Categories: Accessories and GearBelgian AffirmationsEtiquette

Cover High Before You Cover Low

Hinault keeps the guns clean.

With the transitions of seasons occurring all over the world as Summer shifts to Fall in the Northern Hemisphere and Winter to Spring in the Southern, we are faced with the seasonal challenge of how to kit up properly for volatile and variable weather conditions.

One of the most common mistakes made, apart from overdressing, is riders offending our collective sensibilities by inexplicably wearing leg coverings with short sleeve jerseys; an aesthetic faux-pas of monumental proportions. We’ve already discussed the merits of layering when kitting up in your Flandrian Best, and this specifically addresses the oft-abused Point IIV as discussed therein:

Maintain order; if it’s cold enough for knee warmers, it’s cold enough for arm warmers. First come arm warmers, then knee warmers.

While wearing shirt-sleeves and pantaloons is acceptable for civilian attire, doing so with your Cycling kit marks the rider like a greasy Cat 5 tattoo on the calf. The lower half of our bodies is working much harder than our upper bodies, which sit nearly motionless as our guns piston away at the pedals leaving a path of destroyed dreams and broken souls in our wake. The legs need air to breathe, room to roam freely; the caged bird doesn’t sing and covering up the guns unnecessarily with lycra is like caging a wild bird of prey.

There is a certain pleasure to be found in kitting up perfectly for the day’s ride. We deliberate over the temperature, the wind, the likelihood of rain. We lay out our options like a Valet for his nobleman, we may even take a step outside and reconsider our choices. Returning from the ride many hours later, we allow a wry smile to creep across our faces in the knowledge that we nailed our kit today.

Expect to be cold when you first step outside. Once the engine is running, it will be pumping out heat; when you’re properly dressed for riding, you will be cold whenever you are standing still. If you’re comfortable standing still, you will overheat once the game is afoot and the engine room is calling for more coals to be heaped on the fire.
Remember your layers, and always consider arm warmers and a gilet before a long sleeve jersey and knee warmers before tights. These give you the possibility of micro-adjusting your temperature as the day warms or cools, or if the rains suddenly arrive. Only move to long sleeve jerseys when there is no possibility of overheating.
Long-fingered gloves are only allowed when paired up with arm warmers or a long sleeve jersey.
Belgian booties are always acceptable in Spring and Fall, and always look the business.
Wearing full leg warmers and a long sleeve jersey while enjoying a Pre-Ride espresso and talking shit is ultra-Pro. Deploy this at-will throughout the season, so long as you remove these layers prior to throwing leg over top tube.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

RobSandy says:

Sep 18 2015 at 5:22 am

@Ron

I like my pockets wide and deep enough for a bottle of Post Ride Recovery Ale (a big boy, not a 355 mL) and/or a bottle of rye. Never know when you’ll just happen to have your route send you right past the bottle shop…

THIS. Nice one Ron, you seem like my kind of guy!
KogaLover says:

Sep 18 2015 at 5:43 am

@piwakawaka

@Teocalli

This is one area where living at the bottom of a hill is better than at the top. Living on the top as I do, when I set out on winter rides I’m straight into big wind chill deficit before I warm up. So a light layer of a windproof jacket and/or arm warmers are pretty key.

follow the pro’s, magazine down the jersey, ditch at first rubbish bin, I have a 2.30min descent at the start of my rides, bloody freezing in the winter.

Had my first ride in just a long sleeve jersey this week, first race of spring tomorrow… ‘cold strong southerlies with showers developing, high of 11c’.

I live on the top too, which is great when getting back from the work commute or a ride, but not so great when taking off in the morning. So I frequently end up with the softshell in the pocket for the rest of the day/commute. Seems I need to subscribe to a magazine since I only read online nowadays.
KogaLover says:

Sep 18 2015 at 5:51 am

@ErikdR

Yep, I read that article on winter kit from her. You do not look pro then anymore btw. She’s not very active these days anymore. Maybe too busy managing her minions!

Here it is: http://winnipegcyclechick.com/dressed-to-chill/
Coach Props says:

Sep 18 2015 at 6:19 am

@TheVid

A couple of years ago here in MN everything was closed due to cold. What was I to do but go out for a ride - called my buddy that I went out for a spin in the morning at -28C.....his reply was "I was our for a spin and it was -30C."
ErikdR says:

Sep 18 2015 at 6:20 am

@KogaLover

@ErikdR

Yep, I read that article on winter kit from her. You do not look pro then anymore btw. She’s not very active these days anymore. Maybe too busy managing her minions!

Here it is: http://winnipegcyclechick.com/dressed-to-chill/

Haha! Yep... that's the one I meant - cheers. I agree that you certainly couldn't look pro in such an outfit - but properly badass nonetheless. Note that at the start of the post, she quotes the weather forecast: Minus 28 C - corresponding to Minus 39 when you add wind chill. Ouch... Those Canadians must have antifreeze running through their veins?
ErikdR says:

Sep 18 2015 at 6:45 am

@KogaLover

And my favorite quote from the 'Dressed to Chill'-post would have to be:

"(My husband's) garbage mitts are warm as hell and I like that they go really high so my wrists are covered. I can't see my watch though. No matter - it's motherfucking freezing o' clock" Unquote. Classic.
bea says:

Sep 18 2015 at 7:11 am

I love the changing of the seasons, everybody seems confused about what to wear.
You see guys in short sleeves and bibs next to cyclists with hats, gloves, longs sleeves (with who-knows-what under it) and knickers. A funny sight!

I’m still going in summer attire, and last week I got cold, only to discover that it was only 6°C. So I dug up my warmer base layers, long sleeve jerseys and long finger gloves… Ready to tackle autumn…

In winter time (and autumn and spring and basically all year round), my biggest problems are my toes…
KogaLover says:

Sep 18 2015 at 7:13 am

@ErikdR

@KogaLover

And my favorite quote from the ‘Dressed to Chill’-post would have to be:

“(My husband’s) garbage mitts are warm as hell and I like that they go really high so my wrists are covered. I can’t see my watch though. No matter – it’s motherfucking freezing o’ clock” Unquote. Classic.

Classic... I just reread the article myself and LOL at exactly the same quote. Was only wondering whether the badger picture was related or referring to THE Badger himself (just to bring the story back full-circle).
Marco says:

Sep 18 2015 at 7:26 am

@Ron

The Torm Jersey is a thing of beauty....and the zippered pocket is definitely a big plus. The guys from Torm run a small big shop and are as close to cycling as any garment company out there.
ErikdR says:

Sep 18 2015 at 7:56 am

@KogaLover

To quote from the amazing nature documentary entitled: "The crazy nasty-ass Honey Badger":

"The Honey Badger has been referred to by the Guinness book of records as the most fearless animal in the entire animal kingdom. It really doesn't give a shit..." Etc... You can find the video on YouTube - it is silly beyond belief, but quite funny if you happen to be in the mood for some weird stuff.

However, as you know, our WInnipeg lady does not shy away from some nice double entendre: when she writes "Please excuse the gratuitous badger shot" under the photograph, this refers to the fact that 'badger', at least in the British isles (and, apparently, in Canada too), is urban slang for the female genitalia. (The great Billy Connolly also has referred to this at some point...)