Categories: Breaking The RulesCyclocrossDefining MomentsRantings from the V-Bunker

Motorhead

Motors are acceptable for this.

Motherfucker.

I honestly don’t like swearing in an Article, much less using such a word to open an article, but seriously. Motherfucker. A motor discovered in an U23 rider’s bike at the Cyclocross World Championships has to be the lowest of the low that anyone can go. I’m so pissed off, I’m rhyming. Which itself makes me madder than a hatter.

I have a pretty lenient stance on doping, which I hold to fairly wide criticism. I believe that the path towards doping is full of shadows and gradual steps towards the darkness. It is easy for me to imagine a young, ambitious rider who has sacrificed education and other vocations for the chance to become a Pro Cyclist, who is taken under the wing of an older, more experienced rider and to whom is explained the ways of the sport. If I was 18 and following that path, I cannot say with certainty what choice I would make, given the limited perspective one would have under those circumstances. While I hate doping and wish for clean sport, I hold limited judgement over those who have strayed down that path.

But we ride bicycles for the pleasure of propelling ourselves along the road under our own power. We push the pedals and we go faster, it is as simple as that; the motor resides in our heads and in our hearts. Performance enhancing drugs will, to various degrees, fine-tune and modify that motor, but there remains alive a notion that even a doped rider is holding true to this basic notion.

Competition is about finding out who is the superior athlete, it is as simple as that. We train, we fine-tune our equipment, we learn the strategy and tactics required to rise to the top. Doping certainly obscures that concept, but that a rider would abandon this fundamental principle of our sport by utilizing a motor in their bike seems to me an order of magnitude removed. It is gratuitous to the extent that there is no possible justification apart from an unabashed desire to win over all else.

This is bike racing, not motorcycle racing. For fucks sake.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

Next Body Language »

Previous « An Argument About Gloves

View Comments

Harminator says:

Feb 3 2016 at 3:08 pm

@Gianni

@Oli

@kixsand

From the scant evidence of that inconclusive video I totally refuse to believe Cancellara is using a motor. Having seen how he wins races throughout his long and storied career I’m confident that what he does in that clip he’s quite capable of doing without resorting to an engine in his frame.

Although admittedly I have been wrong before…

Thank you! I can’t believe we are having the discussion of Cancellara again. People, get a fucking grip here. Has Spartacus not earned his reputation? Are we not entertained? He is not some U23 dropping everyone on the Koppenberg. He crushed Boonen on the Kapelmuur, get over it, it’s a long as hell climb.

This. And 4 other amateur explanations.

- Fabs has set the pace. Tommeke is reacting.

- Fabs is on the inside setts. Tommeke is wider on the cobbles.

- In that moment, Fabs hits just the right gear, power, cadence to go more faster. Tommeke is behind the gear and never quite gets over it.

- Hookers and blow.
frank says:

Feb 3 2016 at 3:18 pm

@Gianni

@Oli

@kixsand

From the scant evidence of that inconclusive video I totally refuse to believe Cancellara is using a motor. Having seen how he wins races throughout his long and storied career I’m confident that what he does in that clip he’s quite capable of doing without resorting to an engine in his frame.

Although admittedly I have been wrong before…

Thank you! I can’t believe we are having the discussion of Cancellara again. People, get a fucking grip here. Has Spartacus not earned his reputation? Are we not entertained? He is not some U23 dropping everyone on the Koppenberg. He crushed Boonen on the Kapelmuur, get over it, it’s a long as hell climb.
Teocalli says:

Feb 3 2016 at 3:25 pm

@DavyMuur

@Buck Rogers

@DavyMuur

Call me old fashioned, but I think even electronic shifting should be banned (from competition). It kind of defeats the purpose of the bicycle as a mechanical extension of the human body.

Yup, I am a firm luddite on this one. It is just like disc brakes for me. If it isn’t broken, why try to fix it (except to dupe the public into believing that they HAVE to HAVE this new unbelievable technology at any cost and that it was a miracle that we somehow survived without it).

Now I do love my clipless pedals and my brake lever shifters, but I do not ever see myself on electronic shifting or disc brakes on the road bike.

Luddites of the world unite!

Not a fan of the disc either – mainly for aesthetic reasons – but at least they’re not electronic!

The slightly odd thing for me about marginal gains and disc brakes in the peloton is that aerodynamically they are terrible so balancing having better brakes on the descents vs the aero impact for the rest of the day seems out of kilter. OK accepting that missing one bend can kinda screw the rest of the day is a factor. I guess G would have an interesting slant on that from last year's "incident".
Buck Rogers says:

Feb 3 2016 at 3:31 pm

@Teocalli

It is industry driving this change, nothing else.

Call me a conspiracist but this is nothing but trying to pry more money out of the suckers in the world.

There is no need for this in the pro peloton on road bikes. None.

(and I'm an authority on this because I claim to be one on the internet)
universo says:

Feb 3 2016 at 3:31 pm

@kixsand

Yes of course. Here'ya go!
Teocalli says:

Feb 3 2016 at 3:59 pm

@Buck Rogers

@Teocalli

It is industry driving this change, nothing else.

Call me a conspiracist but this is nothing but trying to pry more money out of the suckers in the world.

There is no need for this in the pro peloton on road bikes. None.

(and I’m an authority on this because I claim to be one on the internet)

I don't disagree. I can quite easily lock a wheel with conventional brakes and I'm more concerned over locking a wheel vs getting sufficient stopping power. I have the #9 bike for grinding paste conditions. I guess they do make sense for CX.

I suppose the other area though is with heat on the rim causing blowouts on alpine descents. Not many of those in Southern England though to be too much of a worry.
paolo says:

Feb 3 2016 at 4:52 pm

@Harminator

@Gianni

@Oli

@kixsand

From the scant evidence of that inconclusive video I totally refuse to believe Cancellara is using a motor. Having seen how he wins races throughout his long and storied career I’m confident that what he does in that clip he’s quite capable of doing without resorting to an engine in his frame.

Although admittedly I have been wrong before…

Thank you! I can’t believe we are having the discussion of Cancellara again. People, get a fucking grip here. Has Spartacus not earned his reputation? Are we not entertained? He is not some U23 dropping everyone on the Koppenberg. He crushed Boonen on the Kapelmuur, get over it, it’s a long as hell climb.

This. And 4 other amateur explanations.

– Fabs has set the pace. Tommeke is reacting.

– Fabs is on the inside setts. Tommeke is wider on the cobbles.

– In that moment, Fabs hits just the right gear, power, cadence to go more faster. Tommeke is behind the gear and never quite gets over it.

– Hookers and blow.

Are you saying hookers and blow are detrimental to riding a bike fast uphill?? Goddamit now I gotta revise my whole programme.
chuckp says:

Feb 3 2016 at 4:57 pm

@chuckp

Now, this is a proper motorbike. Miss doing this. And have to remember I can’t do this on a bicycle.

Loads of internet/web problems this morning. This is the pic I meant to post.
Pete says:

Feb 3 2016 at 5:15 pm

@paolo

Are you saying hookers and blow are detrimental to riding a bike fast uphill?? Goddamit now I gotta revise my whole programme.

Perhaps they had different hookers and blow and one was simply better than the others was. How many varieties have you experienced?
EBruner says:

Feb 3 2016 at 6:15 pm

@Pete

@paolo

Are you saying hookers and blow are detrimental to riding a bike fast uphill?? Goddamit now I gotta revise my whole programme.

Perhaps they had different hookers and blow and one was simply better than the others was. How many varieties have you experienced?

Never judge a man by his Hooker and Blow until you have walked a mile in his shoes.