Categories: Breaking The RulesCyclocrossDefining MomentsRantings from the V-Bunker

Motorhead

Motors are acceptable for this.

Motherfucker.

I honestly don’t like swearing in an Article, much less using such a word to open an article, but seriously. Motherfucker. A motor discovered in an U23 rider’s bike at the Cyclocross World Championships has to be the lowest of the low that anyone can go. I’m so pissed off, I’m rhyming. Which itself makes me madder than a hatter.

I have a pretty lenient stance on doping, which I hold to fairly wide criticism. I believe that the path towards doping is full of shadows and gradual steps towards the darkness. It is easy for me to imagine a young, ambitious rider who has sacrificed education and other vocations for the chance to become a Pro Cyclist, who is taken under the wing of an older, more experienced rider and to whom is explained the ways of the sport. If I was 18 and following that path, I cannot say with certainty what choice I would make, given the limited perspective one would have under those circumstances. While I hate doping and wish for clean sport, I hold limited judgement over those who have strayed down that path.

But we ride bicycles for the pleasure of propelling ourselves along the road under our own power. We push the pedals and we go faster, it is as simple as that; the motor resides in our heads and in our hearts. Performance enhancing drugs will, to various degrees, fine-tune and modify that motor, but there remains alive a notion that even a doped rider is holding true to this basic notion.

Competition is about finding out who is the superior athlete, it is as simple as that. We train, we fine-tune our equipment, we learn the strategy and tactics required to rise to the top. Doping certainly obscures that concept, but that a rider would abandon this fundamental principle of our sport by utilizing a motor in their bike seems to me an order of magnitude removed. It is gratuitous to the extent that there is no possible justification apart from an unabashed desire to win over all else.

This is bike racing, not motorcycle racing. For fucks sake.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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Phillip Mercer says:

Feb 3 2016 at 8:37 pm

I was riding home one day and after a sharp little ramp a guy on an ebike came past me. After a little bit, I came back past him and left him behind. Later on I got caught up at a couple of red lights and then continued until I got to this long drag of a climb. About 200m in this guy on the ebike comes past me and yells weirdly “Electricity!”. This was unusual as I hadn’t said anything to him or given him any looks. I replied, “well, you are on a motorbike…”. He sputtered “not really, uh its not like that” before I replied “You have a bike, with a motor. It’s a motorbike” at which point he rode up the hill pulling away from me. I caught him on the descent on the other side and he stayed very quiet. Didn’t see him after then. But, what a strange encounter…
Stephen says:

Feb 3 2016 at 9:52 pm

In regards to the Fabs video, I know better than to assume a guy, any guy (or girl) is clean. But, we also have to remember a few things about the human eye and it's interaction with the brain when we watch that video, as will as the loss of visual perspective (depth) caused by a non-3D camera.

When we're watching Fabs 'rocket' up the Kapelmuir w/o changing cadence or standing, were we even paying attention to what Tommekke was doing? That red arrow certainly drew your attention to only one part of the screen. Did Boonen hemorrhage cadence? Did we see enough of the video in real speed to properly judge the closure rate or acceleration/negative acceleration?

And what about the foreshortening that occurs in non-3D cameras? Think back to the last sprint finish you watched. Head on, guys are separated at the stripe by whiskers. Then you see the side or overhead view and there's enough space for a camera moto. So again, it's hard to judge the closure rate from one rider to another with the preferred broadcast angle. And that could cause you to mistake the difference in speed between two riders. Especially in short video clips.

So to me, the Fabs argument in interesting, but it is not nearly enough to be compelling.
litvi says:

Feb 3 2016 at 10:03 pm

@EBruner

Never judge a man by his Hooker and Blow until you have walked a mile in his shoes.

Walk?! Who fucking does that?
RobSandy says:

Feb 4 2016 at 2:45 am

@Buck Rogers

@Teocalli

It is industry driving this change, nothing else.

Call me a conspiracist but this is nothing but trying to pry more money out of the suckers in the world.

There is no need for this in the pro peloton on road bikes. None.

(and I’m an authority on this because I claim to be one on the internet)

I fucking believe you.
wilburrox says:

Feb 4 2016 at 3:07 am

@DavyMuur

@Buck Rogers

@DavyMuur

Call me old fashioned, but I think even electronic shifting should be banned (from competition). It kind of defeats the purpose of the bicycle as a mechanical extension of the human body.

Yup, I am a firm luddite on this one. It is just like disc brakes for me. If it isn’t broken, why try to fix it (except to dupe the public into believing that they HAVE to HAVE this new unbelievable technology at any cost and that it was a miracle that we somehow survived without it).

Now I do love my clipless pedals and my brake lever shifters, but I do not ever see myself on electronic shifting or disc brakes on the road bike.

Luddites of the world unite!

Not a fan of the disc either – mainly for aesthetic reasons – but at least they’re not electronic!

It'll be pretty slick when they are because then we'll have ABS! Cheers
Rob says:

Feb 4 2016 at 6:16 am

@wilburrox

@DavyMuur

@Buck Rogers

@DavyMuur

Call me old fashioned, but I think even electronic shifting should be banned (from competition). It kind of defeats the purpose of the bicycle as a mechanical extension of the human body.

Yup, I am a firm luddite on this one. It is just like disc brakes for me. If it isn’t broken, why try to fix it (except to dupe the public into believing that they HAVE to HAVE this new unbelievable technology at any cost and that it was a miracle that we somehow survived without it).

Now I do love my clipless pedals and my brake lever shifters, but I do not ever see myself on electronic shifting or disc brakes on the road bike.

Luddites of the world unite!

Not a fan of the disc either – mainly for aesthetic reasons – but at least they’re not electronic!

It’ll be pretty slick when they are because then we’ll have ABS! Cheers

Sorry, but I'm all in on disc brakes and electronic shifting but then I'd like a brand new Tesla roadster too. I still use down tube shifters and would be fine with clips and straps but clipless is affordable. The bottom line is that I do not like the complexity and cost of new bikes. If I could afford a mechanic and afford the prices I'd be all in. I have ridden the new stuff (except disc brakes) and it is fantastic. I will wait until it is affordable and in the mean time enjoy mixing it up with the kids on the steel and taking my hands off the bars to shift.
Ron says:

Feb 4 2016 at 8:51 am

@Buck Rogers

@Ron

Before we allow this to strangle all the fun out of our favorite sport…here is a Finding from a recent Harper’s Magazine:

“Sleeping Germans given incorrect definitions of Dutch words are not hindered in their language acquisition.”

Hmm…

Now THERE is grant money well spent, eh?

Hell yes, great dedication of funding. It has me wondering...are Germans just deep sleepers? Really smart? Or are they onto the Dutch and the things they make up and realize they should ignore most of what comes out of their mouths?

I was hoping our resident Dutch & German lads could chime in.
VirenqueforeVer says:

Feb 4 2016 at 8:54 am

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gr_r5H8NAf4

at 5:15 - doesn't it look like Van Aert's wheel is spinning in a manner not related to his pedalling?

Maybe just me?

This is a week before World's...
Oli says:

Feb 4 2016 at 11:54 am

It's just you.
frank says:

Feb 4 2016 at 12:12 pm

@Buck Rogers

@frank

Don’t you mean “rotten” in the state of Denmark, my Dutch friend?

Actually, that was a Clouseua joke...but close!