A Study in Casually Deliberate: Start Properly

I was recently asked how one is supposed to handle the delicate situation when departing a traffic signal and you are unable to clip in immediately. The obvious answer is that you’re supposed to clip in right away (use your toe to position the pedal and then pop your shoe into it) but I admit that this doesn’t always work out as envisioned. Should you find yourself in a traffic intersection, flailing about trying to clip in, the simple fact is that you are to remain Casually Deliberate at all times: take your time, don’t express any sense of feeling rushed, and possibly pretend like there might be something wrong with either your cleat or pedal.

This brings up a greater worry centered around how we as a group set about starting off initially on our rides. Being bipedal organisms, we struggle with setting a flight on two wheels. In my observations, I have noted that many of us tend to straddle the bike (itself an inelegant maneuver), grasp the bars with both hands, stare longingly at the first pedal as it is engaged with the cleat, before pushing off – an act not without risk given the likelihood of slipping on our cleated shoe – and wobbling about as the other foot is clipped into the pedal. This act is – inexplicably – normally followed by a sprint to get up to speed as if to prove that despite our failings in starting properly, we can still crush fools.

Cyclocross is a sport of savages; it combines the elegance of Cycling with the stated objective to dismount and run over obstacles, as if some mad nutter crossed Cycling with Miniature Golf. Which is not to say that I don’t love Cyclocross (because I do). The sport does give the road Cyclist excellent bike handling skills, not to mention a disciplined approach to remounting the bicycle while in full flight.

This is an art that the ‘Crosser must master as part of the sport and one in which I have failed miserably in for the simple fact that when I go out training, I cannot abide the idea that I would stop riding my bicycle just so I can practice climbing back on it. Be that as it may, the expert rider is able to fluidly run alongside their bike and swing swiftly aboard the thing as though they were about to take a swim in bath of warm jelly.

Whenever I race CX, I am humiliated by my remount, losing dozens of meters at every attempt. That said, I have practiced it just enough to do it properly from a standstill, a skill which serves me well when setting off on any of my road rides.

  1. One is never to straddle the bike prior to setting off. Instead, hold the bars casually with both hands and stand on the left (non-drive) side.
  2. In one swift move, pivot on your left foot while swinging your thigh onto the saddle.
  3. Allow your thigh to slide over the saddle and use it to slip your rump to where you ultimately endeavor to sit.
  4. Simultaneously, push off with your left foot to set the whole operation into motion.
  5. Allow your feet to dangle for a moment while you find your pedals, flip them into position with your toes, and clip in perfectly before casually pedalling off as though it took no concentration whatsoever.

A few notes of caution. Do not try to go all Air Jordan and attempt to get up in the air; you will crush your boy or lady parts. Instead slide onto the inner thigh first, and then slowly engage said crushable parts. Also, if you still fail to engage the pedals, simply use your momentum to roll along as though it were deliberate and take your time to clip in one foot at a time. Also, try to watch where you’re going so as not to roll into oncoming traffic and get killed.

Vive la Vie Velominatus. Please see below for an excellent instruction by GCN.

And, for the world’s fastest bike change:

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @Owen

    @frank

    @RedRanger

    Your attitude is defeatist. Very disappointing.

    @Owen

    Your attitude is escaptionalist. Also disappointing.

    I prescribe a course of Rule V to you both and expect you to feel better after five to ten hill repeats.

    Is being escaptional like being exceptional? Because if it is, I like it.

    It is not.

    It’s been pouring rain here for days, so it’ll be a 5 and 9 situation.

    Just to prove the point that Mary V can crush a remount.

  • @Mikael Liddy

    @Haldy

    @frank

    @Haldy

    Hmmm…why dismount at all..?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0oGMix5X44

    Jesus fucking christ. Did you read the article? The V is so strong with you, yet…

    Not to mention..in my branch of Cycling…we bring people to hold us up when we start a group ride-

    Now given the colouring of your stable I’m hoping you’re one of the immaculately turned out fellows with the pink/blue long sleeves 2nd in from either side. If that’s you far right I’ve a couple of questions about what the holy fuck you have on the lower half of your legs?

    He's the one with the pink bars, not the pink stripper socks.

  • @RobSandy

    I can execute a very smooth CX style remount on my mountain bike or commuter, but I’m fucked if I’m going to be doing any sort of running in my road shoes/cleats.

    I’ve mediated long and hard on CX, because it looks like a laugh and everyone says I’d be good at it (I have a skill of looking like i’m about to fall off my bike almost constantly, but staying upright), but I think I’ve decided I can’t be doing with a) the hassle of constantly cleaning and repairing a bike and b) running.

    Who said anything about running, FFS. What site do you think you're on? Keep it Casually Deliberate and do it from a standing start.

  • @sthilzy

    When rolling up to a set of red lights, I tend to ease up to time the green with out unclipping. I try not to get to the front row of cars as they try and give you least amount of space to clip in. Go for a light pole to, sign post to hold yourself up while clipped in a few cars back.

    Tried MTB racing with quite a few A over T’s. I’m a bit like Joey, and don’t get to remount;

    An unexpected bonus of this article is that Joey's OK resurfaced. Cheers!

  • Surely a track stand at traffic signals is both convenient and aesthetically pleasing? I've never knowingly missed an opportunity to show off.

  • @RobSandy

    @frank

    @Owen

    Just to prove the point that Mary V can crush a remount.

    Vos can fly!

    Despite a truly ugly WC kit. That woman would lay waste to most people on this site, I'd wager. She'd crush fools and not even take it out of the business end of the Belgian compact.

  • @frank

    @Haldy

    @frank

    @Haldy

    Hmmm…why dismount at all..?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0oGMix5X44

    Jesus fucking christ. Did you read the article? The V is so strong with you, yet…

    Yes, yes…I read the article. But it is so much more fun just to let fly and have fun. I think it was someone…umm..oh wait..it was YOU who told me nobody actually READS the articles, they just let fly with comments.

    True, but usually the first five posts are people correcting grammar mistakes, and THEN all y’all move on to jumping to conclusions and veering off-subject. I was just surprised to see it start that much sooner. Maybe that’s the curse of not enough typos?

    Maybe, but to me, I felt the inclusion of the instructional video required a little counteractive taunting

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