I feel it in my bones. I feel it in my breathing. I fixate on how much I feel it in my legs to the point where I find myself in a meeting, rubbing them to gauge how soft they’ve gotten. (Must learn to stop doing that in public as it can’t possibly improve my social standing. I’m tempted to cite the fact that I’m a Cyclist and it is normal in our circles, but I’m afraid that will only serve to drag the rest of you down with me rather than prove my case.)
For most uf us, life gets in the way of Cycling when we’re not careful to ensure it doesn’t, and having a goal sketched out before you can be helpful in keeping focus. In the run-up to Keepers Tour, I managed to stay disciplined and make room in my schedule to get on the bike regularly enough to get fit. But goals also have the effect of leaving a void once attained. In the aftermath of the trip, I’ve been hopelessly caught between conflicting priorities as I struggle to catch up after those few weeks away; without a goal in sight to make sure the bike gets assigned its due importance, I find myself riding the bike less than I’ve become accustomed to.
Of course, I do find satisfaction with each ride I manage to get out on, and I take comfort in the knowledge that things will settle down again and balance will be restored. It is during these times, however, when the feeling in my legs, lungs, and bones serve to constantly remind me that I’m a little less fit than I was yesterday that I realize what the bicycle is: an addiction.
I don’t want to speak for anyone else, but I wouldn’t be able to make a convincing argument against anyone classifying me as having an addictive personality. And, based on the assumption that you’re reading this and relate on some level to what I’m saying, then you probably have one, too; it seems to be a bit of an occupational hazard for the Velominati. Consider the following from WikiPedia, which represents a body of work by people whose credibility and identity is impossible to verify. Everything but the bit about “weak commitment” and “stress” rings true:
An individual is considered to be at the risk of developing…addictions when he/she displays signs of impulsive behavior, nonconformity combined with a weak commitment to the goals for achievement valued by the society, a sense of social alienation, and a sense of heightened stress. Such a person may switch from one addiction to another; or even sustain multiple addictions at different times.
The article goes on to define this condition as a “brain desease”. That sounds more “insulting” than it does “scientific”, but I have no choice but to submit to the authority of those whose credibility I can’t disprove. So, in the face of an overwhelming lack of evidence of being incorrect, it has to be assumed that we (or at least I) have broken brains, though as I write this I suppose this fact shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone who has been paying any attention at all. On the other hand, we already aspire to be heroin-thin, so I suppose it’s fitting that we have an addiction to go along with the appearance.
Having told you now what you presumably already knew, I’ll close with the following sentiment: so long as I’m destined to be addicted to something, I’m glad it is Cycling, which I consider to be something healthy and positive, instead of something destructive like crack or reading.
Vive la Vie Velominatus.
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A-Merckx. The most resonant piece you've written Frank.
I'm in a similar lull at the moment. With such a great late winter and spring here in the mid-Atlantic, I definitely over trained this spring, and then took a week off and have been slow to get started back up. I call it the "Boonen Plan", work hard through spring, take a break till May, then get back on the bike again for the summer. Sadly I've cut back a bit too much, and now the goal of the 200 on 100 is approaching a bit too quickly. Riding slightly over 110k tomorrow for my first serious distance ride in longer than I'd like. The weather hasn't been cooperating much either. Last two Tuesday rides have been cancelled due to the weather (I'd have gone alone but the front shifter has failed on the rain bike, haven't gotten a replacement yet).
Noteworthy and even noble. It is what it is.
As a recovering addict with 16+ years clean and sober, I'm going to just say this: after my battle with chemical dependancy, cycling is a FAR better focus for me than the substances ever were. =)
@King Clydesdale
Even though we endure this cycle (no pun) again and again, we feel the reward, the rush of knowing when "we are back baby!"
Spot on frank. It's that addictive nature in me that had me hop on the rollers and bang out a quick 2 x 20 this afternoon after having been out flailing into a headwind this morning. when it's on it's on.
Right on! That resonates loudly for me too! I've had a bad run of illness over winter and early spring and am not where I'd like to be.
To remedy matters I've taken to filling the gaps in my diary with the name of my bike so if a student asks to reschedule and they see my diary the assume I have a student called 'Gialma' on Tuesday and Thursday mornings.
Right there with you, Frank. I have such an addictive personality it scares me. It scared me to never try drugs b/c I know that I would love them too much and would not be able to walk away. But I have no doubt that I am addicted to the endorphins. Every ride, right around the 30 minute mark, I get such a "rush" and I feel like I am floating and everything becomes right in the world. Sooo definable and even a bit scary but it's true. But, that being said, I would not trade it for anything. If I have to pick my poison, let it be cycling, and give me another shot of that endorphin while you're at it!
@Buck Rogers
I get a similar thing at the 30 minute mark, Buck. That's usually about the point in my rides where I'm finally warmed up enough to start enjoying the pain and suffering and get a good look at the scenery as I ride.
If you're looking for the next goal, it sounds like a trip to Vermont at the end of June might help to feed the fire. Just sayin'...
Another similarity is that you get all itchy, fidgety, and irritable if you don't get your fix often enough. I've only had the chance for one short ride this week, and I'm going out of my mind thinking about my long ride planned for tomorrow.