Categories: Defining MomentsLa Vie VelominatusLook ProThe Rides

Frank vs. The Volcano: Part Trois

Frank climbs at 9,000 feet on Haleakala. Photo: Elizabeth Keller

At some point, I reckon the idea may dawn on me that I’m not a climber. Eighty kilos and standing something just shy of two meters, I’m not clear on why climbing is what speaks to me most about Cycling; I’m certainly not built like a grimpeur. But there is no question about it; I love riding in the mountains. I only have to catch a sideways glimpse of a twisty ribbon of road from an airplane window or spot a lump on the horizon before my mind starts wandering towards what suffering may be hidden there.

And that may be the key to it, it’s very easy to suffer on the climbs. Fighting the acceleration of gravity means that even by riding at a constant speed up a climb, we’re effectively accelerating our mass along the gradient. In my case, that’s a lot of mass, and in Haleaka’s case, its a lot of gradient aggregated over a lot of distance.

My love affair with this particular mountain started the same way my first elementary school crush did; I approached and was summarily rejected. I returned half a year later with the dual goal of not cracking completely and setting a high (low?) water mark for future attempts. Eighteen months on, in reasonable condition and at a reasonable weight given the human urge during the cold winter months of eating foods consisting of meats, heavy sauces, and potatoes and serving them over meats, heavy sauces, and potatoes.

My training allowed me to ride at threshold for 3 and a half hours; a statistic which supports what makes Haleakala such a unique effort. No other ride affords the rider the opportunity to suffer so comprehensively and without respite. The last ten minutes of the effort were an anaerobic patchwork of pain and agony. The winds kicked up as I worked my way up the mountain, serving to amplify both my suffering and my fatigue. Wind is a cruel thing; you push hard into it in a vain effort to maintain your speed, and as you do it saps your strength and more quickly depletes The V-Stores tucked away in your body. To say nothing of your morale.

Riding Haleakala without cracking is one thing; to ride it with the intent of setting a personal best is another thing entirely. Even despite my feather-light Cafe Roubaix Haleakala wheelset, I came up short of my personal goal of 3:30, but thankfully the high winds on the day have strengthened my belief that with proper planning I can achieve that goal.

I will return. Vive la Vie Velominatus.

Video: (Also available in QuickTime)

If you can’t take watching a 10 minute video, skip to about 7 minutes in for some good suffer footage.

Photos:

[dmalbum path=”/velominati.com/content/Photo Galleries/frank@velominati.com/Haleakala IIV/”/]

Strava:

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

PeakInTwoYears says:

Jan 9 2013 at 4:19 pm

@sengelov

Have any of you experienced DOMS after such a V-event?

DOMS: Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness .(You cant even descend three steps on a staircase because of excruciating pain in the guns, sort of cramps, but not like common charlie horse. Occurs 3-7 days after ride) Ouch

I know DOMS all too well. But I have never, not once in fifty years, experienced it as a result of cycling. It is--as any Google search will tell you--usually the result of engaging in unfamiliar exercise, especially exercise involving eccentric movements. Think running, or walking down a steep mountain (using the quads as shock absorbers).
PeakInTwoYears says:

Jan 9 2013 at 4:21 pm

@sengelov

Oh, and it's never taken more than 48 hours to kick in full strength, for me. If I do something really stupid, like let the VMH convince me to go hiking after I haven't hiked in months, I'll be a little sore after 24 hours and then fully sore after 48 then gradually less sore.
Jeff in PetroMetro says:

Jan 9 2013 at 8:53 pm

This gives me schadenfreudebone.
girl says:

Jan 9 2013 at 11:46 pm

Well done. Awesome effort. I did a very hilly - scratch that- very mountainous ride here in Aus the day before your ride. Your mountain was way bigger than mine. I think I left some of my body parts in the snowy mountains where we were riding. seemed like an easy way to make my body a lighter climbing weight.
Skip says:

Jan 10 2013 at 2:10 am

@Frank - Congratulations. Actually warrants the use of the word "Epic". I would love to know what specific training you did to prep for such a long climb. What specific types and durations of intervals did you do leading up to it?

@Nate - I would have let Frank answer your question on the grade, but since I don't see his answer yet, I found this chart on climbbybike. (tried to upload or insert the graphic with no luck).
snowgeek says:

Jan 10 2013 at 1:04 pm

@scaler911

Awesome! And a tiny FYI: a Nene (pronounced nay nay) is a small flightless bird from the islands. But I'm sure you knew that.

Chapeau Frank!

I thought a Nene was a Hawaiian Wasp...
frank says:

Jan 10 2013 at 1:39 pm

@eightzero

@frank

@Rob, @all

Thanks to everyone for their kind encouragement. Its a lot of fun putting this out there and making this a weird group thing. I feel like I'm suffering for you assholes too.

And @Rob, I hold you largely responsible for this obsession of mine.

That "weird group thing" is what the site is all about. Like when MrsDr eightzero let me invite a bunch of guys I met over the internet here to out hotel room. A beuatiful thing.

To shower, no less.

@Jeff in PetroMetro

This gives me schadenfreudebone.

Beautiful. Lexi-worthy.

@roadslave525

@frank Chapeau. Strong riding - impressive sustained effort comes across on video. Lose the hat. That's got to be worth some weight off... and may give you the kick up the backside you need to add a Velominati cap to the kit list. Nice wheels, strong riding position, even some Pantani-style climbing in the drops there... I'm sure there was some Fluidly Harmonic Articulation at some point. Looks a beast of a climb, but done on the first day of the year. Well done, Sir. You are insane.

I'm now plotting the next ascent with a targeted training plan to really nail the time down. Also contemplating going for a fast time around the East Maui Loop, which will be documented from the Cogal shortly. Amazing lap, complete with asphalt paved with an ice cream scoop and a steep dirt road climbs. Glorious.
frank says:

Jan 10 2013 at 1:40 pm

@girl

Well done. Awesome effort. I did a very hilly - scratch that- very mountainous ride here in Aus the day before your ride. Your mountain was way bigger than mine. I think I left some of my body parts in the snowy mountains where we were riding. seemed like an easy way to make my body a lighter climbing weight.

I've contemplated the same thing. It's hard to cut off a perfectly good limb just because its an easier way to drop a Schleck than quitting beer, but a little bit of frost bite makes the decision much more palatable.

I didn't realize there was anywhere in Aus that had snow. Figured the whole continent as being a little homey slice of mars.
frank says:

Jan 10 2013 at 1:43 pm

@Skip

@Frank - Congratulations. Actually warrants the use of the word "Epic". I would love to know what specific training you did to prep for such a long climb. What specific types and durations of intervals did you do leading up to it?

@Nate - I would have let Frank answer your question on the grade, but since I don't see his answer yet, I found this chart on climbbybike. (tried to upload or insert the graphic with no luck).

Yes, a very big-guy-friendly 6-7% I think, but there is a steep bit in the lower 1/4 and the last pitch from the parking lot to the top is reported anywhere from 15% to 22%. Most likely 15%ish but believe me, it feels a lot pitchier after 3.5 hours in the saddle at threshold.
Bianchi Denti says:

Jan 10 2013 at 2:38 pm

Congratulations @Frank.

http://www.flandriacafe.com/2012/12/photo-of-day-charly-gaul-bergauf-mont.html

Note that Gaul's 44/26 is extremely close to the 42/25 that you proposed as possibly the best Haleakala gear. Maybe you are actually a genius...