La Vie Velominatus: Addiction
I feel it in my bones. I feel it in my breathing. I fixate on how much I feel it in my legs to the point where I find myself in a meeting, rubbing them to gauge how soft they’ve gotten. (Must learn to stop doing that in public as it can’t possibly improve my social standing. I’m tempted to cite the fact that I’m a Cyclist and it is normal in our circles, but I’m afraid that will only serve to drag the rest of you down with me rather than prove my case.)
For most uf us, life gets in the way of Cycling when we’re not careful to ensure it doesn’t, and having a goal sketched out before you can be helpful in keeping focus. In the run-up to Keepers Tour, I managed to stay disciplined and make room in my schedule to get on the bike regularly enough to get fit. But goals also have the effect of leaving a void once attained. In the aftermath of the trip, I’ve been hopelessly caught between conflicting priorities as I struggle to catch up after those few weeks away; without a goal in sight to make sure the bike gets assigned its due importance, I find myself riding the bike less than I’ve become accustomed to.
Of course, I do find satisfaction with each ride I manage to get out on, and I take comfort in the knowledge that things will settle down again and balance will be restored. It is during these times, however, when the feeling in my legs, lungs, and bones serve to constantly remind me that I’m a little less fit than I was yesterday that I realize what the bicycle is: an addiction.
I don’t want to speak for anyone else, but I wouldn’t be able to make a convincing argument against anyone classifying me as having an addictive personality. And, based on the assumption that you’re reading this and relate on some level to what I’m saying, then you probably have one, too; it seems to be a bit of an occupational hazard for the Velominati. Consider the following from WikiPedia, which represents a body of work by people whose credibility and identity is impossible to verify. Everything but the bit about “weak commitment” and “stress” rings true:
An individual is considered to be at the risk of developing…addictions when he/she displays signs of impulsive behavior, nonconformity combined with a weak commitment to the goals for achievement valued by the society, a sense of social alienation, and a sense of heightened stress. Such a person may switch from one addiction to another; or even sustain multiple addictions at different times.
The article goes on to define this condition as a “brain desease”. That sounds more “insulting” than it does “scientific”, but I have no choice but to submit to the authority of those whose credibility I can’t disprove. So, in the face of an overwhelming lack of evidence of being incorrect, it has to be assumed that we (or at least I) have broken brains, though as I write this I suppose this fact shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone who has been paying any attention at all. On the other hand, we already aspire to be heroin-thin, so I suppose it’s fitting that we have an addiction to go along with the appearance.
Having told you now what you presumably already knew, I’ll close with the following sentiment: so long as I’m destined to be addicted to something, I’m glad it is Cycling, which I consider to be something healthy and positive, instead of something destructive like crack or reading.
Vive la Vie Velominatus.
A-Merckx. The most resonant piece you’ve written Frank.
I’m in a similar lull at the moment. With such a great late winter and spring here in the mid-Atlantic, I definitely over trained this spring, and then took a week off and have been slow to get started back up. I call it the “Boonen Plan”, work hard through spring, take a break till May, then get back on the bike again for the summer. Sadly I’ve cut back a bit too much, and now the goal of the 200 on 100 is approaching a bit too quickly. Riding slightly over 110k tomorrow for my first serious distance ride in longer than I’d like. The weather hasn’t been cooperating much either. Last two Tuesday rides have been cancelled due to the weather (I’d have gone alone but the front shifter has failed on the rain bike, haven’t gotten a replacement yet).
Noteworthy and even noble. It is what it is.
As a recovering addict with 16+ years clean and sober, I’m going to just say this: after my battle with chemical dependancy, cycling is a FAR better focus for me than the substances ever were. =)
@King Clydesdale
Even though we endure this cycle (no pun) again and again, we feel the reward, the rush of knowing when “we are back baby!”
Spot on frank. It’s that addictive nature in me that had me hop on the rollers and bang out a quick 2 x 20 this afternoon after having been out flailing into a headwind this morning. when it’s on it’s on.
Right on! That resonates loudly for me too! I’ve had a bad run of illness over winter and early spring and am not where I’d like to be.
To remedy matters I’ve taken to filling the gaps in my diary with the name of my bike so if a student asks to reschedule and they see my diary the assume I have a student called ‘Gialma’ on Tuesday and Thursday mornings.
Right there with you, Frank. I have such an addictive personality it scares me. It scared me to never try drugs b/c I know that I would love them too much and would not be able to walk away. But I have no doubt that I am addicted to the endorphins. Every ride, right around the 30 minute mark, I get such a “rush” and I feel like I am floating and everything becomes right in the world. Sooo definable and even a bit scary but it’s true. But, that being said, I would not trade it for anything. If I have to pick my poison, let it be cycling, and give me another shot of that endorphin while you’re at it!
@Buck Rogers
I get a similar thing at the 30 minute mark, Buck. That’s usually about the point in my rides where I’m finally warmed up enough to start enjoying the pain and suffering and get a good look at the scenery as I ride.
If you’re looking for the next goal, it sounds like a trip to Vermont at the end of June might help to feed the fire. Just sayin’…
Another similarity is that you get all itchy, fidgety, and irritable if you don’t get your fix often enough. I’ve only had the chance for one short ride this week, and I’m going out of my mind thinking about my long ride planned for tomorrow.
@Steampunk
+1!!!
A-Merckx to that, brother. You have put words to my world.
Why can’t they understand our predicament? It’s almost as if they think we can control this.
VLVV
This addiction we have is most noticeable during times of turmoil in our lives. During the last few months we sold our home and bought an under construction home back in the town we are from. Among all of the details (including trying to find employment) the one thing that has been a constant is the ride, and yes it helps that a goal is in sight but I would have to ride to avoid going insane anyway. So the addiction, which is insanity in itself just helps us not be insane in other ways.
In April, the VMH and I went to NYC for a long weekend, returning in the wee hours on Monday. Of course, I had to take Monday off, not just because work would have sucked due to the late arrival home, but so I could get in my–albeit a day delayed–weekend ride.
If this is addition, make mine a double!
Nice one, Frank! Can’t believe you find the time to keep on writing great pieces.
I’m definitely addicted to cycling. I need a sport to keep me in balance. Growing up I was addicted to the sport of lacrosse; it was the main passion in my life from the age of 7 until I was 22. A few years after college, years during which I was without a good sporting addiction, I began riding a road bike because I was too impatient to wait for buses and trains to get me around. Nine years later, here I am. VLVV.
And, my addiction to cycling has not always been healthy. I’ve been riding so much the past few years that I became the type of lazy, unproductive graduate student that I strongly dislike. I wouldn’t do enough work and to feel as if I’d accomplished something I’d go ride for hours. I’m now forcing myself to only ride every other day so I can finally finish coming down the home stretch. I’ve come to terms with it as well. In eight weeks would I rather be nearly done or a bit faster? For the past few years it has been faster. But now I see that a few weeks of discipline & distance from the bike will pay off nicely. And heck, I’ll still have a few weeks to get in shape for Le Tour!
Okay, now back to work.
I realized how much I sympathize with this article when I noticed my hand was squeezing my quads without thinking. Mine have grown soft this month, too.
It’s the people around you that make you realise how bad it gets or how bad it already is. I thought I was addicted to motorbikes, I’ve always been addicted to riding off road (motorised or not) but in the last 3 years road cycling has sucked me in to the point where my wife said ‘you’ve changed’ !!
And like the KT attendees, after a trip of 8 straight days of glorious riding all I worry about is losing fitness and getting out for a decent ride
Such is this life seemingly
Still haven’t shave my legs tho….
Took my “addiction” to the next level.
After seeing the pictures of the V-crew at the Merckx velodrome i was intriqued to give it a go myself
3 weeks ago i went to the track for the first time , rented a bike and tried not to make an ass of myself but enjoyed the experience
Fast forward to today, weather has been shit all week and i got carried away …. got my first 65 km on my very first personal track bike during a 2 hour session ; i am baffeled by the ease at wich you can ride 40 kph for 50 minutes on just one gear
Next goal, shed the equivalent of a keg of beer in weight and get myself in some sort of climbing condition , i booked a 3 day trip to the Stelvio mid September .
I feel bad for you guys.
I managed to double my time spent in the saddle, double my kms ridden, and tripled my meters climbed in April this year vs April last year.
PRIORITIES PEOPLE! Work? Family? Pffft. Rule #11.
Stop enabling me, you pack of junkies!!
…like crack or reading.
Or spending too much time chatting on the internet with other men who shave their legs and wear tight lycra.
Or waiting for yet another entertaining fight between @minion and @Marcus.
Or watching bike racing live on my computer instead of getting ready for work.
Or working.
Or bathing.
“something destructive like crack or reading”
Likewise, I’m sure as shit not addicted to spelling correctly.
@Oli
After the pic of Yates looking like Sickboy from trainspotting, then this article, I’m beginnning to wonder what I’ve gotten myself into – but to continue the trainspotting analogy, if anyone’s mother superior (the dealer from aforementioned movie) round here it’s gotta be Oli – just look at his man cave! Probably like being on smack, being in there, if you’re a cyclist. Not that I’d know about smack.
@Jeff in PetroMetro
Or waiting for yet another entertaining fight between @minion and @Marcus.
I knew it. The Abbot and Costello of Velominati.
@mcsqueak
We’re does school fall in there? That’s my biggest obstacle. Then I gotta work cause I have bills. Then I gotta study cause of school. Then I gotta clean, do laundry and sleep. I’m royally fucked guys. Every time I look at my bike I have pangs in my heart. I keep hoping to turn that around soon.
@RedRanger
School? I’ve done been grad-e-aited for something like 5 years now. Just the job and the VMH to fill my time, so I’m pretty lucky in that way. Though I have found commuting to work makes it a lot easier to get in miles without having to rush home after work to try and catch the last daylight of the evening.
@mcsqueak
A-Merckx! And good for you. I’m getting to the stage of trying to work out how to get me another sabbatical to start when this one ends at the end of June (200 on 100 will be the official end of my year’s leave). I can’t say that the year has been a professional boon for my research, and I’m not sure a pic of my guns stuck onto my annual report will do me any favours, but good work’s been done on that front…
I have no idea why people would think cyclists are junkies:
@itburns
I had no idea coal miners wore lycra, too.
Red Ranger – as an undergrad I play a varsity sport. Now as a grad student I ride my bike. For me I have tons of free time because even riding my bike a lot doesn’t come close to the amount of time spent practicing, playing games, traveling, rehab for injuries, special team meetings, weight training during my previous sporting days.
I’m worried how wife, kids, housework will but into my riding time though. We’ll see shortly!
ugh – edit – “played” and then “bite” but hey, wife and kids might indeed butt into riding time…
@Xyverz
As a semi-professional drinker, I’ve always thought I could deal with being diagnosed as being an alcoholic in every regard except wine. I just really – really – love wine. The taste, the smell, selecting a bottle, storing and aging a bottle…its beautiful.
I’m glad I sidestepped that landmine, and congratulations on being 16 years sober.
@Jeff in PetroMetro
Or watching Wynona’s Big Brown Beaver (video) — well here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYDfwUJzYQg
Couldn’t pass you up Jeff.
Is anyone else having trouble posting today?
@frank
Yeaauuh — doing the double-submit, back, then refresh. It works.
@Campagnolo Vince!
I hate computers. Firing up the IDE to have a look…
@Campagnolo Vince!
Yup. That’s what I’ve been doing.
@Buck Rogers, @Xyverz
Its funny; I’ve never had to warm up. I can just hit it right from the start; maybe – MAYBE – I need 5 or 10 minutes to find a rhythm, but that’s all.
I do find, however, that once I swell up the guns with lactic acid once, I have much more power the rest of the ride, so I usually try to hit a hill hard early on, just to get the engine running.
@frank
I am still just a caveman — that can restart a computer (Mac).
@RedRanger, @Campagnolo Vince!
I think its working again – let me know if you’re having a hard time still. I actually may have just resolved a bigger problem with the site that’s been nagging at me. Strange.
@frank
It went thru…
@Lister
Totally, mate; its been a wickedly stressful month or so since getting back from Keepers Tour; usually Velominati’s work load spikes and so does my actual job, but usually not together. Well, they are both spiking right now and its a real killer. But it passes. I’m lucky to have such problems.
@Ron
The catch for me is that school is actually a 40 hour a week gig. 25 credits a semester. 16 in the summer. I’m on a fixed program. No wiggle room on my classes. Then add a part time job. It’s gettin rather stressful and cycling would help but then time is a massive issue. On the upside after Monday I have a 2 week break. I am beyond excited about it.
@tessar
I find myself doing it with my hands in my pockets, leaning against a wall while I’m having a discussion. Feeling for the fibers in my legs while the muscles are tensioned from standing. It is really, really – really – not a good thing. Really must stop. I can’t imagine what it looks like. Well. No. I can imagine what it looks like.
@Ali McKee
This boggles my mind – not just from you, but anyone who doesn’t shave. I’ve shaved them so long I can’t figure out how it would be to have hairy legs.
@frank
Testing posting. Did you get the jersey, Frank?
@frank
Pocket pinball?
@RedRanger
When I was training for Keepers Tour, I was working 50 or more hours a week for my job, writing for the site, making all the arrangements for the trip, getting the flag, V-Pint glasses (which have resurfaced by the way), V-Shirts etc designed and made up…another 40 or more hours went into that easily. I found the only way I could get on the bike was by treating it like a work activity and just scheduling it with everything else. Its the only way.
Or do as @mcsqueak says and commute. Problem solved. And you’d be amazed at how little extra time it takes.
@frank
Well who did when they were in their thirties, FFS?
From the deep end of my fifties, I can say the addiction still burns on, maybe not as bright but it’s still the addiction of choice. Thoughts of N+1 never leave and you’ll need a least 10km to warm up. Get psyched.
@itburns
Yup, it came back. Finally catching up on orders and shipments and your replacement will go out this weekend.
@frank
I find this is the case as well, but I like to take it easy for a little longer than 10 mins. Sometimes I sort of feel like crap until I get going – like you said, I need to get a climb in or some hard sustained work to really get into the groove and warmed up.
@RedRanger
Yeah I think that’s a tough part of those very focused programs, you have to stick with their setup. When I was at university I only took 12 or 14 credit hours a term (3 classes) typically, and worked 35/hrs a week at The Sharper Image at the local mall to support myself. I felt like I had a lot more time back then, even though I was doing some combo of working/school/schoolwork 7 days a week. My last 3 classes I took spread out over an entire year, because I had been hired for an actual non-retail job before I graduated.
Office jobs have a “special” way of making you feel exhausted even though you generally sit on your ass infront of a computer all day…
@frank
Living in a valley, the only way to start a ride is by going up. There’s a point on a few of the steeper options, where I decide (less than ten minutes into the ride) that today is not my day. A few minutes later, everything is fine again.
@RedRanger
If the ride is not a part of the routine, it’s easy to be too busy (or too tired). I typically ride in the morning, not because I have free time then, but because I make it the day’s priority. I’m constrained by having three very good reasons not to adhere to Rule #11 (four if you count Mrs. Steampunk, too), but there are always ways to fit it in. Not always the longest ride, but even a quick 20k loop is the right way to start the day before a 9:00 class or meeting.