Categories: Etiquette

Can I Nod Snob a Kid?

I am a nod snob.  The fact is, I’m a bit of a cycling snob all-around.  I am not a “biker” and I do not “like to bike”.  I am a cyclist and I like to ride.  What’s more, as I outlined before, there are very loosely defined parameters under which I will bestow a “nod” upon another rider.  For example, you have to look cool.  Like you care how you look.  This doesn’t mean you have to be riding a glitzy carbon ride or some nostalgic steel classic, but you have to demonstrate that you understand Cycling Couture, ambiguously defined as it may be.

For those riders who receive said nod, there are a few unwritten rules about reciprocation.  First, you have to decide whether to acknowledge the nod.  Second, you should never acknowledge the nod too enthusiastically; always keep your cool and never get too excited.

The “Nod Acknowledgment” is almost more complicated than the “Nod”.  First, you have to decide if you’re willing to accept the nod, ignore it, or reprimand them for even trying.  More often than not, you ignore.  But, if you acknowledge, Nod Snob terms dictate that you must never, under any circumstances show more enthusiasm than the original nod given.  Let me give you an example of a flubbed Nod Reciprocation.

Michelle and I were riding home from a long ride out at Cougar Mountain near Seattle.  It was a hot day, and we were tired after the more than 150km we’d logged already as we left Bellevue and headed back to Seattle.  A rider – worthy of a nod – came by in the opposite direction and gave me a quick nod.  A few moments later,  Michelle pulled up alongside me with a horrified look in her eyes.  “I saw him nod at you, and then he nodded at me.  I completely lost my nerve, and, *sigh*, took my hand off the bar, smiled broadly and waved.”

Classic example of reciprocating with more enthusiasm than the original nod.  Very uncool.

The other day, Michelle and I were coming home from our after-work spin, enjoying the hum of our wheels on the pavement and basking in the mellow satisfaction you find after a good ride.  Coming the other direction was a dad riding a mountain bike with his young son in-tow on a Trail-a-Bike.  The son seemed absolutely overjoyed at the scenario, and we could feel his delight before we could even see him.  There was a sense of triumph about him.  I’m not exactly sure why he felt so good about himself because he obviously didn’t meet any of the qualities of being a cyclist.  I mean, when was the last time you saw a pro on a Trail-a-Bike?  Besides, pro’s don’t wear jeans, and they don’t wear white helmets that look like hollowed-out bowling balls.

As we rolled into his view, he cheerily hollered, “HI BIKERS!”

My instinct was to correct him and say, “Bikers use motors, asshole.  We’re cyclists.”

Instead, Michelle and I replied in chorus, “Hi!”  I still feel a little guilty about that.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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  • I got snobbed on Monday and it really irritated me for some reason. Unfortunately my response left me with an etiquette dilemma. I was riding back from work, so in commuting mode, and about a mile from home some MAMIL came past me, "Evening," I said. No response. I'd only been pottering, but this bloke wasn't going that fast on his ultegra equipped Scott. So I upped my pace slightly just so he'd know I was there, but not actually slipstreaming him. The moment the road starts to go up he can't maintain his pace and things started to get uncomfortably slow. "Sod it," I thought, "I'll go past him and then I'll turn off down the lane to my hamlet," which was coming up soon. A couple of cars came by so I couldn't, then he turned down the lane himself. I presumed it would be bad form to overtake him and 200 yards later pull up my drive - mind you on one short but sharp hill it was almost impossible not to - so I just hung back. Did I do the right thing? He presumably now thinks I tried to keep up with him, but couldn't.
    I'm guessing he was new to cycling and assumed anyone on a bike not made of carbon fibre was beneath contempt, not realising like you or I would, that someone on a 15 year old lugged steel campag equiped lightweight tourer with carefully selected components, might just have a few more bikes in the shed, and he couldn't possibly believe that old bike in front of him used to do 6,000 miles a year and has been up Mt Ventoux more times that he's had to pump up his tyres in the last 6 months. Now I've wound my self up again. Of course he might just have been a tosser.
    For what its worth I normally acknowledge most cyclists, unless in London, when obviously it would be pointless and not feasible.

  • @Jaja

    That's the beauty of dwelling in the realm of the "V". There will always be somebody slower and always somebody faster than me. But I know the kilometers I've logged. I know the intervals I've done. I know my love of all things "V". What do you care what some wanker on and Ultegra Scott thinks of you? Actually there is a certain comeliness to how your situation was left. You know you can crush Ultegra Scott dude. He thinks otherwise in his vainglory. Then one day the commuter on the weird bike will bring him back to brutal reality.

    Everything in life is a dichotomy. A temporal and a spiritual. Can I resist chasing down the rabbit in front of me or riding somebody off of my wheel because I can? Of course not. But at the same time I acknowledge everybody out on two wheels (Ok, maybe not the rectumbant rider) yet if engaged in conversation I (try to) never knock anybody's ability or equipment. When it's all said and done I hope that thoughts of Cyclops are as such - "Man, he's fast, but he's an awfully nice chap too".

  • @scaler911

    @Karolinka
    It was 11C and raining again today. Whilst I love living in the Pacific NWet, when is it going to stop fucking raining!!??!! I've grown tired of Rule 9, and Rule 7 isn't even in play yet..........Oh, wait, Rule 5, I'll quit bitching now.

    It doesn't SOUND like you love it, lol!

    HTFU this, HTFU that... Rule 5 is core & key if you're serious RE. making progress; & adherents spend large parts of their lives on the road. But let's face it - if there isn't some part of you that enjoys suffering on the Freight Train of Pain (in the weather where you live) - that's a lotta suffering for... what?

    You probably aren't being that serious - the occasional blow-off-steam gripe is perfectly allowable (IMHO), especially if it's a pseudo-subtle way of letting ppl know "look what --> I

  • @Karolinka
    Just gotta blow off some steam. This winter has even the hardest locals bitching. About a month ago, we had gone 270 days without 3 days of sun in a row.
    I'll tell you this tho, a guy gets quite a bit of cred around the workplace when you mash 90+ miles in February, when it's around 9C and pouring, and all the fair weather cyclists just shake their head at you.
    Very Belgian here this year.............
    See y'all next week, as I'm off for a long weekend of glorious riding in the high desert, followed each afternoon with soaking in hot springs, and re-hydrating on fine IPA's.

  • @Cyclops
    Wise words. I like the notion of being permananetly poised on the cusp of decision. I aggree re acknowleging other riders. Even triatheletes, but then again the only two round my way are mates of mine so I normally end up riding with them for a bit.

  • @scaler911

    If you don't mind me asking, where in the PNW are you? I'm in Portland, and despite below-average temps recently (which I don't mind, the heat kills me) it hasn't been the worst spring ever for riding. I started picking back up my mileage in April and it's been pretty great, actually.

    And it sounds like you're headed to Bend, perhaps. If so have fun! I'm trying to get over there this summer for some road riding.

    @Jaja

    Since you didn't know the guy I wouldn't spend much time worrying about it. Let the MAMIL (love that term) have his dreams of cycling awesomeness.

  • I'll gladly trade sun for clouds. It's 39+ every day after work. But next week I will be able to do some pre work riding.

  • @mcsqueak
    Vantucky. Maybe it just seems that way to me. Probably a lot has to do with the fact that I quit riding altogether in '99, and just got back on my trusty steed (Ritchey Road Logic, mmmm love that bike) late last spring after some breeding and blimping. Maybe run into you out on the road, and yes, I (we) am heading over to Bend.

  • @scaler911

    @Karolinka
    Just gotta blow off some steam. This winter has even the hardest locals bitching. About a month ago, we had gone 270 days without 3 days of sun in a row.

    Bleh. I'd be bitching.

    See y'all next week, as I'm off for a long weekend of glorious riding in the high desert, followed each afternoon with soaking in hot springs, and re-hydrating on fine IPA's.

    Sounds like a perfect antidote. Enjoy!!

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