Categories: Defining MomentsExportLa Vie Velominatus

The Cleansing

This kind of work is more for the body and soul than it is for the road.

After a night of sinning, the body must be cleansed.

-The Prophet, Eddy Merckx

After a week away in Atlanta for business, I feel thick and heavy. These trips away are killers; the shift in time zones means the already-too long work day is extended by a further three hours. I try my best to watch my diet, but in a town like Atlanta where even sushi is deep-fried, it’s virtually impossible. Crap food, crap sleep, and crap hours is no way to keep this fine-tuned engine of mine humming; every day I felt the sharpness leaving my body little by little.

So today, through the application of a sense of desperation combined with a not-insignificant amount of stupidity, I will cleanse the body in a single flash of blinding brilliance. I will start by skipping lunch, which is always a good way to sharpen the senses even if it tends to speed up any prospective visit from the Man with the Hammer. But the purpose of my ride today is to venture as deeply into the Caveau du Pain as quickly as possible; I find this is a good way to jump-start the process.

I will point the bike at the biggest and steepest hills and hit the first of them at full gas. I want the legs deadened as quickly as possible. This ride is meant to cleanse the mind as much as the body and a strong body can be a crutch for a weak mind; if I soften my legs from the start, I will need to rely more heavily on my Will, the total focus and concentration on forcing the legs will serve to flush it further.

As I cast my mind forward to the ride this afternoon, I can see myself on the steepest climb of the day – a 1.5 km leg-breaker with 22% pitches of several hundred meters. I can feel the pressure in my legs, the bursting sensation of my lungs as I claw my way up. I’m not built for this sort of climb; I can get up it fairly well on sheer determination, but it will take its pound of flesh. At the summit, I will feel crippled as the change in rhythm of hitting the false flat over the top is almost as brutal as the climb itself. But soon the lactic acid will flush away and leave me feeling renewed.

Pain is like a sieve for the soul whose purifying effect is directly proportional to the magnitude of the suffering. I will feel clean tonight, I will be renewed. VLVV.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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therealpeel says:

Aug 25 2014 at 6:34 am

@Bespoke

@frank

@Bespoke

Notwithstanding Rule #5, is it so necessary to construe masochism with joy, as a means to atonement?

In a word, yes. But if it pays you back with happiness, is it really masochism?

Nice. To answer your question, I believe yes, in a perverse way. You'll probably like this too:

"I saw in his hand a long spear of gold, and at the iron's point there seemed to be a little fire. He appeared to me to be thrusting it at times into my heart, and to pierce my very entrails; when he drew it out, he seemed to draw them out also, and to leave me all on fire with a great love of God. The pain was so great, that it made me moan; and yet so surpassing was the sweetness of this excessive pain, that I could not wish to be rid of it. The soul is satisfied now with nothing less than God. The pain is not bodily, but spiritual; though the body has its share in it. It is a caressing of love so sweet which now takes place between the soul and God, that I pray God of His goodness to make him experience it who may think that I am lying."

The Life of Teresa of Jesus' (1515-1582)

Seeing this quote in the same conversation as @batdan's is outrageous and slightly bewildering. Makes me wonder what exactly this community is really on.
razmaspaz says:

Aug 25 2014 at 7:23 am

@frank

@razmaspaz

That's why they do Cross Vegas during Interbike.

Unfortunately I'm going to miss this by one week. If they would just put interbike the week of my anniversary I would be in a much better place to start the season.

@Ron

I was rushing up the escalator to get to the MARTA (awesome transit system BTW) and this woman was blocking my A-Type progress. She turns to me, "WHAT YOU RUSHIN' FOR? IT MOVES FOR YOU!"

If MARTA is your measure of good transportation you need to visit a proper city. I spent a summer living in Atlanta, live in Chicago now, and I've made good use of Boston, NYC, and Munich's (another summer) vast networks of awesomeness, and MARTA is hardly what I would call awesome.
frank says:

Aug 25 2014 at 8:53 am

@therealpeel

@Bespoke

@frank

@Bespoke

Notwithstanding Rule #5, is it so necessary to construe masochism with joy, as a means to atonement?

In a word, yes. But if it pays you back with happiness, is it really masochism?

Nice. To answer your question, I believe yes, in a perverse way. You'll probably like this too:

"I saw in his hand a long spear of gold, and at the iron's point there seemed to be a little fire. He appeared to me to be thrusting it at times into my heart, and to pierce my very entrails; when he drew it out, he seemed to draw them out also, and to leave me all on fire with a great love of God. The pain was so great, that it made me moan; and yet so surpassing was the sweetness of this excessive pain, that I could not wish to be rid of it. The soul is satisfied now with nothing less than God. The pain is not bodily, but spiritual; though the body has its share in it. It is a caressing of love so sweet which now takes place between the soul and God, that I pray God of His goodness to make him experience it who may think that I am lying."

The Life of Teresa of Jesus' (1515-1582)

Seeing this quote in the same conversation as @batdan's is outrageous and slightly bewildering. Makes me wonder what exactly this community is really on.

We are on Pure Awesome, unfiltered.
frank says:

Aug 25 2014 at 8:55 am

@unversio

Committed to an 8-week cleansing series that requires riding each Sunday 50 miler recovery on an empty stomach. [ Grand Moff Tarkin voice ] "This had better work."

You're far too trusting.

@scaler911

Thank you Frank. I've been away far too long. I resolve to fix that.

You are the only one who can make this happen, my friend!

You training up for the Heck?

@Nate Yeah sure whatever.
Floridian says:

Aug 25 2014 at 10:57 am

Totally agree with the strategy for cleansing the body. One must go at it hard. No soft spins to just get the legs turning over and ease back into things. Have to disagree about crap food in the big city of my neighbor to the north though. Let me know next time you go and I will point you to the good places to eat.
scaler911 says:

Aug 25 2014 at 11:44 am

@frank

@unversio

Committed to an 8-week cleansing series that requires riding each Sunday 50 miler recovery on an empty stomach. [ Grand Moff Tarkin voice ] "This had better work."

You're far too trusting.

@scaler911

Thank you Frank. I've been away far too long. I resolve to fix that.

You are the only one who can make this happen, my friend!

You training up for the Heck?

@Nate Yeah sure whatever.

Turns out running your own business is a lot more time consuming than working for the man. Shit, I even Delgado'd the Vuelta!
DeKerr says:

Aug 25 2014 at 2:00 pm

Tarkin looks like he's just coming in to form for the Vuelta.
VeloSix says:

Aug 26 2014 at 7:53 am

I recently attempted such a cleansing last weekend the day after returning from my own business trip (and before returning to the road the very next day). The quiet solitude of slogging it out over the hills, in the relentless southern heat certainly made for a purifying of the mind. There is something uniquely euphoric after such a day of suffering. It lasts for about as long as I remain vertical, and in motion. Set myself down on something soft, and the lights go out. Confirmation of purification complete.
SirCarlLucas says:

Aug 27 2014 at 10:37 pm

I've been a lurker for sometime, but the mention of my city of residence was too much to pass up. When in Atlanta, one must ride as we do. On every hill possible that you can possibly hit as fast as you can. When you're done, expect another.