I feel it in my bones. I feel it in my breathing. I fixate on how much I feel it in my legs to the point where I find myself in a meeting, rubbing them to gauge how soft they’ve gotten. (Must learn to stop doing that in public as it can’t possibly improve my social standing. I’m tempted to cite the fact that I’m a Cyclist and it is normal in our circles, but I’m afraid that will only serve to drag the rest of you down with me rather than prove my case.)
For most uf us, life gets in the way of Cycling when we’re not careful to ensure it doesn’t, and having a goal sketched out before you can be helpful in keeping focus. In the run-up to Keepers Tour, I managed to stay disciplined and make room in my schedule to get on the bike regularly enough to get fit. But goals also have the effect of leaving a void once attained. In the aftermath of the trip, I’ve been hopelessly caught between conflicting priorities as I struggle to catch up after those few weeks away; without a goal in sight to make sure the bike gets assigned its due importance, I find myself riding the bike less than I’ve become accustomed to.
Of course, I do find satisfaction with each ride I manage to get out on, and I take comfort in the knowledge that things will settle down again and balance will be restored. It is during these times, however, when the feeling in my legs, lungs, and bones serve to constantly remind me that I’m a little less fit than I was yesterday that I realize what the bicycle is: an addiction.
I don’t want to speak for anyone else, but I wouldn’t be able to make a convincing argument against anyone classifying me as having an addictive personality. And, based on the assumption that you’re reading this and relate on some level to what I’m saying, then you probably have one, too; it seems to be a bit of an occupational hazard for the Velominati. Consider the following from WikiPedia, which represents a body of work by people whose credibility and identity is impossible to verify. Everything but the bit about “weak commitment” and “stress” rings true:
An individual is considered to be at the risk of developing…addictions when he/she displays signs of impulsive behavior, nonconformity combined with a weak commitment to the goals for achievement valued by the society, a sense of social alienation, and a sense of heightened stress. Such a person may switch from one addiction to another; or even sustain multiple addictions at different times.
The article goes on to define this condition as a “brain desease”. That sounds more “insulting” than it does “scientific”, but I have no choice but to submit to the authority of those whose credibility I can’t disprove. So, in the face of an overwhelming lack of evidence of being incorrect, it has to be assumed that we (or at least I) have broken brains, though as I write this I suppose this fact shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone who has been paying any attention at all. On the other hand, we already aspire to be heroin-thin, so I suppose it’s fitting that we have an addiction to go along with the appearance.
Having told you now what you presumably already knew, I’ll close with the following sentiment: so long as I’m destined to be addicted to something, I’m glad it is Cycling, which I consider to be something healthy and positive, instead of something destructive like crack or reading.
Vive la Vie Velominatus.
I know as well as any of you that I've been checked out lately, kind…
Peter Sagan has undergone quite the transformation over the years; starting as a brash and…
The Women's road race has to be my favorite one-day road race after Paris-Roubaix and…
Holy fuckballs. I've never been this late ever on a VSP. I mean, I've missed…
This week we are currently in is the most boring week of the year. After…
I have memories of my life before Cycling, but as the years wear slowly on…
View Comments
What an great article frank, you really have excelled yourself. I don't know where you get this stuff from but it really strikes a chord, after a long, hard ride yesterday with plenty of v that left me lying on the floor with my eyes closed for a few minutes i am thankful that cycling is my addiction.
@mcsqueak
Completely agree. I have no idea how this happens, but I feel less like doing anything when I come home from my office job than when I come home from doing construction or landscaping.
Where is the line between pursuing something that seemingly brings you lots of positive things, despite risk of negative outcomes that you probably ignore, and being addicted to it?
I came across some research recently that says that people who exercise a lot, are actually at a higher risk of falling into other addictions. It's about the order. Starting to exercise can help you get over addictions, but if you have exercised for a long time, you are at risk of getting addicted to other things.
How Exercise Can Prime the Brain for Addiction, NYT, April 11, 2012
A 55-hour a week job with travel, and a family with 2 small kids keeps me in check.
This cycling addiction feels like destiny. And glad to reach the point where it is all or nothing. Without cycling would feel like nothing. I would be nothing without my kids, my wife, my work, and I would not be the same without cycling.
@Simon
Classic withdrawl symtoms, matey.
Exceptionally strong work. Welcome back!
@MJ Moquin
That feeling of exhaustion is the feeling of your soul being slowly crushed into a fine powder. Happens to all of us. Nothing even a quick jaunt on the bike won't fix.
@Fredrik
Interesting, and without having read that (yet) it doesn't surprise me much that this might be the case. I wonder, though, how much of that is just that people who really get into exercise are already inclined to addiction.
@frank
Thank you, sir!
@eightzero
That is a thing of beauty, man!
@ChrisO
You are, as we say in 12-step meetings, a "normie". I find that to be a great quality. Enjoy it until senility steps in. =)
@minion
Okay, I thought I was bad, trying for the Strava Twice the Tour challenge and spending 4+ hours a day trying to get my minimum mileage in... (until being forced to take a rest day) This guy is completely mental. I'd hate to see what happens when (not if, but WHEN) he gets injured.
@Cyclops
Mother's Day, Schmother's Day. I went out and rode 106 miles. (I did, however, have dinner with mum the day before.)
@Xyverz
Sorry for the Rule 24 violation. That should have read 171km.
Hi, My name is Fred, and I'm an Velominaddict.
Step 1) We admitted our guns were powerless, and that our lives had become unmanageable without The Rules.
Step 2) Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves (The V) could restore us.
Step 3) Made a decision to turn our will and our rides over to the care of The Keepers as if we understood The Five and Dime.
Step 4) Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of our Guns.
Step 5) Admitted to , to ourselves and to another Velominati the exact nature of our weakness.
Step 6) Were entirely ready to have The Keepers point out all these defects of cycling etiquette.
Step 7) Humbly asked Fränk to forgive our Rule Violations.
Step 8) Made a list of all cyclists we had harmed (Rule #2 & #3)and became willing to make it up to them at the next Cogal.
Step 9) Made direct amends to said cyclists with a Recovery Beverage, except when to do so would be also be a Rule #43 violation.
Step 10) Continued to take personal inventory of our Guns when we were weak promptly admitted it and went for a Rule #9 ride.
Step 11)Sought through meditation on Rule #10 to improve our Guns and understanding of being a Hardman, praying only for course knowledge of the the next ride and The V to Ride like a Lion!
Step 12) Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of The Rules, we tried to carry this message to other cyclists, and to practice these principles on all of our Rides.
A-Merckx