Categories: Accessories and GearBelgian AffirmationsEtiquette

Cover High Before You Cover Low

Hinault keeps the guns clean.

With the transitions of seasons occurring all over the world as Summer shifts to Fall in the Northern Hemisphere and Winter to Spring in the Southern, we are faced with the seasonal challenge of how to kit up properly for volatile and variable weather conditions.

One of the most common mistakes made, apart from overdressing, is riders offending our collective sensibilities by inexplicably wearing leg coverings with short sleeve jerseys; an aesthetic faux-pas of monumental proportions. We’ve already discussed the merits of layering when kitting up in your Flandrian Best, and this specifically addresses the oft-abused Point IIV as discussed therein:

Maintain order; if it’s cold enough for knee warmers, it’s cold enough for arm warmers. First come arm warmers, then knee warmers.

While wearing shirt-sleeves and pantaloons is acceptable for civilian attire, doing so with your Cycling kit marks the rider like a greasy Cat 5 tattoo on the calf. The lower half of our bodies is working much harder than our upper bodies, which sit nearly motionless as our guns piston away at the pedals leaving a path of destroyed dreams and broken souls in our wake. The legs need air to breathe, room to roam freely; the caged bird doesn’t sing and covering up the guns unnecessarily with lycra is like caging a wild bird of prey.

There is a certain pleasure to be found in kitting up perfectly for the day’s ride. We deliberate over the temperature, the wind, the likelihood of rain. We lay out our options like a Valet for his nobleman, we may even take a step outside and reconsider our choices. Returning from the ride many hours later, we allow a wry smile to creep across our faces in the knowledge that we nailed our kit today.

Expect to be cold when you first step outside. Once the engine is running, it will be pumping out heat; when you’re properly dressed for riding, you will be cold whenever you are standing still. If you’re comfortable standing still, you will overheat once the game is afoot and the engine room is calling for more coals to be heaped on the fire.
Remember your layers, and always consider arm warmers and a gilet before a long sleeve jersey and knee warmers before tights. These give you the possibility of micro-adjusting your temperature as the day warms or cools, or if the rains suddenly arrive. Only move to long sleeve jerseys when there is no possibility of overheating.
Long-fingered gloves are only allowed when paired up with arm warmers or a long sleeve jersey.
Belgian booties are always acceptable in Spring and Fall, and always look the business.
Wearing full leg warmers and a long sleeve jersey while enjoying a Pre-Ride espresso and talking shit is ultra-Pro. Deploy this at-will throughout the season, so long as you remove these layers prior to throwing leg over top tube.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

Puffy says:

Sep 17 2015 at 6:21 pm

@sthilzy

Mind you have seen some hard-asses riders in shorts kit in 5’C winter mornings! Me thinks how do you do that?!

I did that once this season. Parents were visiting so being the good child I am I gave them my bed. The night was warm enough so base layer was the only warm kit relocated to the lounge for the moring bunch ride. On waking I discovered single figures on the temp gauge but with my bed room door locked I had no choice but to brave it. The door was locked for a reason, no chance I was unlocking it to get more kit!! I'd rather die of hypothermia than discover the reason. It was bloody cold but I managed ok - thankfully it was a hard/fast bunch.

Best part was the looks and comments I got were nothing short of awesome. I think I'll do it again next year. Totally worth the hard man status I got me. Oh, I might add I was riding a Merckx too which undoubtedly helped.
Gianni says:

Sep 17 2015 at 7:42 pm

@nobby

I have to admit that I wear knee warmers pretty much the whole year round in the UK, only escewing them when riding on the continent. The reason? Well, I have very, very ugly knees and I feel thet the crime of wearing warmers year round outweights the (arguably heinous) crime of forcing my aesthetically challenging patellas on my fellow riders.

It’s okay for SpiderMonkey to bare his minging joints because a) he gets paid to and b) he’s good. I have neither attribute so covered they will remain.

Sorry

I will say in my defence that my warmers ALWAYS match the rest of my kit, and often have a nod toward the colour scheme on my bike too.

Note to self...work "minging" into all sentences from here on out. Also, note to self, find out what it means.
RobSandy says:

Sep 17 2015 at 10:13 pm

@DeKerr

@RobSandy

I hear ya when in come to the “Kneekers”. Bought a pair for last winter and had the same challenge finding the right fit. I settled on the the thigh/knee/upper calf fit, leaving the lower shin to suffer.

This year I may just settle for a pair of Castelli Nanoflex Knickers and be done with it.

Thank fuck its not just me.

Preparing to leave the house for a pre work ride right now. Its 6am, appears dry, pretty dark, and temp gauge says 11c.

Thinking short sleeved jersey, arm warmers, cap and leave the guns bare.
KogaLover says:

Sep 18 2015 at 12:30 am

@ErikdR

Yep, I read that article on winter kit from her. You do not look pro then anymore btw. She's not very active these days anymore. Maybe too busy managing her minions!
nobby says:

Sep 18 2015 at 1:16 am

@Gianni

@nobby

I have to admit that I wear knee warmers pretty much the whole year round in the UK, only escewing them when riding on the continent. The reason? Well, I have very, very ugly knees and I feel thet the crime of wearing warmers year round outweights the (arguably heinous) crime of forcing my aesthetically challenging patellas on my fellow riders.

It’s okay for SpiderMonkey to bare his minging joints because a) he gets paid to and b) he’s good. I have neither attribute so covered they will remain.

Sorry

I will say in my defence that my warmers ALWAYS match the rest of my kit, and often have a nod toward the colour scheme on my bike too.

Note to self…work “minging” into all sentences from here on out. Also, note to self, find out what it means.

Gianni, 'Minging' means 'Aweful' or 'Terrible'
RobSandy says:

Sep 18 2015 at 1:18 am

@nobby

@Gianni

@nobby

I have to admit that I wear knee warmers pretty much the whole year round in the UK, only escewing them when riding on the continent. The reason? Well, I have very, very ugly knees and I feel thet the crime of wearing warmers year round outweights the (arguably heinous) crime of forcing my aesthetically challenging patellas on my fellow riders.

It’s okay for SpiderMonkey to bare his minging joints because a) he gets paid to and b) he’s good. I have neither attribute so covered they will remain.

Sorry

I will say in my defence that my warmers ALWAYS match the rest of my kit, and often have a nod toward the colour scheme on my bike too.

Note to self…work “minging” into all sentences from here on out. Also, note to self, find out what it means.

Gianni, ‘Minging’ means ‘Aweful’ or ‘Terrible’

Round our way, getting 'minging' is also another term for getting horribly drunk. I.e., as soon as the registrar has said 'you may kiss', the chap next to me turns round and says 'Right, lets get minging!'.
strathlubnaig says:

Sep 18 2015 at 1:20 am

Obvious from the preceding comments that what is cold for some is summer for others, all relative I guess. A cooler morning should make one reach for the embrocation before making the Pavlovian leap directly to long pants or knee warmers. Belgian booties year round ? Not so sure.
frank says:

Sep 18 2015 at 1:54 am

@Nate

Fair enough, I let the numerology get the better of me there. Adjusted.
Ron says:

Sep 18 2015 at 3:49 am

During the turn over months, I LOVE a jersey with big pockets. Just picked up a new Mavic jersey and though it is meant for warm weather riding, damn, the pockets are awesome. Bigger than those on my V jersey, which are adequate, and much bigger than on my much-liked Torm jersey, which are not quite adequate. Also, while everyone needs to get on the bigger pocket bandwagon, can all jerseys come with at least one zippered pocket? I love being able to zip up my house keys and ride without worry they might fall out, from a bump or when shoving warmers in/out.

I like my pockets wide and deep enough for a bottle of Post Ride Recovery Ale (a big boy, not a 355 mL) and/or a bottle of rye. Never know when you'll just happen to have your route send you right past the bottle shop...
the Engine says:

Sep 18 2015 at 4:43 am

@Ron

During the turn over months, I LOVE a jersey with big pockets. Just picked up a new Mavic jersey and though it is meant for warm weather riding, damn, the pockets are awesome. Bigger than those on my V jersey, which are adequate, and much bigger than on my much-liked Torm jersey, which are not quite adequate. Also, while everyone needs to get on the bigger pocket bandwagon, can all jerseys come with at least one zippered pocket? I love being able to zip up my house keys and ride without worry they might fall out, from a bump or when shoving warmers in/out.

I like my pockets wide and deep enough for a bottle of Post Ride Recovery Ale (a big boy, not a 355 mL) and/or a bottle of rye. Never know when you’ll just happen to have your route send you right past the bottle shop…

This - is there a pocket size Rule? I've always been OCD about having big pockets on all my apparel but, on the other hand, one doesn't want to attract male camels by shoving unnecessary shite into a droopy gilet. Where does one draw the line?