Categories: Accessories and GearBelgian AffirmationsEtiquette

Cover High Before You Cover Low

Hinault keeps the guns clean.

With the transitions of seasons occurring all over the world as Summer shifts to Fall in the Northern Hemisphere and Winter to Spring in the Southern, we are faced with the seasonal challenge of how to kit up properly for volatile and variable weather conditions.

One of the most common mistakes made, apart from overdressing, is riders offending our collective sensibilities by inexplicably wearing leg coverings with short sleeve jerseys; an aesthetic faux-pas of monumental proportions. We’ve already discussed the merits of layering when kitting up in your Flandrian Best, and this specifically addresses the oft-abused Point IIV as discussed therein:

Maintain order; if it’s cold enough for knee warmers, it’s cold enough for arm warmers. First come arm warmers, then knee warmers.

While wearing shirt-sleeves and pantaloons is acceptable for civilian attire, doing so with your Cycling kit marks the rider like a greasy Cat 5 tattoo on the calf. The lower half of our bodies is working much harder than our upper bodies, which sit nearly motionless as our guns piston away at the pedals leaving a path of destroyed dreams and broken souls in our wake. The legs need air to breathe, room to roam freely; the caged bird doesn’t sing and covering up the guns unnecessarily with lycra is like caging a wild bird of prey.

There is a certain pleasure to be found in kitting up perfectly for the day’s ride. We deliberate over the temperature, the wind, the likelihood of rain. We lay out our options like a Valet for his nobleman, we may even take a step outside and reconsider our choices. Returning from the ride many hours later, we allow a wry smile to creep across our faces in the knowledge that we nailed our kit today.

Expect to be cold when you first step outside. Once the engine is running, it will be pumping out heat; when you’re properly dressed for riding, you will be cold whenever you are standing still. If you’re comfortable standing still, you will overheat once the game is afoot and the engine room is calling for more coals to be heaped on the fire.
Remember your layers, and always consider arm warmers and a gilet before a long sleeve jersey and knee warmers before tights. These give you the possibility of micro-adjusting your temperature as the day warms or cools, or if the rains suddenly arrive. Only move to long sleeve jerseys when there is no possibility of overheating.
Long-fingered gloves are only allowed when paired up with arm warmers or a long sleeve jersey.
Belgian booties are always acceptable in Spring and Fall, and always look the business.
Wearing full leg warmers and a long sleeve jersey while enjoying a Pre-Ride espresso and talking shit is ultra-Pro. Deploy this at-will throughout the season, so long as you remove these layers prior to throwing leg over top tube.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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Matt says:

Sep 17 2015 at 8:04 am

I'd like to address the congregation: Belgian Booties, do you deploy them sans leg warmers? Or do you adhere to the top-down principle without exception? Clearly they are often utilized with exposed Guns during TTs; I'm referring to general cold riding.
universo says:

Sep 17 2015 at 8:05 am

@RobSandy

try Santini and some body glue
TheVid says:

Sep 17 2015 at 9:14 am

@sthilzy

Mind you have seen some hard-asses riders in shorts kit in 5’C winter mornings! Me thinks how do you do that?!

Ages ago I used to be a bicycle messenger here in the prairies of the Great White North. As I would be running in and out of doors practically all day, my choice of apparel may not be suitable for long rides outside. I typically made decisions based on the anticipated high. Bare legs to -5C, full length warmers to -15C, full length warmers with outer shell to -25C, and full length warmers, fleece pants, knee high wool socks and shell for anything below -25C, and calling in sick if the high was going to be below -35C. We just weren't paid enough to work in that weather.

Upper half had anywhere from 2-4 layers which could be shed throughout the day to manage core temps.
Nate says:

Sep 17 2015 at 9:15 am

Cat V Tatoo

I must question the use of "V" here. There is nothing V about a Cat 5 tattoo. One must not automatically change all 5s to Vs here; context makes all the difference.
Vince says:

Sep 17 2015 at 9:36 am

Thank Merckx for this article. Last year I got into quite a few post-ride spats at the cafe about my dress during the winter rides, so I'll keep this one at the ready to reference. I always show up in short bibs (with or without the knee warmers), short sleeve jersey, and arm warmers. Sure, I'm shivering when I lock the front door, but I remember that Rule V applies to all aspects of life and I chalk it up to character building. But as you mentioned, after I've cast my leg over the top tube and get the guns firing I warm up quite nicely. All that matters to me is that I'm comfortable as I dish out copious amounts of V, and that I beat the clowns I call my friends back to the cafe at the end of the ride. It makes it a little harder for them to say anything when I'm already sitting down, drink in hand, with nothing more than a smug grin to greet them.

Oh, and should you find that you are truly under-dressed on any given day, I have one piece of advice...pedal faster.
frank says:

Sep 17 2015 at 9:58 am

@Nate

Cat V Tatoo

I must question the use of “V” here. There is nothing V about a Cat 5 tattoo. One must not automatically change all 5s to Vs here; context makes all the difference.

Have you ever done a Cat V race? Fucking zero organization and a madhouse free-for-all from the word Go. In many ways, much harder than the higher (lower?) level cats.

Cat V means you are a rookie and inexperienced racer, not that you are a giant sissy.
Ccos says:

Sep 17 2015 at 10:05 am

@Matt

I’d like to address the congregation: Belgian Booties, do you deploy them sans leg warmers? Or do you adhere to the top-down principle without exception? Clearly they are often utilized with exposed Guns during TTs; I’m referring to general cold riding.

Even when it isn't cold enough for them, you always need to keep your white ladies clean, so...
Simon says:

Sep 17 2015 at 10:29 am

I was mourning the end of summer this morning - but reading this article has reminded me of how much I actually enjoy riding in the colder months; thanks!
Nate says:

Sep 17 2015 at 10:39 am

@frank

@Nate

Cat V Tatoo

I must question the use of “V” here. There is nothing V about a Cat 5 tattoo. One must not automatically change all 5s to Vs here; context makes all the difference.

Have you ever done a Cat V race? Fucking zero organization and a madhouse free-for-all from the word Go. In many ways, much harder than the higher (lower?) level cats.

Cat V means you are a rookie and inexperienced racer, not that you are a giant sissy.

That's no excuse for condoing the inexperienced getting black gunk all over their calves. We must guide the uninitiated, not ennoble their ignorance.
Teocalli says:

Sep 17 2015 at 11:14 am

This is one area where living at the bottom of a hill is better than at the top. Living on the top as I do, when I set out on winter rides I'm straight into big wind chill deficit before I warm up. So a light layer of a windproof jacket and/or arm warmers are pretty key.