I feel it in my bones. I feel it in my breathing. I fixate on how much I feel it in my legs to the point where I find myself in a meeting, rubbing them to gauge how soft they’ve gotten. (Must learn to stop doing that in public as it can’t possibly improve my social standing. I’m tempted to cite the fact that I’m a Cyclist and it is normal in our circles, but I’m afraid that will only serve to drag the rest of you down with me rather than prove my case.)
For most uf us, life gets in the way of Cycling when we’re not careful to ensure it doesn’t, and having a goal sketched out before you can be helpful in keeping focus. In the run-up to Keepers Tour, I managed to stay disciplined and make room in my schedule to get on the bike regularly enough to get fit. But goals also have the effect of leaving a void once attained. In the aftermath of the trip, I’ve been hopelessly caught between conflicting priorities as I struggle to catch up after those few weeks away; without a goal in sight to make sure the bike gets assigned its due importance, I find myself riding the bike less than I’ve become accustomed to.
Of course, I do find satisfaction with each ride I manage to get out on, and I take comfort in the knowledge that things will settle down again and balance will be restored. It is during these times, however, when the feeling in my legs, lungs, and bones serve to constantly remind me that I’m a little less fit than I was yesterday that I realize what the bicycle is: an addiction.
I don’t want to speak for anyone else, but I wouldn’t be able to make a convincing argument against anyone classifying me as having an addictive personality. And, based on the assumption that you’re reading this and relate on some level to what I’m saying, then you probably have one, too; it seems to be a bit of an occupational hazard for the Velominati. Consider the following from WikiPedia, which represents a body of work by people whose credibility and identity is impossible to verify. Everything but the bit about “weak commitment” and “stress” rings true:
An individual is considered to be at the risk of developing…addictions when he/she displays signs of impulsive behavior, nonconformity combined with a weak commitment to the goals for achievement valued by the society, a sense of social alienation, and a sense of heightened stress. Such a person may switch from one addiction to another; or even sustain multiple addictions at different times.
The article goes on to define this condition as a “brain desease”. That sounds more “insulting” than it does “scientific”, but I have no choice but to submit to the authority of those whose credibility I can’t disprove. So, in the face of an overwhelming lack of evidence of being incorrect, it has to be assumed that we (or at least I) have broken brains, though as I write this I suppose this fact shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone who has been paying any attention at all. On the other hand, we already aspire to be heroin-thin, so I suppose it’s fitting that we have an addiction to go along with the appearance.
Having told you now what you presumably already knew, I’ll close with the following sentiment: so long as I’m destined to be addicted to something, I’m glad it is Cycling, which I consider to be something healthy and positive, instead of something destructive like crack or reading.
Vive la Vie Velominatus.
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Just once in a blue moon a little surprise comes my way. My VH was berating my obsession with bikes the other day to a divorced friend, who smartly responded..."there are worse things he could be addicted to", this lack of collaboration from a trusted friend was like a slap in the face to her...stunned silence was then followed by a meek "well I suppose you are right"....She came home and immediately told me I could go buy my Argon 18 Gallium frame I had been lusting after for some time.....RESULT! Piccies to follow at the end of the summer.
The personality aspect of it is interesting - within the realms of taste and confidentially I'd be interested to know whether people have had other actual addictions, as with Xyverz. Or is it just a general obsession/passion.
I've never been an addictive type. I smoked cigarettes for a year and gave up, I smoked dope for years and gave up, I drink in the evenings and stop at two glasses. My training tends to be pretty consistent, whatever is going on - 10,000kms a year, year in year out.
I love riding and would certainly be annoyed and unhappy if I couldn't ride for some reason, but I would probably set about finding something else to do.
I'm not saying this with a sense of superiority - just a sense of difference. I find it hard to understand the impulses and needs of addiction, which is why I'd be interested to know if it extends into other areas of people's lives.
And are there other non-addictive Velominati, or am I the weirdo ?
@ChrisO
I think you're being entirely too reasonable. To be fair, addiction is probably an intentionally strong word to use for the cycling passions of most, if not all, of us. Physical addiction requires physical withdrawal symptoms/illness. The line between psychological addiction and 'strong inclination' or preference for something, however, seems to be a bit less distinct and I'm not sure what the criteria are exactly. Many people claim 'psychological addiction' to marijuana, for instance, but I think it just takes the right motivational circumstances to sack up and get over it.
Personally, my experience with substances roughly mirrors yours, however I never got into cigarettes, and tend to drink one or two more beers than is prudent on most evenings. I do have people in my extended family who struggle with addiction, however, and they do seem to fixate on certain things aside from just drugs - typically social/financial drama.
@ChrisO @Velosophe I definitely fixate on things, and would have to class some of my fixations as dependence.
However, I have never been so into something giving it up made me sick, so perhaps I've never had an addiction?
I really don't want to try and find out by giving up my main vices, which I would class in rough order of importance as riding, beer, coffee and cycling forums.
Essentially this is all about semantics until one actually attempts to give up a vice/fixation/dependence/addiction...
SWMBO and I were watching a show about addictions a few nights ago, and a guy popped up with a cycling addction - Uni Professor, in his fifties and with a son in his twenties. He would cycle for 8 hours a day every day, a couple of hours on the road and the rest on an indoor trainer. Except he was in crippling pain when off the bike, could barely walk or stand up straight and his son had to beg him to go see a doctor. Both his hips were worn out, he needed both replaced and 3 months off the bike. He didn't go for it cos 3 months was unacceptable, so he kept on with what he was doing. THAT guy was properly fucked.
@ChrisO
Good point and like you I am not an addictive type, slightly obsessive is more accurate. Although I do not consider myself obsessive/compulsive - things do not need to be perfect.
One interesting thing about my love of cycling is that it is family and generational. My mother and her sister were/are cycling fanatics and in the sixties they, nine first cousins and one husband would ride 85 km round trip to the beach 2 or 3 times a summer. They also commuted always and my aunt at age 80+ is still riding everywhere!
Out of the nine only two of us have the bug (my cousin got me into competition) and since childhood I have always had a bike except for 2 years at a hippie high school (emphasis on the high).
If I do not ride I am not unhappy but always I would rather ride than do anything else - I hate gyms/workouts, swimming is boring, walking except for in the woods is slow. Cycling in any form is good.
@minion
Steampunk?
@minion
Crazy!
That reminds me of what is perhaps the critical component of judging whether any behavior is addictive: harm to other areas of life due to the behavior. Damage to health, family/social relations, career and finances should all be considered.
For a cycling enthusiast, financial harm is an easy area to point the finger to. I myself walk a fine line with that one. But with few bills to pay, and no wife or kids, prioritizing my finances towards what I am passionate about seems justifiable enough. I tell myself, if I one day have the 'wife and kids budget', I will be glad I amassed a small mountain of bike schwag while I could.
Great as usual Frank!
Yesterday, I got out for a short ride. It was sunny, warm and a bit windy. I've had a awful spring in regards to training; Pneumonia during the PDX Cogal, followed by tearing up some tendons in my wrist from splitting wood, then a unexpectedly long and tough recovery from a otherwise common surgery for the VMH. So during this time off, I'd get out to the shop and at least stare at the steeds daily. To be back on now is fantastic. I'm in horrible shape, but I know that fitness will come in no time.
When I got home put my stand up in the driveway and laid out the parts for my buddies new SS (photos over on "Bikes") and started assembling it the VMH said "you're totally in your element now aren't you?" My friend has had the frame for over a year and been slowly gathering parts. As I was wrapping the Fi'zi:k bar tape, I could sense the excitement he had for putting the tires to the road. In a sense, I passed the addiction on to another. I'm not sorry about that at all, and the last thing on my mind was spring. With absolutely no offense to anyone recovering "I got my fix" and I can't wait for the one I get today.
This latest question here about obsession and addiction is interesting. I am not qualified to make an assessment of the line that divides the two, which means I will do so in a moment.
I think the two are definitely closely related, and I suspect the difference has to do with control and the associated negative impact of the dependency. And, I think addiction implies a chemical dependency so I think the only time that's really true is if our bodies are producing a chemical or if someone is overly attached to their electrolyte mix.
But @ChrisO - I would say your description shows a lot of control that I don't naturally have. I definitely want to keep drinking beer or wine until the supply is gone. Its only discipline that keeps me from doing that - in that regard, I have an addictive personality. I'm not one for half measures, and I do everything to the absolute maximum I can get away with. Am I actually chemically, physically, or physiologically addicted to Cycling? Probably not. But I've also never tried to quit and I don't want to.