Velominati: Terrahist

Terrorism at work against cancer.

PayPal has decided to classify Velominati as a “Terrorist Organization” because we accepted contributions last week from community members to support the fight against cancer – without being an accredited non-profit organization. So much for trying to do the “right thing”.

While I’m sure they have their internal processes and reasons for this action given the current global climate, it nevertheless boggles the mind that they have such difficulty distinguishing between terrorism and terminal illness, despite the documentation I provided to the contrary. For those of you who donated to the Zoo Hill Climb for Cancer, please know that Velominati made the contribution in the full amount pledged by the community; unfortunately your donation has been refunded to you as demanded by PayPal in order to restore our account to good standing.

God Bless ‘Merca.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

eightzero says:

Jul 28 2012 at 12:10 pm

Gents, not trying to defend PayPal, but this isn't their fault. This is an artifact of the USA PATRIOT Act; your congress and a previous president at work.
Xyverz says:

Jul 28 2012 at 12:21 pm

@eightzero - You don't like having your liberties taken away? Apparently, we have an entire political party aiming to remove 'em all and replace 'em with religion. So much for the separation of church and state...

I really hate election years.
xyxax says:

Jul 28 2012 at 1:20 pm

That's harsh Frank. No good deed going unpunished once again.

And to top it off, having called Michelle "WallY" Bachmann, rather charitably, batshit fucking crazy and now this, you're going to end up on some no-fly, no-drop ride list.

Had my own dust-up with PayPal this month when they froze my account until I provided everything short of mitochondrial DNA to prove who I was.
DerHoggz says:

Jul 28 2012 at 6:24 pm

Sweet, does this mean the V-Gilet now comes with integrated explosives?
mxlmax says:

Jul 28 2012 at 6:53 pm

Could you setup a not-for-profit? Name it Velo(something).
Cyclops says:

Jul 28 2012 at 8:52 pm

You brought this shit on yourself, Frank, with the thinly veiled ties to the Illuminati. We all know that your goal is world domination with all your secret "Rules" and the crazy handshake and "Prophets" and the like. It's no wonder there aren't black Suburbans with dark tinted windows sitting in front of your house all the time. But I've been on to you for a long time. There is a listening device in the CX-V and I always wear a tin foil beenie under my helmet.
PeakInTwoYears says:

Jul 28 2012 at 9:22 pm

I feel safer that you all are under surveillance.
meursault says:

Jul 28 2012 at 9:25 pm

@PeakInTwoYears

I feel safer that you all are under surveillance.

Yeah, but who's watching the watchers, and making tiny holes in Cyclops shiny hat?
PeakInTwoYears says:

Jul 28 2012 at 10:15 pm

How the hell am I supposed to get from the gates of my gated community to the parking lot of my local Walmart for snackfoods in safety with people channeling money willy nilly to every damned socialist muslim anti-cancer charity that goes asking?

What the USofA needs is more CCTV.
girl says:

Jul 29 2012 at 12:41 am

@Cyclops

You brought this shit on yourself, Frank, with the thinly veiled ties to the Illuminati. We all know that your goal is world domination with all your secret "Rules" and the crazy handshake and "Prophets" and the like. It's no wonder there aren't black Suburbans with dark tinted windows sitting in front of your house all the time. But I've been on to you for a long time. There is a listening device in the CX-V and I always wear a tin foil beenie under my helmet.

Thank you @Cyclops. That made me laugh on a day that could use it. You know it isn't going to be a good day when on your long ride you are attacked by a magpie a month or more before magpie attacking season actually begins.