I feel it in my bones. I feel it in my breathing. I fixate on how much I feel it in my legs to the point where I find myself in a meeting, rubbing them to gauge how soft they’ve gotten. (Must learn to stop doing that in public as it can’t possibly improve my social standing. I’m tempted to cite the fact that I’m a Cyclist and it is normal in our circles, but I’m afraid that will only serve to drag the rest of you down with me rather than prove my case.)
For most uf us, life gets in the way of Cycling when we’re not careful to ensure it doesn’t, and having a goal sketched out before you can be helpful in keeping focus. In the run-up to Keepers Tour, I managed to stay disciplined and make room in my schedule to get on the bike regularly enough to get fit. But goals also have the effect of leaving a void once attained. In the aftermath of the trip, I’ve been hopelessly caught between conflicting priorities as I struggle to catch up after those few weeks away; without a goal in sight to make sure the bike gets assigned its due importance, I find myself riding the bike less than I’ve become accustomed to.
Of course, I do find satisfaction with each ride I manage to get out on, and I take comfort in the knowledge that things will settle down again and balance will be restored. It is during these times, however, when the feeling in my legs, lungs, and bones serve to constantly remind me that I’m a little less fit than I was yesterday that I realize what the bicycle is: an addiction.
I don’t want to speak for anyone else, but I wouldn’t be able to make a convincing argument against anyone classifying me as having an addictive personality. And, based on the assumption that you’re reading this and relate on some level to what I’m saying, then you probably have one, too; it seems to be a bit of an occupational hazard for the Velominati. Consider the following from WikiPedia, which represents a body of work by people whose credibility and identity is impossible to verify. Everything but the bit about “weak commitment” and “stress” rings true:
An individual is considered to be at the risk of developing…addictions when he/she displays signs of impulsive behavior, nonconformity combined with a weak commitment to the goals for achievement valued by the society, a sense of social alienation, and a sense of heightened stress. Such a person may switch from one addiction to another; or even sustain multiple addictions at different times.
The article goes on to define this condition as a “brain desease”. That sounds more “insulting” than it does “scientific”, but I have no choice but to submit to the authority of those whose credibility I can’t disprove. So, in the face of an overwhelming lack of evidence of being incorrect, it has to be assumed that we (or at least I) have broken brains, though as I write this I suppose this fact shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone who has been paying any attention at all. On the other hand, we already aspire to be heroin-thin, so I suppose it’s fitting that we have an addiction to go along with the appearance.
Having told you now what you presumably already knew, I’ll close with the following sentiment: so long as I’m destined to be addicted to something, I’m glad it is Cycling, which I consider to be something healthy and positive, instead of something destructive like crack or reading.
Vive la Vie Velominatus.
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View Comments
@frank
I like about 5 minutes of light warmup but that's it. Cycling has always been best for me when I live near the base of a hill and I can have a decent climb right away. To this day it feels weird to me to go on a ride that's flat from the start for any significant distance.
@frank
For the last few days I've been having issues with the comment feed on the right side of the page -- it doesn't update, or won't load more history when I click on "Older." Not sure if this is all of a piece.
@Steampunk
Yeah that's the downside of my area, there are hills if I *want* them, but plenty of flat to tempt me into being a lazy bum. Some days I'm compelled to hit a climb and then move on to the next one, and other days I just sort of feel meh about them, and wuss out. And since climbing is one of my many weaknesses, that is not the best for personal development on the bike!
@mcsqueak
Well, not all climbs are equal, and I'll be the first to confess that I rarely take the hardest climbs out of the valley as consistently as I should. I am, however, forced to get the heart rate up reasonably quickly. And less steep usually means greater distance.
Actually, it's funny: on a couple of recent rides out of town"”the Wisconsin mini-Cogal and recently down near Hamilton, NY"”I found I wasn't quite right, and realized I hadn't taken in a decent-sized hill to get the ride started. Once I'd got a bit of climbing in my legs, the rest of the ride sorted itself out. I think @frank's comment is about right: breaking through that first wall early helps the body to adjust to the rigours of a hard ride.
@frank
Not so much a need for a warm up (although i always do ten minutes easy to start a ride) but it usually takes about thirty minutes before the the rush of endorphins hits me like something from "the Needle and the Damage Done". I usually push pretty hard after the first ten minutes, but that euphoric wave at around thirty minutes is stunning to me. Total junkie right here, man.
I've been finding that if I take 30mins to warm up I end up just slacking.
Got a job for the summer with 48hr/wk probably do an hour over everyday so more like 54, no clue how I'm going to feel for riding next week.
Hi, my name's il ciclista and I'm an addict ("hi Ciclista" chorus from the rest of the Velominati).
I've had this habit for nearly 30 yrs now with no sign of ever being close to being "clean". Sure, I've had some short periods where I haven't fed that habit. I even put the weight back on but, sure as the sun comes up, I'm back looking to "get on" as soon as possible. My family has spoken to me about the "problem" to no avail....
Mrs. Ciclista has told me I would rather spend more time "gettin' on the gear" than getting on her (wink, wink! This is highly debatable by the way!).
I've spent hours on the stuff at a time. I can't help it, the highs are just too good. The come down after a really good sesh' can be debilitating but I'm back at it the next day as soon as I can get on. I reckon I've spent thousands upon thousands of dollars on the stuff over the years. Sure, I've got something to show for it but I can never get enough. I need to score more and more constantly. I have "dealers" everywhere ready and willing to sell me more shit. Fuck, I can even order this shit on-line without anyone even knowing what the fuck I'm doing or what I look like! I even watch other people doing this shit live on-line as well (yes, yes, go harder, faster, oh god, don't stop you fucker) just to satisfy the craving.
Will my addiction ever stop? Merckx, I hope not nor do I need help. I just want to live my life the way it suits me and enjoying my habit till my dying days. In fact, if I was to OD whilst on the gear, then my life will not have been wasted at all.
thank you all.
(some sobs, some cheers and some nods in agreement from the Velominati)
Behold, the v-cog bar plug goodness:
Hear hear!
Addiction is a bitch. And so is withdrawal!
In the months leading up to my unit's deployment to Afghanistan, I felt the year-long void approaching my guns, the enormous gravity of which breeds an anxiety one can only classify as a "known unknown." It seemed only with this looming withdrawal was I able to get some decent mileage in, setting aside [if only partially] the daily excessive alcohol intake which is virtually codified in the service contract of a lower-enlisted Infantryman.
And here I am, 6 months in - the halfway point. Somehow, withdrawal has not gotten any easier. In fact, it's much worse. Somehow, I am more addicted now than ever before. 6 months of tax-free earnings and hazardous duty pay - nearly entirely squandered on a mountainous bounty of cycling goods awaiting my return to the states. Every night, while my comrades are calling their loved ones on the satellite phone, there I am on the computer next to the phone, researching ever-more hair-brained fantasies of possible minute reconfigurations of the bike build I've already finalized after ump-teen hours of research, revision, and ebay purchasing. And yet I still don't know - will the saddle I chose be a vicious ass-hatchet, or a proper Velominatus Throne? How horribly will I mess up my first tubular glue job? White cable housing or black? Cross them under the downtube or preserve angle of entry into BB cable guide? Perhaps these bidons will match the frame better. And oh, looky, a SLAM THAT STEM headset bearing cover... It never ends.
In two weeks I'll be back home for 15 days of R&R - hardly enough time to tune-up the guns, but enough time to build up this dream steed, take in a deep drag from the The V pipe, and get spit off the back of a training crit. Relapse has never sounded so good.
I might as well be Tyrone Biggums with a crack rock dangling from a stick in front of my face.
@eightzero
Sweet!
@il ciclista medio
Testify!