I can can feel his cold breath on my back, like a shadow drifting through an alleyway. He’s not yet upon me, but the Man with the Hammer is lurking nearby. I’m not even sure he has the intention to strike; he’s just staying close, cruelly reminding me that my fate is in his hands.
I feel the heaviness in my legs from the first turns of the pedals as the road tilts upwards; its not the usual resistance that I know will spin out once I find my rhythm because finding my rhythm will be impossible when the pace is as it is. I’m not on the rivet yet, but the pressure foretells my future; no graceful arcs of the pedals, I’ll soon be pedaling squares in search of the power I need to hold the wheel in front of me.
The pitch changes, not steeper but the change disrupts whatever grasp I had on the rhythm and the gap opens a bit. Handlebars are chewed and the gap is closed again, for now. I know it, and the shadow knows it: this is a temporary fix, not a long term solution. The end is coming, but I’m determined to hold it off for as long as possible. The next symptom is that I can’t find a gear that works, I’m shifting constantly, back and forth between the same two gears trying to find the magic ratio that lets me hold the tempo more easily.
All the shifting of gears has broken my concentration and I as I look up I discover I’ve let the wheel go without even noticing it. The shadow reminds me that I hadn’t even cracked yet but I let it go just because I let my tired mind occupy itself with a detail like what gear I’m in when what really matters is pushing on the pedals. The price I pay is more handlebar chewing and clawing back onto the wheel. The effort means the end is just drawn that much closer, but still I will do anything to delay the inevitable.
I’m starting to wonder if I’ve dug too deep already, that if after the inevitable happens will I be able to limit my losses? Maybe the smart thing to do – I try to convince myself – is to let go and find a steady tempo to ride to the top. If I do that, I can probably bridge up on the false flat at the top, or on the descent. Failing that, I’ll catch them back on the flats.
But there is no catching back after letting go; it is the reality of our world. These are just the things we tell ourselves in order to face the harsh reality of getting dropped. The only thing that truly exists is the fact that I will be dropped, and that there will be a long, lonely road home.
The wheel in front moves a few centimeters ahead. I see it and push harder on the pedals but still the gap opens. It is only a meter now, but it might as well be a kilometer; the wheel is gone and I am alone.
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Getting dropped, or as I like to put it, getting shit out the back. Funny thing happened during the Monday evening races we have here in Portlandia. I started out with my usual group (old slow a.k.a Masters 4/5) when about halfway though I decided that the two riders who had just jumped looked like they would make it stick so I tried to bridge up to them for about half a lap. When I realized that I didn't have the strength to get all the way across, I eased up recovered a bit and waited for the bunch. Well, as the next group came through, I accelerated and got back in with the peleton. It took several laps for me to realize I was now riding with the Cat 1/2/3 group. I kept thinking that we were going way faster than before, and where were the guys I knew?. Anyway I managed to stay out of trouble and keep up with the back of the pack until they raised the speed even more for the final lap and sprint. Then I was spit out the back quickly. I did get an education on what the effort feels like to maintain 45k even in the shelter of the peleton. I will try to remember and train more to be able to sustain that level of effort in the future. Getting dropped sometimes provides the motivation for new goals.
@Rob
Chapeau! That's very Rule #4.
@Rob
That is a great example of patience and transformation... Chapeau!
@Marcus
Based on my cured case of dirty schlecky love, I can tell you it is quite easy to overlook such things.
@Beers
SING. IT. BROTHER.
@Ccos
Yeah but amateur racing is also simple: always chase the break. Not so much in pro racing.
@Rob
So awesome! This puts down exactly why cycling is so awesome! You out in the work and a faster rider comes out the other end. Simple as that. I'm in the work stage right now!
thanks for the story and if you really miss getting dropped, there is always a faster group.
Absolutely certain that this will be one of the articles I use to show people what this site's about, fantastic piece Frank.
It's funny though, I'm only now experiencing some of those feelings after nearly 4 years riding with the same guys each weekend. The main reason is that our riding is all about the hills & my starting point (~90kgs on a 182cm frame) was so far behind their abilities as 160cm, 65kg natural climbers that had been riding for quite a few years that I had no hope of even starting to hold on. Now in the high 70's & with 4 years of solid climbing in the guns I get the feeling that I might.just.stay.with.them.today...then snap, there goes the elastic.
Ah well, there's always next weekend.
@Mikael Liddy
I've decided that climbing is less about your strength to weight ratio than it is about your strength to V ratio. Also, always start a climb fast, and finish it fast. As for the middle, ride that fast too! (To paraphrase the prophet)
@frank
Don't go down that road, Frank. I rode with a young buck last summer, who insisted that climbing was all about will. Bullshit: it's all about physics. And a little biology. And throw in some chemistry. Will can keep you turning the pedals beyond your sell-by date, but it won't speed you up the cols. The best thing your will can do for you is to shut off your mind: cogito ergo sunk.
@The Grande Fondue
That one shits me no end. When the rider in front sits up without a thought of the wheels behind. Come-on, give me a wave around before you open up a 2 meter gap, then smile and wave me on. Now I have to close that gap AND the one you were occupying, looser!!