Frank vs. The Volcano: Part Trois

Frank climbs at 9,000 feet on Haleakala. Photo: Elizabeth Keller

At some point, I reckon the idea may dawn on me that I’m not a climber. Eighty kilos and standing something just shy of two meters, I’m not clear on why climbing is what speaks to me most about Cycling; I’m certainly not built like a grimpeur. But there is no question about it; I love riding in the mountains. I only have to catch a sideways glimpse of a twisty ribbon of road from an airplane window or spot a lump on the horizon before my mind starts wandering towards what suffering may be hidden there.

And that may be the key to it, it’s very easy to suffer on the climbs. Fighting the acceleration of gravity means that even by riding at a constant speed up a climb, we’re effectively accelerating our mass along the gradient. In my case, that’s a lot of mass, and in Haleaka’s case, its a lot of gradient aggregated over a lot of distance.

My love affair with this particular mountain started the same way my first elementary school crush did; I approached and was summarily rejected. I returned half a year later with the dual goal of not cracking completely and setting a high (low?) water mark for future attempts. Eighteen months on, in reasonable condition and at a reasonable weight given the human urge during the cold winter months of eating foods consisting of meats, heavy sauces, and potatoes and serving them over meats, heavy sauces, and potatoes.

My training allowed me to ride at threshold for 3 and a half hours; a statistic which supports what makes Haleakala such a unique effort. No other ride affords the rider the opportunity to suffer so comprehensively and without respite. The last ten minutes of the effort were an anaerobic patchwork of pain and agony. The winds kicked up as I worked my way up the mountain, serving to amplify both my suffering and my fatigue. Wind is a cruel thing; you push hard into it in a vain effort to maintain your speed, and as you do it saps your strength and more quickly depletes The V-Stores tucked away in your body. To say nothing of your morale.

Riding Haleakala without cracking is one thing; to ride it with the intent of setting a personal best is another thing entirely. Even despite my feather-light Cafe Roubaix Haleakala wheelset, I came up short of my personal goal of 3:30, but thankfully the high winds on the day have strengthened my belief that with proper planning I can achieve that goal.

I will return. Vive la Vie Velominatus.

Video: (Also available in QuickTime)

If you can’t take watching a 10 minute video, skip to about 7 minutes in for some good suffer footage.

Photos:

[dmalbum path=”/velominati.com/content/Photo Galleries/frank@velominati.com/Haleakala IIV/”/]

Strava:

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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  • @girl

    @frank

    @girl

    Well done. Awesome effort. I did a very hilly - scratch that- very mountainous ride here in Aus the day before your ride. Your mountain was way bigger than mine. I think I left some of my body parts in the snowy mountains where we were riding. seemed like an easy way to make my body a lighter climbing weight.

    I've contemplated the same thing. It's hard to cut off a perfectly good limb just because its an easier way to drop a Schleck than quitting beer, but a little bit of frost bite makes the decision much more palatable.

    I didn't realize there was anywhere in Aus that had snow. Figured the whole continent as being a little homey slice of mars.

    We get a bit of snow in a few mountainous regions and occasionally in freakishly cold places like Canberra. Though our snow really doesn't deserve to be classified as snow compared to the snow in other places. With the 40 deg C temperatures here today I can understand why you would think we don't get any snow.

    Frank awesome ride.  Just checked the vid as a source of motivation for my upcoming mountain adventure.  As a guy of 190cm and 90kg's I am definitely not built for the hills but will be doing the 3 peaks ride that is held annually in Australia's high country. I have attached the course map link http://www.bicyclenetwork.com.au/general/great-rides/94624/.  A mate and I agreed to sign up as we thought it would be "fun" What sort of sick bastards are we to think this would be fun.

  • Frank - first time I have viewed the video - amazing effort, a true inspriation to the mere suffering mortals like myself.  I think it is a little harsh for Strava to state "There are no achievements on this ride"! Really?

  • The stars are aligning ..  might be doing this exact ride in 4 weeks time!!!  I'm also a Rouleur more than a Grimpeur so expect a tough day out there ...  stay tuned

  • Ah ... white bar tape ... black saddle (with white stripe though) ... master Frabk ? Burn in the inferno of the V-olcano  ?

  • I rode up that famed Volcano 3 times back in the early nineties when I had friend who lived on Maui.

    I did it on a mountain bike and it took alot longer than 3.5 hours that is for sure.

    That volcano is a beast of a ride.

    Awesome ride!!!

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