La Vie Velominatus: Addiction

I feel it in my bones. I feel it in my breathing. I fixate on how much I feel it in my legs to the point where I find myself in a meeting, rubbing them to gauge how soft they’ve gotten. (Must learn to stop doing that in public as it can’t possibly improve my social standing. I’m tempted to cite the fact that I’m a Cyclist and it is normal in our circles, but I’m afraid that will only serve to drag the rest of you down with me rather than prove my case.)

For most uf us, life gets in the way of Cycling when we’re not careful to ensure it doesn’t, and having a goal sketched out before you can be helpful in keeping focus. In the run-up to Keepers Tour, I managed to stay disciplined and make room in my schedule to get on the bike regularly enough to get fit. But goals also have the effect of leaving a void once attained. In the aftermath of the trip, I’ve been hopelessly caught between conflicting priorities as I struggle to catch up after those few weeks away; without a goal in sight to make sure the bike gets assigned its due importance, I find myself riding the bike less than I’ve become accustomed to.

Of course, I do find satisfaction with each ride I manage to get out on, and I take comfort in the knowledge that things will settle down again and balance will be restored. It is during these times, however, when the feeling in my legs, lungs, and bones serve to constantly remind me that I’m a little less fit than I was yesterday that I realize what the bicycle is: an addiction.

I don’t want to speak for anyone else, but I wouldn’t be able to make a convincing argument against anyone classifying me as having an addictive personality. And, based on the assumption that you’re reading this and relate on some level to what I’m saying, then you probably have one, too; it seems to be a bit of an occupational hazard for the Velominati. Consider the following from WikiPedia, which represents a body of work by people whose credibility and identity is impossible to verify. Everything but the bit about “weak commitment” and “stress” rings true:

An individual is considered to be at the risk of developing…addictions when he/she displays signs of impulsive behavior, nonconformity combined with a weak commitment to the goals for achievement valued by the society, a sense of social alienation, and a sense of heightened stress. Such a person may switch from one addiction to another; or even sustain multiple addictions at different times.

The article goes on to define this condition as a “brain desease”. That sounds more “insulting” than it does “scientific”, but I have no choice but to submit to the authority of those whose credibility I can’t disprove. So, in the face of an overwhelming lack of evidence of being incorrect, it has to be assumed that we (or at least I) have broken brains, though as I write this I suppose this fact shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone who has been paying any attention at all. On the other hand, we already aspire to be heroin-thin, so I suppose it’s fitting that we have an addiction to go along with the appearance.

Having told you now what you presumably already knew, I’ll close with the following sentiment: so long as I’m destined to be addicted to something, I’m glad it is Cycling, which I consider to be something healthy and positive, instead of something destructive like crack or reading.

Vive la Vie Velominatus.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • All-consuming passing that dominates every waking hour? Check. [Why else would we log on here as soon as we came in from a ride?]

    Adverse effects on friends and family? Check. [Rule 11. Need I say more?]

    Encourages dangerous behavior? Check. [Anyone NOT been knocked off by an SUV, separated their shoulder, had their foot slide under a car wheel when crashing on a main road, subjected both wrists to more x-rays and MRI scans than they care to recall after a spill, lost skin, hurt back and strained neck ... all in the last two years?]

    Distinctive appearance which differentiates the addict from "normal" society? Check. [Lycra. I rest my case.]

    Self-help support groups exist to assist? Check. [Er, isn't that why we're here?]

    Obvious and embarrassing side-effects? Check. [Rule 33. 'Nuf said.]

    Terrible side-effects of withdrawal? Check. [Seven weeks and counting off bike with a broken foot - I am past the irritable stage and well into the fat one.]

    But, as the posts here attest, if it's an addiction it is one more people should get. I would rather spend my money and time on bikes and physios [and the occasional orthopod (operation on foot looking increasingly likely)] than on golf and cardiologists; I would rather look at a hill with a wistful "I'd love to suffer up that" thought than a "fuck that, let's drive" thought; I would rather have people laugh at my shaved legs than at my fat arse. Besides which, above all else, I love to ride.

  • @G'phant

    But, as the posts here attest, if it's an addiction it is one more people should get. I would rather spend my money and time on bikes and physios [and the occasional orthopod (operation on foot looking increasingly likely)] than on golf and cardiologists; I would rather look at a hill with a wistful "I'd love to suffer up that" thought than a "fuck that, let's drive" thought; I would rather have people laugh at my shaved legs than at my fat arse. Besides which, above all else, I love to ride.

    Amen! Good luck on the foot.

  • @frank

    @RedRanger

    @mcsqueak
    We're does school fall in there? That's my biggest obstacle. Then I gotta work cause I have bills. Then I gotta study cause of school. Then I gotta clean, do laundry and sleep. I'm royally fucked guys. Every time I look at my bike I have pangs in my heart. I keep hoping to turn that around soon.

    When I was training for Keepers Tour, I was working 50 or more hours a week for my job, writing for the site, making all the arrangements for the trip, getting the flag, V-Pint glasses (which have resurfaced by the way), V-Shirts etc designed and made up...another 40 or more hours went into that easily. I found the only way I could get on the bike was by treating it like a work activity and just scheduling it with everything else. Its the only way.

    Or do as @mcsqueak says and commute. Problem solved. And you'd be amazed at how little extra time it takes.

    My standard work week is 55 hrs without overtime and with two kids under five, training has always been a challenge. I am amazed you can hold down a day job and run the site, chapeau! About a year ago I started commuting to work on the bike (30 mins each way) and then getting on a spinning bike for 40 min interval sessions at lunch, plus one 3 hr ride per weekend and my times and fitness have improved immensely. For me it's all about finding a balance that I can maintain but also being brutal ie: if someone tries to book a business lunch telling them that unless they want to eat on the bike next to me not a chance. I do agree however that when you have a goal, it makes choosing the bike against all the other demands easier so the group I cycle with does one monster ride each 3 months with bragging rights to keep us all motivated.

  • @G'phant

    All-consuming passing that dominates every waking hour? Check. [Why else would we log on here as soon as we came in from a ride?]

    Adverse effects on friends and family? Check. [Rule 11. Need I say more?]

    Encourages dangerous behavior? Check. [Anyone NOT been knocked off by an SUV, separated their shoulder, had their foot slide under a car wheel when crashing on a main road, subjected both wrists to more x-rays and MRI scans than they care to recall after a spill, lost skin, hurt back and strained neck ... all in the last two years?]

    Distinctive appearance which differentiates the addict from "normal" society? Check. [Lycra. I rest my case.]

    Self-help support groups exist to assist? Check. [Er, isn't that why we're here?]

    Obvious and embarrassing side-effects? Check. [Rule 33. 'Nuf said.]

    Terrible side-effects of withdrawal? Check. [Seven weeks and counting off bike with a broken foot - I am past the irritable stage and well into the fat one.]

    But, as the posts here attest, if it's an addiction it is one more people should get. I would rather spend my money and time on bikes and physios [and the occasional orthopod (operation on foot looking increasingly likely)] than on golf and cardiologists; I would rather look at a hill with a wistful "I'd love to suffer up that" thought than a "fuck that, let's drive" thought; I would rather have people laugh at my shaved legs than at my fat arse. Besides which, above all else, I love to ride.

    Brilliant.

    My guess is we all have a bit of an addictive personality otherwise why do we all keep logging in every day.....

  • @G'phant

    All-consuming passing that dominates every waking hour? Check. [Why else would we log on here as soon as we came in from a ride?]

    Adverse effects on friends and family? Check. [Rule 11. Need I say more?]

    Encourages dangerous behavior? Check. [Anyone NOT been knocked off by an SUV, separated their shoulder, had their foot slide under a car wheel when crashing on a main road, subjected both wrists to more x-rays and MRI scans than they care to recall after a spill, lost skin, hurt back and strained neck ... all in the last two years?]

    Distinctive appearance which differentiates the addict from "normal" society? Check. [Lycra. I rest my case.]

    Self-help support groups exist to assist? Check. [Er, isn't that why we're here?]

    Obvious and embarrassing side-effects? Check. [Rule 33. 'Nuf said.]

    Terrible side-effects of withdrawal? Check. [Seven weeks and counting off bike with a broken foot - I am past the irritable stage and well into the fat one.]

    But, as the posts here attest, if it's an addiction it is one more people should get. I would rather spend my money and time on bikes and physios [and the occasional orthopod (operation on foot looking increasingly likely)] than on golf and cardiologists; I would rather look at a hill with a wistful "I'd love to suffer up that" thought than a "fuck that, let's drive" thought; I would rather have people laugh at my shaved legs than at my fat arse. Besides which, above all else, I love to ride.

    As much as this whole article was written with tongue firmly in cheek, there is an element of sincerity to it (as with most of what happens here) - and you nailed it perfectly. Once again, you have put down in a few thoughts what I was trying to say in a poorly articulated load of paragraphs. Ah well, we all work to our strengths. I do, after all, have a full head of hair.

  • @G'phant
    Oh, and I'm sorry you have to have your foot fucked, but if you'd just come on KT like you should have, you'd be riding right now.

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