I am a nod snob. The fact is, I’m a bit of a cycling snob all-around. I am not a “biker” and I do not “like to bike”. I am a cyclist and I like to ride. What’s more, as I outlined before, there are very loosely defined parameters under which I will bestow a “nod” upon another rider. For example, you have to look cool. Like you care how you look. This doesn’t mean you have to be riding a glitzy carbon ride or some nostalgic steel classic, but you have to demonstrate that you understand Cycling Couture, ambiguously defined as it may be.
For those riders who receive said nod, there are a few unwritten rules about reciprocation. First, you have to decide whether to acknowledge the nod. Second, you should never acknowledge the nod too enthusiastically; always keep your cool and never get too excited.
The “Nod Acknowledgment” is almost more complicated than the “Nod”. First, you have to decide if you’re willing to accept the nod, ignore it, or reprimand them for even trying. More often than not, you ignore. But, if you acknowledge, Nod Snob terms dictate that you must never, under any circumstances show more enthusiasm than the original nod given. Let me give you an example of a flubbed Nod Reciprocation.
Michelle and I were riding home from a long ride out at Cougar Mountain near Seattle. It was a hot day, and we were tired after the more than 150km we’d logged already as we left Bellevue and headed back to Seattle. A rider – worthy of a nod – came by in the opposite direction and gave me a quick nod. A few moments later, Michelle pulled up alongside me with a horrified look in her eyes. “I saw him nod at you, and then he nodded at me. I completely lost my nerve, and, *sigh*, took my hand off the bar, smiled broadly and waved.”
Classic example of reciprocating with more enthusiasm than the original nod. Very uncool.
The other day, Michelle and I were coming home from our after-work spin, enjoying the hum of our wheels on the pavement and basking in the mellow satisfaction you find after a good ride. Coming the other direction was a dad riding a mountain bike with his young son in-tow on a Trail-a-Bike. The son seemed absolutely overjoyed at the scenario, and we could feel his delight before we could even see him. There was a sense of triumph about him. I’m not exactly sure why he felt so good about himself because he obviously didn’t meet any of the qualities of being a cyclist. I mean, when was the last time you saw a pro on a Trail-a-Bike? Besides, pro’s don’t wear jeans, and they don’t wear white helmets that look like hollowed-out bowling balls.
As we rolled into his view, he cheerily hollered, “HI BIKERS!”
My instinct was to correct him and say, “Bikers use motors, asshole. We’re cyclists.”
Instead, Michelle and I replied in chorus, “Hi!” I still feel a little guilty about that.
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@mcsqueak
Come to Abu Dhabi... a frightening combination of middle age, trendy triathlons and huge disposable incomes.
We regularly get people in aero helmets, even skin suits. The wannabe roadies are just as bad - hey I'm 20kg overweight but I can buy some carbon fibre and DA to make up for it. Nevermind that I can't ride in a bloody rotation, and the moon on a stick would be more realistic than a f*cking echelon.
I still say hello to them though - too small a place not too. I just have no compunction in dropping the f*ckers.
Sorry for the rant, you've brought it all out ! That and several glasses of wine while finishing an assignment.
As a general rule I say hello (i.e. a nod or finger lift) to anybody I see out in Abu Dhabi, but when in London I wouldn't do it in a commuting situation but would when out on training rides and encountering someone clearly doing the same.
@scaler911
@frank
No worries. I was shooting for a humorous mental image of me in all my old "Anti-V" gear. The only non matching kit I would ever be seen in now is my Pink Floyd Wish You Were Here jersey. But even then I would be rocking the Assos bibs so I think it works.
@ChrisO
Yeah I peeped your rides on that evil, evil group we set up... fast and flat! Some of those sections look like they've been flattened by a team of engineers. There is one "pan-flat" section of road here, that's actually used for a yearly TT race, but gosh it's boring, and windy.
Though in Abu Dhabi I guess you'll take what you can get. Props for keeping up the cycling there. And as much as it pains me to say, I could see the appeal of TT gear for long, flat rides.
I joined a local cycling club last year so I can get my group ride on when I feel in the mood. Not a whole lot of folks mismatched to their rides, but one guy did show up with a Renovo hardwood bike one weekend. I couldn't decide if I was jealous or disgusted. He rode well though, so I guess that's something.
@scaler911
What makes people like you join events without paying for the entry? It's rude and weird and laying the smack down on people who have paid doesn't prove anything except that you're a tightwad who'd rather do a Buysman than do the right thing.
@Oli
I would hope that someone riding the same "route" as an event ride, presumably on open public roads would at least have the sense enough to not take advantage of the rest stops with food/water as that is what you're paying for when you enter.
@Oli
I was kinda waiting for someone to notice that. (a)The ride registration was full. (b) It was a fund raising thing, we had a friend that was riding it and taking donations (we gave him $100.00 to that end). (c) We did not stop at nor use any of the services that those rides offer. We refilled bottles by buying from markets near the stops. (d) We did not cross the 'Finish Line' and get our photo taken, nor did we hang out at or go into the party tent/ area.
Or maybe I'm an asshat and need a good beating.
Or ride in a way that can affect the "result" (for want of a better word) by "dishing out some V"...just my opinion, of course.
@scaler911
I have a vision problem that makes these lamentably appalling sights impossible for me to see coming toward me, therefore not nodding or equivalent isn't a snub, it's a symptom of my handicap.
Interestingly, I CAN see them if I come up from behind. Which absolutely requires reeling them in as quickly as possible & passing (if lucky, on whatever the closest incline resembling a "hill" - florida, ya know) - the pass must be at pace significantly faster than theirs, smooth and effortless (appearing), no audible loud breathing/bike rocking (should it have been a long reel in, or if they were actually making decent revs, requiring effort)... but esp. when delivering a slap down: very polite "RIDER ON YOUR LEFT," casual finger lift (i NEVER look) as i gliiiiiiide by.
...I'm wit ya, m'friend! Don't gotta apologize to me!
@ChrisO
Oh, I am so pleased and happy to see the words "rotation" and "echelon" used as in the manner that you are on tv not watching it, but have yourselfs rotationed and echeloned! even used if in a rantishment way! I AM with my people, alhamdulilah!
(howza weather? not a contest, just like hearing about the other hot spots; i feel a fraternityish type of thing. even tho' i'm sure it's outlandishly hotter there. we got 102 F today, 80% humid. wahoo!)
@Karolinka
It was 11C and raining again today. Whilst I love living in the Pacific NWet, when is it going to stop fucking raining!!??!! I've grown tired of rule 9, and rule 7 isn't even in play yet..........Oh, wait, rule 5, I'll quit bitching now.