Categories: Accessories and GearEtiquetteLook ProThe Hardmen

Dress Like An Onion: The Art of Layering

Kelly crushes fools with properly layered kit.

The thing about the cold is that you can never tell how cold it is from looking out a kitchen window. You have to dress up, get out training and when you come back, you then know how cold it is.

– Sean Kelly

Apart from the obvious lesson in Rules #5 and #9, hidden within Sean’s sage advice lies a paradox: if we can never tell how cold it is until we’ve arrived home from our ride, then how are we to determine how much kit to wear?

The Kelly Paradox is the layering equivalent of the Goldilocks Principle, wherein we aim to be neither overdressed, causing us to overheat sweat excessively, nor underdressed, causing us to needlessly lose energy through shivering and to hate life at a conceptual level. By extension, it also implies that whatever choice you make, you will get it wrong.

The answer lies in the art of layering, wherein one deploys several layers of clothing that can be unzipped, shed, and added back as both the temperature and the engine room heat up and cool back down throughout a ride.

The first rule of kitting up is that we should expect to be chilly for the first ten or fifteen minutes, allowing for the body to warm up and start producing its own heat to counter the cool outside temperatures. But this may not account for changing temperatures throughout the ride, and therefor we will need to be prepared to alter the composition of the kit.

The second rule of kitting up is that unless it is mid-summer, you are likely to misjudge the weather, so you should be prepared to make adjustments en route. Please observe the following pointers when kitting up for your ride.

Always wear a base layer, which should be made of wicking material and is designed to keep the skin of your torso dry. In colder weather, heavier wool base layers may be used as an insulation layer against the skin.
Long Sleeve jerseys and full leggings are always encouraged at the café for pre-ride espressi unless it is genuinely warm and sunny, in which case one is encouraged to bask in the sun and admire you own guns, Boonen-style.
Arm warmers are preferable to long sleeve jerseys unless the weather is sufficiently cool or the temp sufficiently moderate to ensure the long sleeve jersey will not be shed throughout the ride. Arm warmers may be slipped down to the wrists for further cooling. Under no circumstances, however, are the sleeves of a long sleeve jersey to be pulled up towards the elbows to regulate temperature.
A gilet should be considered before a long sleeve jersey as it can be easily removed and stowed mid-ride. A gilet should be light and close-fitting like a jersey. When stowing, fold flat in thirds from top to bottom, then in half along the zipper. Slip this between your jersey and bibs rather than into a jersey pocket. This should be done for bonus Casually Deliberate points while riding hands-free.
It is acceptable for any and all layers to be unzipped and allowed to flap in the wind, emphasizing how hard you are crushing it. Additional Casually Deliberate points are also available for zipping back up while riding hands-free, particularly when doing so while cresting a climb with fools suffering on your wheel.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

fenlander says:

Nov 11 2015 at 7:25 am

@chuckp

TBH I usually wear a cap under the helmet so probably wouldn't use it much anyway.

I actually trialled a Helium which had the shell on last year at a sportive,it did help with the odd rain shower but it got a bit too hot by the end.
chuckp says:

Nov 11 2015 at 11:20 am

Today's ride. Onioned/layered pretty much "just right." I'm wearing knee warmers but you can't see them in the pic. Also, I rode with a gilet/wind vest but took it off for this pic. Lombardia in Reston VA.
DavyMuur says:

Nov 11 2015 at 2:37 pm

@wiscot

The pic was taken on St. Mary’s Hill in Dublin during the Tour of Ireland.

I think you mean Patrick's hill in Cork?
frank says:

Nov 11 2015 at 4:13 pm

@fenlander

It's still an EMPS.
frank says:

Nov 11 2015 at 4:19 pm

@Matt

@Chipomarc

This guys don’t seem to be in agreement on the kit needed for the ride.

Yeah, but they’re also riding with only half a fork.

Brilliant!

@chuckp

@Ron

Also, let’s not forget the cold/hot situation and where the hell you grew up. Now that I live in the southern U.S. I’m routinely annoyed with what people consider too cold to do anything out-of-doors. If you grew up in a place with an actual winter and four seasons, you just deal with shite weather. If you grew up in a sunny place, unless it is 25* and brilliant, you fucking complain.

Another factor is your ancestry/ethnic heritage. Those of you with Nordic genes are probably going to tolerate cold weather a lot better than those of with tropical/island (in my case, my parents were from the Philippines) genes.

There is probably a certain truth to it, but it's easier to just call you all sissies.
frank says:

Nov 11 2015 at 4:22 pm

@Haldy

@frank

@teleguy57

I wear LS myself quite a bit as well; the point is to only do that when you’re certain you won’t need to take the sleeves off. A great example was the Whidbey Cogal where we started in cool weather and finished in bare arms and legs. An LS jersey would have been a pain in the ass. (Although we had a team car, and @Haldy rode the whole day in long sleeves, full leggings, and overshoes WTF.

You just don’t like my shoe covers because one is pink and one is blue. Not to mention the fact that you were an ungrateful bastard and didn’t wear the orange shoe covers I made the special effort to get hold of in time for the cogal, and you still have my scissors! I would also point out that I had to split off early to ride back down the Island and catch a ferry..thereby not having the support of said team car for the final 30 miles, and I was quite grateful for the layers the last 10 miles or so, it was cloudy and cold at the southern end of the island when I was back down there. Having done the solo run from my house to the top of Stevens Pass the week before..I was used to having to carry everything I started out with.

Oh, I can handle it, and while I didn't ride the overshoes that day, I've been rocking them regularly. They look the tits with black socks.

@litvi

@wiscot

@Matt

@Chipomarc

This guys don’t seem to be in agreement on the kit needed for the ride.

Yeah, but they’re also riding with only half a fork.

I think that’s why they’ve stopped. “Fuck me, mateys, anyone seen my right fork?”

I like the guy in the center. “Hold the fuck on guys… Before we start, Jimmy needs a lesson in dressin.”

I'm boggled by the guy with the chin warmer.
frank says:

Nov 11 2015 at 4:23 pm

@RobSandy

@Matt

@chuckp

Perhaps the other fork leg was crushed and melted down to produce the necessary material for the 900mm bars the far left rider is using.

One of my mates rides off road with bars that wide. It fucking freaks me out. Looks like he’s riding his bike with a broom.

You don't want to be riding too much technical single track with bars like that. Holy hell.
bea says:

Nov 12 2015 at 1:22 am

I'm wondering, how many of you ever took their leg-warmers off during a ride?
RobSandy says:

Nov 12 2015 at 1:34 am

@bea

I’m wondering, how many of you ever took their leg-warmers off during a ride?

I've taken my Kneekers off because they annoy me so much.
RobSandy says:

Nov 12 2015 at 1:35 am

@frank

@RobSandy

@Matt

@chuckp

Perhaps the other fork leg was crushed and melted down to produce the necessary material for the 900mm bars the far left rider is using.

One of my mates rides off road with bars that wide. It fucking freaks me out. Looks like he’s riding his bike with a broom.

You don’t want to be riding too much technical single track with bars like that. Holy hell.

Is this an appropriate time to initiate a road bike bar width discussion? I've got 44's on mine, and feel like they get wider every time I ride. I'm getting some 42cm wide 3T Rotundos for Christmas, so will be down-widthing as well as going to a classic bend.

Any thoughts from the class?