I’ve lost a lot of things that were, at some point or another, dear to me. At times, I’ve even cast them away deliberately, either because of a nurtured indifference or an irrational or impulsive dislike. Regret is an easy emotion to find in reflection, it lays right at the surface and provides us with a quick answer without requiring further introspection. I prefer to recognize that every choice I’ve made was an opportunity and that even the failed opportunities make up part of the foundation that lays beneath me and helps support me as I grow. Life is about learning from your mistakes, looking ahead, and seeking beauty in every approaching moment; to embrace the opportunity to make the best choice we can based on our experience and our goals.
We walk along an intertwined web of choices and possible futures. Every choice is a crossroads where the direction we choose sends us hurtling towards a new destination. Some crossroads have paths that ultimately lead towards the same end, but all of them represent a different journey. We cannot see the path, so we are left to decide what to make of the journey. We always have a choice, even if the choice is simply to reject an option. But even rejection leads to a new choice, and that to another. Choice gives us freedom. To be deprived of choice is to be enslaved.
My season’s objectives lie at my back and before me stretches a long period of time as I work towards my next milestone, which is Keepers Tour 2015. Between here and there lies the Cyclocross Season in which I will sporadically race, and also a possible trip up Haleakala, but with my season just having ended, I will face them without any special preparation or training. My rides during the Fall are deliberately without objective, I ride as my fancy dictates. My objective is simply to ride and to rediscover the basic sensations that fuel my love for Cycling.
With this deliberate lack of structure, I explore once again the mysteries of The V. On some days, I come home from work and as I pedal away my muscles twitch as they hunger for the deep burning that only a session in the Five and Dime can do. Yet on other days I am drained and wish only to feel my legs spin and surrender to the hum of my tires as my senses fill with the cool damp smells of Autumn. The mystery lies in the fact that nothing between my days at the office will have been fundamentally different; I do not know the state of my body and mind until I climb aboard the bicycle.
Riding a bicycle may have nothing to do with the elemental existence of humankind, but it does have something to do with the elemental existence of us as individuals. The bicycle is freedom, to be sure, but it is also a mystery unto itself while paradoxically helping unravel the mystery how I respond and interact with my surroundings. Therein lies the enigma: the bicycle knows me better than I know myself.
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I may even run up on Hincapie at the half-point.
It's my goal to have a week off of work, each autumn, and ride without a plan taking in the autumn colors.
Frank - This has been the year of (re)discovery for me on a bike. I quit 15 some odd years ago after getting burned out from racing and running a club/team. But when I found myself temporarily unemployed this spring, I decided to get back on the bike (my 20+ year old "steel is real" race bike) and just ride. I (re)discovered the joy of just riding to ride. No goals. No aspirations. Not worried about how far or how fast I rode. Just riding. Re-connected with one of my old racing buddies (who was also not working) and we rode together a lot ... reminiscing about being younger, stronger, faster but not trying to be. Started doing a regular Sunday group ride and took on the role of lanterne rouge to make sure no one got dropped or lost and to help with anyone who had a mechanical. And helped some of the slower riders ride faster. More fun than hammering and trying to crush souls. I might occasionally duke it out on a hill/climb but for the most part ride sans ego. I know the younger guys (and gals) are supposed to be stronger/faster than me. I just do my best to hold my own given the difference in years. Sometimes experience pays off and I uphold Fausto Coppi's adage "age and treachery will overcome skill and youth." Even though most of my rides have been in 20-30 mile spurts, I've managed to log a tad over 3,400 miles since I got back in the saddle. But it's not a benchmark or milestone. Once I start having those again, riding won't be any fun for me. Yes, I have personal goals for certain favorite Strava segments where I think I'm capable of doing better. But my only real goal is to just ride to ride. Enjoy the bike and time on the bike for what it is.
@frank excellent read.
So you've actually structured a lack of structure. Strong work and not easy to do.
Ive tried to ride of late with the same lack of structure, but most of the time turns into " must ride further and harder " and therefore kind of takes the enjoyment out of it.
Riding with my kids helps, they care not for Strava segments or average speeds. Just the thrill of the freedom and the journey.
Should be more of it.
@Ron
Congrats!! The second part seems like it's from a post-appocalypic fiction - surely that's not possible in real life!
@Ron
Ok, now that I read your impossibly long post, AWESOME!! I can tell if your job is at the lbs or in your field but either way it sound like it hit the spot so fuckin' good on ya!
if I could give anyone advice, it would be to follow the heart not the paycheck; the money I make at work has no value to me - the experiences it brings does. But when you chase the paycheck you invariably wind up working more and more and enjoying the fruits of that labor less.
not complaining about my very happy and fortunate life, just an observation about climbing ladders.
@ped
Had to check out the specific translation and found this great recounting and analysis. Of couirse, @wiscot probably already knew this and has an article about in the @frank's queue of things to be published here ....
@frank
One of life's work lessons is "If you really enjoy your work the pay is probably crap, if you hate your job the pay is probably pretty good".........Now let me think, between working in IT and the seasons I spent teaching skiing........
@ron well said. Thinking of balance in life I remind myself that balance is never static. We turn the pedals around to stay upright on impossibly narrow strips of rubber. We shift our weight forwards and back to compensate for changing terrain. What is now will not be in a moment. Such is life. Jobs, VMH's, partners, kids, etc all require us to constantly move between competing demands in order to stay balanced. Lean to far or commit to heavily, and its rubber side up and a trip to the ER.
Congrats on striving for balance. Keep moving.