have cable TV, so I can't use logins for NBCSports, Univision, etc.
- I am willing to pay for the streams.
Thanks

Tom
Sparty says:

Mar 15 2016 at 1:03 pm
@mulebeatsdrums
I love the idea of “therapy by cyclists”. I actually first became interested in our beautiful sport as a result of therapy (or the cause of it):
1. I was seeing a therapist for chronic depression and anxiety (with which I still suffer, but thankfully not nearly as badly at the time), and both my therapist and my academic mentor (I was at university at the time) suggest I do some more sport/exercise.
2. During a particularly bad couple of weeks in July 2013, I was lying prone on the floor, flicking through TV channels and thought I’d ‘see what all the fuss about that Tour de France thing was about’. Granted, it wasn’t the most exciting of races, and I’ve since watched footage dating back decades that are infinitely better to watch, but it was a gateway nonetheless.
And the rest, as they say, is history.
Ha. Exactly! Cycling is the best medicine. I raced bikes through college and then for a few years after. Then I married and moved a few times for "our" careers. Finding the time to train and race was stupidly difficult and I walked away from cycling (worst mistake ever). We divorced a few years ago and I began to train and race again to fill the void. It has been my best therapy and has kept me focused and sane. I am happy you found cycling @mulebeatsdrums
wiscot says:

Mar 15 2016 at 2:43 pm
@VbyV
Hi guys long time lurker. As it came up in the thread, can anyone suggest sites from which to stream cycling events?

Criteria:
- I am in the United States.
- I don’t have cable TV, so I can’t use logins for NBCSports, Univision, etc.
- I am willing to pay for the streams.
Thanks

Tom
Welcome. Try steephill.tv Awesome coverage and most things stream live. You might have to watch in French, German, Dutch or even English, but you should be able to get something so long as you have internet.