I can can feel his cold breath on my back, like a shadow drifting through an alleyway. He’s not yet upon me, but the Man with the Hammer is lurking nearby. I’m not even sure he has the intention to strike; he’s just staying close, cruelly reminding me that my fate is in his hands.
I feel the heaviness in my legs from the first turns of the pedals as the road tilts upwards; its not the usual resistance that I know will spin out once I find my rhythm because finding my rhythm will be impossible when the pace is as it is. I’m not on the rivet yet, but the pressure foretells my future; no graceful arcs of the pedals, I’ll soon be pedaling squares in search of the power I need to hold the wheel in front of me.
The pitch changes, not steeper but the change disrupts whatever grasp I had on the rhythm and the gap opens a bit. Handlebars are chewed and the gap is closed again, for now. I know it, and the shadow knows it: this is a temporary fix, not a long term solution. The end is coming, but I’m determined to hold it off for as long as possible. The next symptom is that I can’t find a gear that works, I’m shifting constantly, back and forth between the same two gears trying to find the magic ratio that lets me hold the tempo more easily.
All the shifting of gears has broken my concentration and I as I look up I discover I’ve let the wheel go without even noticing it. The shadow reminds me that I hadn’t even cracked yet but I let it go just because I let my tired mind occupy itself with a detail like what gear I’m in when what really matters is pushing on the pedals. The price I pay is more handlebar chewing and clawing back onto the wheel. The effort means the end is just drawn that much closer, but still I will do anything to delay the inevitable.
I’m starting to wonder if I’ve dug too deep already, that if after the inevitable happens will I be able to limit my losses? Maybe the smart thing to do – I try to convince myself – is to let go and find a steady tempo to ride to the top. If I do that, I can probably bridge up on the false flat at the top, or on the descent. Failing that, I’ll catch them back on the flats.
But there is no catching back after letting go; it is the reality of our world. These are just the things we tell ourselves in order to face the harsh reality of getting dropped. The only thing that truly exists is the fact that I will be dropped, and that there will be a long, lonely road home.
The wheel in front moves a few centimeters ahead. I see it and push harder on the pedals but still the gap opens. It is only a meter now, but it might as well be a kilometer; the wheel is gone and I am alone.
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View Comments
@Steampunk
Obviously you have a problem with your willpower. You might want to change up for some VVillpower.
@frank
We'll come back to this equation when Cuddles & Nairo start tackling the big 'uns in the next few weeks.
@Lukas
Doesn't riding with another bunch also earn you disqualification? It does around here at least.
@Puffy Indeed it does.
Since I didn't notice right away and wait for my proper group I was DQ'd. Once I realized, I figured the experience of hanging in with the faster riders was a good learning experience. Painful, but educational.
@wiscot
I'm spoiled in Belgium. I ride with a regular club out of vossem that is normally between 60-80 guys split in 3 groups. You have your (don't tell them) old guy group who averages 25-26 but mainly want to enjoy their ride. I come from a triathlon background in florida, so it was great to be able to start with such a large group to learn the ins and outs at a reasonable speed. A lot easier to learn the basic directions in vlaams, curses, techniques not to wreck the peleton when you aren't constantly on the rivet. You then have two other groups averaging 27-30 and 30-33kmh depending on the course and who shows up that day.
It's a particularly large club, and very friendly and organized, but then again it feels like here almost every village has a group of 30-40 cyclist who do at least club rides every weekend. If the group you are with aren't to your taste (tried a local club who averaged 19kmh for the first 15km!!) the sure answer is just to wait 30 mins and join another group who passes you. Great for developing your pursuit skills chasing them down at 50kmh. The belgian motorists will even normally let you get a friendly draft to help you back to the group.
I am curious as to the difference in riding between here and the states. 90km with 6-700m elevation at 30kmh average.....what cat level does that equates to in the US? I firmly feel its a much higher level here, but not sure how much of that is just how MANY people ride at a higher level. I never found such large groups of similar ability and purpose in the US. But I am also riding post accident, so everything is harder now.
Excellent @frank. Portrayed how most of my rides are ridden. Sometimes I even drop myself on solo rides.
Maintaining consistent form is sometimes as difficult as maintaining a wheel at the back of a ever faster bunch ride.
Some days your "cock of the roost" then next and more often than not, you're the feather duster.
I get shitty at myself for getting dropped. Must work harder during the week!
@Dave R
We don't have a Suffering monopoly for sure. Can't speak for running or climbing, but skiing had a limit to how much you could suffer - at a point the compression of snow keeps a lid on the suffering. The bike is limited only by how hard we go.
And wow, the Steve House?
@Lukas
Yes, take the DQ over your shitty official position and learn from better riders. Good work.
@Rob
The conventional knowledge is it is a higher level in Belgium, but those numbers don't sound crazy. We did 100km and 2020 meters in San Francisco last weekend at 25-28 and that was just a book signing ride not a race. I think the big difference in Belgium is the depth and my feeling is the races start fast, get easier, and then go ballistic for the finale. All this said with the authority of someone who has neither lived nor raced in Belgium.
@frank
Yup that says it all. When I beat a whole pack of guys up a climb on my entry level aluminum, it's usually not because I'm lighter but have the motivation to put in that last push to the top. Never say die.