Maui Pavé photo by Strack

Rule #34-Mountain bike shoes have their place-on a mountain bike.

During our very recent Cogal I gained some on-the-road insight on Rule #34. We were on a part of the route I have never ridden on a bike and had no memory of. The pavement was pavé, Maui-style. Somewhere deep down below the surface of the road was primordial road, patched with only scoopfuls of asphalt over the years until the surface is completely dimpled with mango sized mounds of road. This was good and expected. The Roubaix technique of big charinring (ahemmm, errrr, 50 tooth), powering along, keeping the weight on the pedals and handlebars had us making good progress through some of Maui’s most remote country. And it was raining and there was cow manure to ride over…almost Northern France.

I came around a bend and hit a steep berg. The tilted road kept curving right so it was impossible to know when it ended but it couldn’t end soon enough for me. I was quickly in the worst of straits: out of gears, out of the saddle and fully gassed with no end in sight. There were still two people behind me that had to be looking to get by; they could not possibly be going slower. I was unintentionally weaving over the pavé as my complete focus was on keeping the bike up and not hitting a hole or a bump big enough to stop me dead.

Totally redlined on a climb that has no immediate end in sight, these are the worst and best times for a cyclists. If you let your back wheel slip, you stop and the foot goes down, unacceptable. If you just say basta, pull on your brakes and put down your feet, that is worse. I assume all cyclists feel this way. If you are on the Koppenberg someone better have blocked your way. No one gets off halfway up that and says, nah, I’d rather walk. If I have a heart attack trying to ride up something horrible, that might be better than the alternative.

“He wasn’t the brightest, but he didn’t put his foot down”.

It is the best time for a cyclists simply because given all alternatives, there are none, it’s Rule #5. No need to think, better not to think, just keep it going up.

If I did put my foot down on a shiny, wet, steep berg, what then? I have speedplay cleats and those aren’t getting me anywhere if I’m not on a bike. No cleat covers that day so I would be laying down my sweet steed, sitting on this hill while I take my shoes off? That is not going to happen.

The only way my putting a foot down that would not end in a bad nickname for life would be if I was wearing mtb shoes. No one needs that temptation. Looking past the obvious reasons for Rule #34: the mtb shoe-cleat connection is sloppy, mtb shoes look lame on road riders and we are riders, not walkers is the cruel temptation to put a foot down and push the bike up to the top of a hill. This is something no one needs in their time of need.

 

Gianni

Gianni has left the building.

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  • @Deakus - I've also entered the London - Edinburgh in two days with @upthetrossachs at he start of May to get me in the mood - I mean how hard can it be?

  • Great, great, simply great article!  Some (fools be they) may doubt the Rules at times, but there are solid reasons behind them and this illustrates that point beautifully.  Well done Gianni!

  • @the Engine Is that an organised event or just something the two of you are doing for fun? Sounds like just the sort of target I need to get kick started. Is there a web page?

  • Awright, this pic made me think of a question I need help with. (Threadjack warning)

    I am reasonably familiar with the idea of a bike race. You start at point A, plan to go to point B. Shorterst time to do that wins. Yay. Easy. Also reasonably easy is tomorrow you go from B to C; again shortest time wins, but also shortest overall time from A to C is now a winner too. Yay. Simple. Even NASCAR fans can understand this. Only slightly more complicated is the points (we give points in decending order at a fixed place on the route. Think pinball. Easy) and the polka dots (race a short segment between aprime and bprime up the side of a mountain. Easy.)

    Now here's where eightzero gets confused: while I've done each of the above in some fashion, I hear there is a thing called "cyclocross." This is apparently done in laps from point A to point A again (kinda like a time trial, a version of the above where B is colocated with A) and again. But apparently we don;t know how many times we are supposed to go to A? And worse, there is not a support vehicle behind you with a spare kike, but a "pit." Maybe it's just me, but I can see spending a lot of time in the "pit" simply drinking. And to make things worse, there is this concept of a "criterium" that is like "cyclocross" but is done on roads with less mud. Cyclcross also seems to have some pretty unintelligent people planning them, because they lay the laps out in places with steps and fences in them. Weird.

    And while I hate to admit it, the Velomenati.com site is a place of locus poententae for me. I've actually heald a USAC racing license for one day to do that "crierium" thing. I understood you go as fast as you can around these laps. End of what I understood. Afterwards I decided it was one of the most dangerous things I ever did and vowed never to return.

    Surely there is a link that explans how these "races" work? I mean, I like races, and want to appreciate them. But, I'm old now, so I won't be participating.

    We return you now to your regularly scheudled and much more interesting thread.

  • @the Engine

    @Deakus - I've also entered the London - Edinburgh in two days with @upthetrossachs at he start of May to get me in the mood - I mean how hard can it be?

    You in the draw...or have confirmed entry?, it's been really well publicised.  Personally I am so far off peaking as to be unfunny.  I rang my surgeons PA today in tears pleading with her to sleep with him or me or I will sleep with him if I must and get me back on the bike.  The turbo trainer is sapping my will to live....and my arse (ass for those over the pond).  It's been 10 weeks and I have to go 12 but I can't do this indoor shit any longer.

    Apparently he will call me back Monday.....good luck on your travels, I suspect I might be somewhere close to riding form by about September.....I would give you an unsmiley emoticon, but the abuse I would get would probably send me in to prozac territory...the best I can look forward to at present is tomorrows pyramid set on the turbo and a curry to comfort me in my sorrow.

  • @Deakus

    @the Engine

    @Deakus - I've also entered the London - Edinburgh in two days with @upthetrossachs at he start of May to get me in the mood - I mean how hard can it be?

    You in the draw...or have confirmed entry?, it's been really well publicised. Personally I am so far off peaking as to be unfunny. I rang my surgeons PA today in tears pleading with her to sleep with him or me or I will sleep with him if I must and get me back on the bike. The turbo trainer is sapping my will to live....and my arse (ass for those over the pond). It's been 10 weeks and I have to go 12 but I can't do this indoor shit any longer.

    Apparently he will call me back Monday.....good luck on your travels, I suspect I might be somewhere close to riding form by about September.....I would give you an unsmiley emoticon, but the abuse I would get would probably send me in to prozac territory...the best I can look forward to at present is tomorrows pyramid set on the turbo and a curry to comfort me in my sorrow.

    I've a confirmed entry as does @upthetrossachs - there's a four day version over the same course running Friday Monday if you can chuck a leg over for 160kms a day. Obviously any Velominati taking part will be bought a hoppy recovery beverage in Edinburgh by me. I wasn't aware that it was oversubscribed but hey as you know, where I go others follow - colon, hyphen, close brackets.

    I'll sleep with the PA if it helps.

  • In my recent climbing up some very large hills I had to stop for as fellow rider in our group. The particular hill we have named "oh fuck hill" because as you round a lovely bend there it magically appears in front of you. It's namesake escapes everyone's lips as they realise the only way is up. Lucky the girl who stopped had stopped for a very good reason. Lucky for her in that in didn't kill her or just make her roll back to the bottom ad begin it again.

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